


The First Mistake

by AvengersBarnes



Series: Heimdall's Mission [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Awesome Howling Commandos, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Captain America: The First Avenger, Everyone is Bisexual, First Meetings, Fix-It, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Mutual Pining, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Science Nerd Bucky Barnes, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:30:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 75,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvengersBarnes/pseuds/AvengersBarnes
Summary: Heimdall is sent back in time to help the Avengers stopped Thanos. He's sent back to the very beginning, Time believes it all went wrong with two soldiers from Brooklyn who should never have been separated for 70 years.Or The Catfa rewrite that nobody asked for.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so bear with me here. I know Steve and Bucky are supposed to be childhood friends but in this Bucky is about 19 and Steve is almost 18. Becca is younger at about 14. I'm hoping to do at least a few chapters on each film to work through different characters of MCU. It might be that turns into a short story per film rather than one massive fic. Also I know Heimdall dies early on in IW but I needed him to be alive-ish at the end for this to work. Artistic license y'al! There is quite a lot of swearing and violence in this one but I wouldn't say it's graphic. Steve and Bucky to the rescue! Anyway enjoy!

The man took a long and heavy breath. His muscles ached and a deep pain throbbed in his chest. He saw his breath crystallise in the darkness in front of him. The Asgardian's golden irises were the only colour in the black sky. He glanced for the last time over the universe. His heart ached at what he saw. Billions of lives fading to dust; each death plunged into his soul like a needle pricking on his skin.

 “Odin. Forgive me.’ The Old Man breathed into the silence surrounding him. He had failed. The souls of those who survived were screaming in the agony of grief for their fallen loved ones. The souls of dust were the lucky ones in this battle. He let his tired eyes fall shut and embraced death willingly, longing for the end of the pain that blistered through his entire existence.

 But Death never came for the Asgardian. He felt the pain subside and the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders. His eyes met another. The colours were as indescribable as they were beautiful. He would later say that it was like a rainbow had been shattered through space and time itself. A singular giant eye in the bright white plain that now surrounded him. It was a vision that would stay with him for the rest of his time watching over the nine realms.

 ‘It is I who has failed you, my child.’ The voice echoed in his mind. A warmth flooded his heart and even through all the pain he had felt, he couldn’t help but smile. The voice was ageless. It had the knowledge of a thousand Asgardian lifetimes with the curiosity of a newborn babe. The thing that struck the old man though was the heartbreak. He had never heard a voice so somber. He tried to speak, to comfort the voice but he couldn’t find any words to say.

 ‘We must try again. Learn from the mistakes Little One. Let them be happy. Help them to win. Guide them with my spirit. Only you can save them.’ He felt an invisible touch to his heart. The colours of the universe blinded his vision then faded to black as he fell unconscious in the unknown realm. _Death at last…_

 

* * *

 

‘Hey!’ A small blond from Brooklyn yelled at the group of lads behind the movie theatre. They were crowded around a young brunette who was struggling against the arms of the tallest boy. The blond’s trousers were torn at the knee and his lower lip was split and scabbed from the last fight he had found himself in. ‘Pick on someone your own size!’

 The largest of the men chuckled and pushed the brunette to ground. She winced as her hands were grazed on the rough tarmac. Steve saw the fire in her eyes and she brushed her hair from her face. Bruises has started to form on her wrists from where she’d tried to free herself from the the bullies’ grasp. Steve noticed the scratch marks on the man’s face and felt a swell of pride. They hadn’t managed to get her just yet. The main thug flexed a muscle and turned to face the unwelcome arrival. He didn’t bother straightening his spine. He already towered over the other man. It’s wasn’t difficult.

 “Rogers. When are yer going to learn to keep your nose out of business where it don’t belong?’ He snarled at the smaller man. Steve Rogers just glanced up at him with his blue eyes. The blond hair falling over his brow.

 ‘When are you gonna stop making it my business by picking on dames who are half your fucking size!’ Steve was aiming for intimidating but his stupid height and skinny frame ruined any hope he had of that. The bullies just laughed at him but Steve stood his ground. He wasn’t about to let them ruin the young girls honour. He noticed her crawling round the back of the men. _Good. She’s smart enough to make a break for it._ Whoever the girl was this wasn’t her first fight.

 ‘Well what do you say lads? Why don’t we pick on a different dame half our size? You know Rogers. I always did prefer blondes!’ He spat at the blond man in front of him. The men forming a barrier between Steve and the young girl behind them. Steve heard her hiss a curse as her escape path was suddenly blocked by the smallest of the thugs. Steve quickly sized up the men in front of him. Maybe he could take out the smaller one before they got him. At the very least it would distract them long enough for the girl to get away.

 Steve wiped the spit of his face with his sleeve that fell passed his finger tips before throwing a punch at the thug who was blocking the young girls path. He missed badly and he fell forward as he lost his balance. The blond was smart though. He used it to his advantage and rolled onto the floor; narrowly avoiding the punches that were flying at his face. He landed next to the brunette girl. Her cheek was swollen and purple and she was holding her left arm to her chest. Steve pulled her to her feet carefully before launching himself at the group of men.

 ‘Go! Get out of here I got this!’ He yelled as the men stumbled under the sudden weight that was thrown upon them. Steve went down with them but it gave the girl enough time to run to safety. He smiled as they picked him off the floor and gave her a wink. His smile didn’t last long as the other man’s fist made contact with his jaw. He winced as he heard the sound of bones cracking. Pain seared through his face and his vision blurred with the impact. He could taste iron in his mouth.

 ‘You lost us our fun, mouse!’ The main bully’s voice rang in his ear.

 Steve’s head was still ringing but he refused to let it show. Without warning he was thrown to the floor. His chest ached in protest as the air was forced out of his lungs. He prayed to God that he didn’t get an asthma attack now. He couldn’t afford to right now. His arms flew up to defend his head as the thugs boots made contact with his ribs. Bloody hell his Ma was gonna kill him for this. If he survived. He grabbed the nearest boot and pulled hard. It didn’t work as well as he hoped but it distracted them long enough for him to get to his feet. He grabbed the nearest thing he could find to help him. It was the lid of the trash can, it smelt of burnt popcorn and stale beer. He managed to block a couple of the punches with the lid; the bullies swore as their knuckles struck the metal. They learnt too quickly and ripped the temporary shield from his hands. Strong hands were around his neck as the metal crashed to the floor. In seconds his feet left the floor as the main thug pushed him up against the wall. He felt a new wave of pain as he bruised spine was smashed against the cold bricks behind him.

 ‘Fuck you!’ He spat blood at their feet. His jaw ached in protest. He was going to say something witty but he knew from experience that wasn’t easy when your jaw is potentially broken. He waited for the next blow; helplessly trying to wriggle out of their grasp. He knew from experience it would probably knock him out and he’d wake up without his wallet with a headache the size of Manhattan.

 ‘I don’t think they’re good enough for that Rogers.’ A new voice entered the dim alley. He didn’t recognise the voice. His blue eyes flashed to where the sound had come from. A tall dark haired man with a cocky grin on his face was stood against the bins. His sleeves were rolled up and even in the dim light Steve could appreciate the firm muscles in the man’s forearms. He blushed and forced his jaw to work.

 ‘And you think you are? Jerk.’ His vision was still blurred from the pain but he could see the bullies were confused by the new arrival. He took the opportunity and flung his legs as hard as he could; kicking the man holding him backwards. He once again fell to the ground. His arms went up to save himself from the punch he knew was coming but it was blocked before they hit his arms. The handsome stranger was dodging and throwing punches like he was born to fight. Steve did his best to help, occasionally jumping on their backs to slow them down whilst the other man knocked them down. Eventually they had all run from the alley. The brunet kicked the last one out with a triumphant cheer.

 ‘And stay away from my sister you dumb ass!’ The man yelled at his retreating figure. Steve stared in wonder at the taller man in front of him. He memorised the shape of his strong jawline, the way the light caught the bridge of his nose, the colours dancing in his dark hair and his eyes. His eyes were beautiful, blue like Steve’s but not like Steve’s in anyway. They were piercing and bright; the colour of the winter sky.‘What you looking at Punk?’

 Steve blushed and tore his gaze away from the man’s face.

 ‘I had him on the ropes you know’ deflecting the question hastily.

 ‘Sure you did. Thanks for saving my sister Rogers’ The man flashed a smile at him and Steve could have sworn his heart raced a little at the sight. He’d say it skipped a beat but that wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary.

 ‘Steve. Steve Rogers. No worries. She’d given them a few punches before I made it. She’s tough.’Steve held out his hand. The man’s grip was strong and warm and Steve never wanted to let go. Although they were both more than a little sweaty and covered in a dirt, blood mixture.

 ‘James Barnes but you can call me Bucky. Nice to meet yer Stevie.’ Steve grinned up at Bucky. He knew in that moment he’d made a friend for life. He couldn’t wait to tell his Ma.

* * *

Bucky was in for one hell of a day. He was standing in his small kitchen slicing potatoes with a blunt knife; oblivious to the fact his life was about to change forever. He looked up as he heard Becca run in covered in dirt with her dress torn in more places than he could count. He almost cut his finger off at the sight of her when she came in. 

 ‘Shit Becca! Who did this to you?’ His fingers traced a bruise that was forming on her cheek. His eyes met hers, searching frantically for answers. Becca’s hands knocked his away from her face and pulled at his sleeve.

 ‘I’m fine Bucky but you have to help him!’ She was breathless from the run back to the apartment. Bucky let himself be led out of the apartment by his little sister.

 ‘Who am I saving now Becs?’ He asked on the way down the narrow steps of their building. He almost tripped over a ginger cat that was lying on the bottom step.

 They called him Rogers. I don’t know but he’s tiny Buck!’ They ran faster past the old movie theatre and into the alley behind; the light beginning to fade.

 'I got this Becca. Go home and finish dinner. I’ll be back soon.’ He kissed her hair quickly before she ran back to their apartment. He turned back to the scene in front of him.

 A blond boy was lifted off the ground by a group of thugs. They had hold of his collar. The shirt was so big for the blond he was almost falling out of it. His blue eyes were a raging fire of defiance and bravery. Bucky could see the purple bruise already forming on the small man’s face. His heart clenched. Becca was right. He had to save him but how to distract them.

 ‘Fuck you!’ The blond spat out viciously. _And that’s my cue._ Bucky grinned.

 ‘I don’t think they’re good enough for that, Rogers.’ He was all too distracted by the blush that crept up from underneath the too big shirt. Rogers eyes met his, looking up at him through the longest lashes he had ever seen. It would put a lady’s to shame. He was an angel. It was the only explanation. He saved his sister and had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. They were swirling blue like the seaside on a bright summer’s day. His lips looked soft and pink and so damn kissable. Bucky wondered what they’d look like swollen and red from being kissed til the cows came home.

 ‘And you think you are? Jerk’ _Wait is he flirting back?_ Bucky grinned.

 He didn’t think anyone was good enough for this boy but god dammit he was gonna try to be! Luckily his entrance to the fight had had it’s desired effect on the thugs. The looked between Bucky and Rogers in confusion. Not that Bucky could blame them. He was a bit taken back himself. What was this tiny man doing taking on a bunch of thugs? He was going to end up in hospital if he kept going like this.

 Bucky moved to hit the man that was holding Rogers up but the blond beat him to it. He flung his legs up and kicked with all his strength; hitting the thug square in the chest. The man was stunned enough to drop Rogers. Bucky only hesitated in his attack for a second to make sure the blond was alright before socking the nearest bully in the jaw. It make a satisfying crack and the man yelped in pain. He tried to punch back but Bucky dodged it with ease. He’d been protecting Becca from men like this since their parents died. He grabbed the next punch and twisted the mans wrist back until he cried out and yanked his wrist back; cursing them both as he ran from the alley. Bucky went to face the next opponent but the man had a head start and he almost turned straight into the thug’s fist.

 The blond had his back though. He jumped on the shoulders of the thug which caused him to stumble back giving Bucky the opportunity to duck under the punch and pull the bully to the ground. The blond fell too but Bucky quickly grabbed him by the hand and pulled him up and behind him. He gave the man a kick to the ribs before he too scrambled out of the alley. That left one last thug. He was probably the smallest out of the three and had tried to stay out of the fight so far. Bucky grinned at the blond behind him. Rogers nodded and did what he did best and threw his entire weight and the bully. The man grunted as he was winded by the sudden weight of the blond man on top of him. Rogers even managed to throw in a few punches before the thug regained his balance but the blond blocked the punch and side stepped so Bucky could finish it off. Bucky grabbed the mans shoulder and threw him towards the open street; kicking him on the way out as the man started to run.

 ‘And stay away from my sister you dumb ass!’ He yelled!

 The adrenaline running through him had given him a high and he felt almost invincible. He watched him run away with pride. Bucky just wanted to pick the blond man up and spin him round with glee. He turned to his new ally in battle with a grin on his face. Rogers’ eyes were fixed on him. It was intensely beautiful to watch the ocean orbs almost hypnotised by him. _God I hope I’m not reading this wrong!_ Bucky was almost certain the younger blond was attracted to him. He’d seen that look on girls before ever since puberty he’d been blessed with the attention of guys and dolls alike. Not that he particularly minded the attention. It was easier with the dames. It’s what society expected of him but he couldn’t help but be drawn the men he met at the dirty bars down the river; the feel of stubble against his body, tracing the muscles of a man’s chest, the feeling of soft short hair through his fingers. He felt the heat of arousal flood his body. He pushed the thoughts down and focused back on the cute blond in front of him.

 ‘What you looking at Punk?’ He smirked; regaining control of his thoughts once more. Although that didn’t last long as Rogers’ face went a deep red. God he was so beautiful when he blushed.

 ‘I had him on the ropes you know’ The blond wheezed slightly as he spoke. Bucky made a note to not let him fight so much in future. He was good but he clearly wasn’t fit enough to keep this up. _In the future. Jeez Buck get a grip!_

 ‘Sure you did. Thanks for saving my sister Rogers’ He resisted the urge to salute the younger man. He just smiled instead; hoping it portrayed his gratitude. He didn’t want to think what would have happened to Becca if the blond hadn’t been there.

 ‘Steve. Steve Rogers. No worries. She’d given them a few punches before I made it. She’s tough.’Bucky chuckled at that. He knew first hand what a menace his sister could be. He grasped Steve’s offered hand and shook it; trying to ignore the way it made his heart race when their skin touched.

 ‘James Barnes but you can call me Bucky. Nice to meet yer Stevie.’ He groaned internally. Why did he just say that? but Steve’s smile beamed up at him in pure joy that Bucky quickly forgot why he was embarrassed. He knew he’d do anything to make Steve smile like that.

 Bucky Barnes was well and truly fucked.

* * *

 

The Asgardian was confused. He was watching Captain Rogers and the Winter Soldier as he’d never seen them before. He’d been alive when they first met but Heimdall had never needed to watch over the Captain before they became Avengers. He’d never paid any attention to the small boy from Brooklyn. Why had he been sent here? 

 ‘What do you want from me?’ He asked the creature from the unknown realm.

 ‘Help them. They are stronger together. This was the first mistake.’


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Chapter two! More Stucky love in this one. They aren't a couple (sadly) but they both want to be. Basically they don't talk about their feelings because they know they can't have a relationship but they both flirt like hell. I hope this comes across. Anyhoo. Enjoy!

Bucky stared at the piece of paper in his hands. A sense of dread flooded over him as he brushed his fingers across the edge of the sheet. It could only mean one thing. He’d been drafted into the war. He closed his eyes and threw the paper across the room.

‘Fuck!’ He cursed and punched the mattress next to him. Him and Steve knew this day had been coming. Steve’s stupid ass had been to 3 different enlisting stations already to try and sign up. All Bucky wanted to do was continue his work down at the docks so he could earn enough money to keep Steve safe. He held his head in his hands in despair; running his fingers through his hair. He sighed. This was not good. Steve was just gonna try harder to get his cute ass into a uniform so he could punch some Nazis. Although, Bucky thought, it might not be so bad seeing Steve’s ass in the uniform. If there’s one thing they’d both learnt from this war is that they were both suckers for a uniform. Bucky had lost count of the girls he’d picked up at the bar who were in the pretty green skirts. 

Still that didn’t make opening the letter any easier. Why did Hitler have to be such a damn bully? 

‘Buck?’ Steve’s voice called from the hall way. Bucky looked up at his best friend. He could see the concern in Steve’s beautiful angel eyes. God he just wanted to kiss him. 

They flirted back and forth on a daily basis. They used every excuse to be close to one another, the cold winter makes Steve sick so they just have to share a bed, they don’t have enough money to have two baths so they have to share one, they let their fingers touch a little too often when walking beside one another. They’ve never kissed though. Never admitted the feelings they both so clearly feel. It’s a bittersweet torture living with Steve Rogers. Bucky knows that if they ever did something there would be no way back. It would be all or nothing. It would be til the end of line. 

That’s just something they can’t have. 

Bucky settles for being his best friend. Steve settles too. It’s the only way they can bear it. So close but yet too far apart. 

‘Bucky?’ Steve crosses the room quickly; dropping his notebook on the chair as he passes. Bucky feels the mattress sink next to him. He is desperately trying to find the words to say to the man next to him. He knows Steve is worried by his silence. Steve’s arm is round his shoulder. The weight is comforting and he wishes he could just hold the blond and never let him go. 

‘I don’t wanna go Stevie…’ His fucking voice breaks as the words finally escape. 

Why can’t he just hold it together. He needs to be strong for Steve. Everyone always thinks it’s Bucky that protects Steve. He’s bigger and stronger physically, he has Steve’s back every second of everyday. He saves up for food and medicine when they need it and he stays by Steve’s side when he’s sick. That’s nothing though. Steve is the strongest person he knows. He’ll throw himself into a fight he knows he’ll lose if it means doing the right thing. Hell that’s how they met. He’ll give his last dollar to the homeless guy across the street because Steve Rogers already has a home he doesn’t need food as well. He’ll sit for hours on the Hudson sketching the waves and selling his work for barely a cent if that’s what it takes to cheer someone up. Steve is all the good in the world and Bucky just wishes everyone else could see. He knows Steve will be alone when he’s gone so he has to be selfless and be strong for Steve but Bucky can’t help the tears that fall. A sob rips through his body silently. Steve’s fingers move to his hair. Gently prying the knots away as they comb through the strands. Bucky knows it’s supposed to comfort him but he feels numb. 

He’s unsure how long they sit like that on the worn mattress. Steve moves at one point so he’s curled up against Bucky’s chest. Bucky misses the weight over his shoulders but he knows it can’t have been comfortable for Steve and he quickly grows attached to the feeling of Steve’s breathing against his chest. The slow rise and fall of each breath helps ground Bucky. Time eventually passes and Bucky’s breathing calms. The tears stop falling and his brain slowly shakes off the anxiety that had him gripped. He places a chaste kiss on Steve’s hair to let him know he’s ok. He tries to pull away but Steve just presses his face into Bucky’s chest and mumbles something.

‘What was that Stevie?’ Bucky chuckles. The anxiety finally falling away. He’s knows it won’t be the last attack before he heads out but hopefully it’s the worst. 

‘You’re a Jerk.’ Steve’s voice is still muffled but Bucky just about makes out the words.

‘Were you asleep Steven Grant Rogers?’ He tilts his head and looks down at his friend.

‘Jerk. I just got comfy. I sit hear listening to you ball your eyes out and you can’t even let me have a nap!’ Steve finally looks up at him. His face is covered in marks where his skin has been pressed against Bucky’s shirt. Bucky takes a moment to remember how to breathe. How on earth did he get this lucky?

‘Sorry Punk. I’m hungry. Why don’t we go out and grab a hot dog? I don’t think I’ll be getting them much longer.’ He’s trying to stay light hearted but the news is hovering over him like a dark shadow. 

‘Only if you’re paying. I bought the groceries this week.’ And like that they fall into their routine. Easy as pie. Bucky grabs his jacket and they make their way through the dusty streets of Brooklyn. Bucky is determined to notice every single detail of his beloved city. It’s not easy when you’re walking down the pavement next to the most beautiful person you know but Bucky really tries to focus. He’s already got Steve imprinted in his brain after all. Still it’s not easy when the soft evening light is gleaming off Steve’s face in brilliant autumnal hues. Bucky smiles softly and puts his arm round his best friend. Steve was always just the right height for Bucky to do that. They bought a couple of hot dogs and made their way down the river. 

‘When do you head out?’ Steve’s voice was quiet. It was a topic they’d avoided so far. Neither of them really wanted to say it out loud. Saying it out loud made it too real, too painful. 

‘I didn’t get that far. I threw it away before I could read it properly’ Bucky’s jaw tensed up. He didn’t want to talk about it. Steve knew this. Why couldn’t he just let it go so they could enjoy the evening in peace?

‘You know that won’t make it go away right?’ Steve slowed to a stop so he could look up and Bucky. Bucky turned his head away not wanting to see the disappointment in his friends eyes. He knew Steve was desperate to join the war. He saw people laying down their lives whilst he was stuck here in Brooklyn. Bucky wished Steve could see how lucky he was. He had a chance to live; to survive. 

‘I know! Steve. I know… I just. I can’t leave you Stevie. Who’s gonna stop you from picking fights with every bully in the neighbourhood?’ To Bucky’s surprise Steve just laughed at that.

‘Aww come on Buck. You know you’ve never managed to stop me yet. I don’t see that changing just because the Nazis are attacking.’ Steve’s blond hair had grown longer in the last few weeks. It was due a cut but neither of them could afford it. Steve trusted Bucky with a lot of things but cutting his hair was not one of them. Becca normally helped out but she’d been busier than normal in the call centre since the war broke out. So Steve’s hair kept falling into his eyes, he brushed the loose strands away with a quick subconscious swipe of his hand. 

‘I’ll always follow you into battle and you know it.’ Bucky had given up after the first few months. He’d initially tried to prevent the fights that had introduced them but Steve just couldn’t walk passed a bully without his moral compass ringing alarm bells. So Bucky just did his best to make sure no one got hurt too bad; no one normally being Steve. 

‘Hopefully I’ll be the one following you this time. You’re gonna be a great soldier Buck. I bet you won’t look half bad in the uniform either.’ They both laughed at that. Steve’s face went pink but he didn’t look away. Bucky wanted to kiss him so bad but he settled for ruffling the blond’s hair instead. It was like an unspoken rule. They could never acknowledge the burning desire that flowed between them. 

‘If you follow me into this one I swear to God I’ll have a heart attack Stevie.’ He was only half joking. Steve was basically disabled though so he knew there was no way he’d pass the enlistment form. 

‘Only because you know I’d look damn fine in the uniform too. Jerk.’ It was Bucky’s turn to blush. Steve wasn’t wrong. 

‘Punk.’ He returned the insult without thinking. They fall into an uneasy silence. Bucky’s upcoming departure hung heavily between them. 

After about 20 minutes of ambling along the river Steve paused and stared out onto the water. Bucky knew this look well. The setting sun was making the water come alive with colour. The small boats casting long shadows on the sparkling tides. Sure enough Steve’s fingers were twitching; reaching for a pencil that wasn’t there. It was such a Steve thing to do. He always saw the beauty in everything in life. Most people walking were too busy with their lives to even notice but not Steve. The small blond was enamoured by the world around him. He saw the good in people who didn’t deserve it. Even when faced with homophobic assholes in a back alley Steve would always try and talk first. It’s not his fault they always take one look at his small frame and see an easy fight. 

Bucky reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the notepad and pencil he always carried with him. They couldn’t afford the stunning sets of colours in the shop that Steve always gazed longingly at but Bucky made sure he never left home without a pencil. He pressed the notepad into Steve’s hand and pulled him towards a nearby bench. Steve’s flashed him a fond smile. His blues eyes sparkling in the dusk light. 

‘Thanks Buck.’ Almost immediately his small fingers gripped the pencil and he flipped the notebook open. Bucky couldn’t help but notice how many drawings of him were in the filled pages before Steve found a blank page. Bucky made a note to buy a new pad before he left. 

‘Any time Punk.’ He put his hand on Steve’s shoulder and gave him a tired smile. He knew he left his hand there slightly longer than he should but he knew Steve wouldn’t mind. ‘Any time.’ 

Bucky hummed a familiar tune under his breath as Steve scribbled away. It was the song his mother used to sing to him and Becca before the accident when they’d woken up with nightmares or had a hard day at school. It wasn’t as comforting as when his mother sang it but the nostalgia helped ease some of the fear. He wondered what his mother would have thought of Steve. Becca always loved Steve like a brother but Bucky thought that might have had something to do with Steve saving her ass when they were younger. Bucky may have been biased but he would always say his Ma had been the best woman in all of Brooklyn, maybe even the world. She’d been as American as apple pie and as warm and comforting as one too. There wasn’t a day that went by that Bucky didn’t miss his Ma. 

He remembered coming home from School one day in tears. He had only been about five and some of the bigger kids were picking on him because he couldn’t tie his shoe laces. It was such a stupid thing to get upset about but hey he was only young. Bucky’s mother had taken one look at her son and wrapped him up so tight in her arms that he thought he might never breathe again. They didn’t talk about it until after dinner but Bucky vividly remembers his mother’s arms around him and her singing softly in his ear whilst he cried. Then for dinner his Ma gave him extra potato because that was always his favourite. 

‘Bucky?’ Steve’s voice snapped him back to reality. The smaller man was looking up at him through his long eyelashes. Bucky could see the worry in his face.

‘huh?’ He stammered… _Real Eloquent Barnes._ He chided himself internally. ‘I mean. Yes it is I. James Buchanan Barnes. At your service.’ He bowed dramatically to his friend. Steve laughed and gave him a shove. Bucky pretended it had been hard enough to make him lose his balance and he fell off the side of the bench. It only hurt his bum a little but it worth it to see Steve’s face as he burst into hysterical laughter. 

‘I can’t believe you actually fell off the bench you jerk!’ Steve held his stomach as he laughed. 

‘Can’t believe you actually pushed me Punk. After I was so nice and remembered to bring your art stuff out with us.’ Bucky shot back with a smirk.

‘Aww Buck. You look after me real good.’ Steve helped Bucky up off the floor. He coughed as an after effect of his laughing fit. It was Bucky’s turn to look concerned. ‘I’m fine Buck. Honestly. Just a cough.’ His voice didn’t sound wheezy so Bucky let it go. 

‘I’ll always look after you Stevie, I’m with you til the end of the line, pal’ Steve grinned at that. Neither of them could remember who had said it first but it was their thing. Their version of I love you. One of Bucky’s friends from work had tried to butt his way in once and said it as a joke. Bucky almost socked him for it but he couldn’t afford to lose his job. 

The light was fading fast so Steve begrudgingly put away the notepad and pencil and they headed back home. They chatted easily about Bucky’s work and what groceries they need to pick up next week, how much would they need to save up for the food and could they spare any for a trip to the movie theatre before Bucky got shipped out. Steve asked how his sister was doing and they both agreed to visit her next week. Before they knew it they were back at the small dingy apartment that they called home. Bucky hadn’t realised how tired he was and the bed had never looked so welcoming. They said their goodnights before heading to their separate rooms; leaving Bucky alone for the first time since he’d read the letter. 

 

* * *

He drifted in and out of sleep restlessly. The weather was hot and apartment was humid and sticky. He knew he was tired but his mind just didn’t want to turn off. He stared at the ceiling for over an hour before rolling over and trying desperately to get to sleep. He knows that he drifted off a few times because he hadn’t heard Steve start snoring in the other room. He woke up irritably to the sound of it which meant he must have slept. With a sigh he hauled himself off the lumpy mattress and gingerly made his way across the room to where the letter lay abandoned on the floor. 

Turns out their plans for next week were meaningless. He only had a couple more days. They were desperate clearly. He ran his hands through his hair and stuffed the letter in his pocket. He picked up his shoes and quietly made his way to the door. He was careful not to wake Steve up. He always needed more sleep than Bucky. He guessed it was because Steve’s body was always fighting whether it was the asthma or the next bout of pneumonia that was always inevitable. He put his shoes on once he’d made it outside the apartment. He didn’t walk far. He just needed to feel the cooler air of the city. It didn’t help much. Even at night the heat permeated the air. Bucky just wanted to run, to escape the heat and the army. He didn’t want to fight, not without Steve, but he knew Steve could never fight. They’d be mad to let him enlist. 

‘It’ll be ok you know’ Bucky jumped right out of his skin. He thought he’d been alone on the streets of Brooklyn. ‘He’s stronger than he looks.’ The man had dark skin and long black hair that fell well below his shoulder. He was dressed in a brown tattered cloak. 

‘Umm.. I’m sorry I don’t have any change…’ Bucky stuttered. Who on earth was this man? He seemed to know about Steve and that scared the shit out of him. To his surprise the man just laughed. The laugh seemed forced though. It didn’t reach his golden eyes, they were haunted with sorrow. This man had seen things. Bucky was sure of that.

‘I don’t want your money soldier. Just know your boy up there will be ok. He’s a good man and one day soon you won’t be the only one to see it.’ Bucky had gone mad. That was the only explanation. 

‘I’m not a soldier. Not yet. The hell do you think you are?’ Bucky was almost shouting at this stranger but he couldn’t find the heart to feel sorry for him. 

‘Not important. You just need to trust that the Captain will be more than ok. He’ll find his way back to you. You’re stronger together.’ Captain? Who was he talking about. Bucky didn’t know any captains.

‘I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about Old Man. I’m gonna go back inside now. Don’t follow me.’ The man just chuckled as Bucky turned and ran back inside. He was a mad man. The only person Bucky was stronger with is Steve. 

 

* * *

Bucky woke up the next morning covered in sweat with the bed sheets sticking to him. He was wearing his shoes and his letter was stuffed in his pockets. He tried not to think about his strange encountered from the night before. He just told himself that it was a strange dream and went to find Steve in the kitchen. He couldn’t help wonder who the Captain was though and why did the strange man think Bucky knew him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Heimdall has a plan. Bear with me. We'll get there. I'm just exploring the idea and characters at this stage. I'm on Avengersbarnes on tumblr is you wanna cry over stucky and Sebastian Stan with me. As always let me know what you think. I live for feedback! Much love.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this ended up being almost longer than the first two chapters put together... oops. I've taken some of the dialogue from the film so that's not mine. Other bits I've tweaked and adjusted so it's still my interpretation but this chapter is heavily influenced by The First Avenger and I don't take credit for any of that. There's some period typical homophobic remarks in this one. This is not my opinion but I wanted to explore the internalised homophobia the boys experience and how it's influenced by their society. As they eventually get into 2012 this will ease off as they develop their relationship. Just as a heads up. Hope you enjoy it!

 

Steve stared out at the river. The heatwave had finally broken and there was a chill in the air. He’d been lucky since Bucky left. He’d managed to make enough money painting shop fronts and selling his artwork of the city down by the river to cover the rent. He’d been short for food but he was only little. He didn’t need much. He just hoped the cold didn’t settle in his lungs. Medicine was a luxury he could not afford. Bucky was training before they shipped him out to Europe. They’d sent a few letters back and forth but stamps weren’t cheap and Bucky was real busy learning to be the best damn soldier this side of the ocean. Steve often found himself out by the river sketching idly. He didn’t mean to keep coming back but it reminded him of his friend. They used to come down here in the evenings and share a hot dog or two if they could afford it. Bucky would always remember to bring a notepad and pencil and they would sit and watch the sunset over the water. Steve had to remember his own pad now and more frequently than not it wasn’t the riverside he’d sketch. His notepad was almost full of pictures of Bucky. He drew his eyes most days. If he had some time he’d try and sketch his hair. It was difficult to capture the way the light hit the coppery brown strands with just a basic pencil but he managed well enough. He drew Bucky in his uniform. He hadn’t seen it yet but he could just imagine how the earthy green fabric would fit his friends body. The one thing he could never quite bring himself to draw was Bucky’s lips. The one thing Steve knew better than anything. How many times had he caught himself looking at those lips.

Steve let out a heavy sigh. Those lips he would never kiss. Not when Bucky was out chasing every skirt in Brooklyn. Sometimes he thought he’d catch a look in Bucky’s eyes. It echoed the same look that Steve knew was in his eyes every time his gaze caught Bucky’s. He imagined for once closing the gap between them and pressing his lips against Bucky’s. He wondered if they were as soft as they looked. Bucky always turned away too soon or laughed the moment off. He would be out that evening in the dance hall looking a dame to flirt with. Steve’s heart would ache every time. He still hoped though. It was pathetic really. Maybe once Bucky returned from training Steve would be brave enough to break the silence, to talk about the topic they always avoided. He knew it was wrong. He shouldn’t feel these things for a fella but it was Bucky. Bucky had always been different. Bucky was Steve’s. Maybe not in the way he hoped but he was Steve’s all the same. Now he just had to make sure they both survived this damn war. 

‘Barnes will be back. Worry about yourself for now captain.’ Steve jumped at the sudden interruption to his thought. His pencil flew out of his hand. A tall dark gentleman in long robes caught the pencil easily and handed it back to him. Steve took in carefully; not quite sure of this stranger. 

‘Who are you?’ Steve’s voice was a little shaken. His chest felt tight from the cold air and the fright but he was gonna hold his ground. He shut his book quickly when he realised the drawings had once again taken the form of his best friend. 

‘An old friend.’ The older man said. His voice was deep and somber. He had the most peculiar eyes. Steve was certainly confused. He was sure he’d never seen this man before but he claimed to be friends. Maybe he was one of those fortune tellers who told you your future for a dime. 

‘I’m not a captain? I’m not even a soldier.’ Steve didn’t hide the bitterness from his voice. He knew they were trying to save him by not letting him fight but he was done with people protecting him. He’d been standing up to bullies his entire life. He wasn’t going to stop now. ‘They won’t take me on. Apparently the asthmas only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my health checks.’ It was always the asthma they picked out. He knew it probably his dodgy ticker that was the problem. Bucky never cared. Bucky said he had a good heart. It just didn’t beat like everyone else’s. That made him special. 

‘Not yet. Now isn’t your time. You’ll get your chance when you’re needed.’ With that the stranger disappeared into the shadows. Steve was left sitting on the bench looking very confused. _Not my time. It’s never my time._

He tucked his notepad into Bucky’s jacket that he’d taken to wearing and started his journey home. He decided he didn’t want to be out on his own anymore, not with the strange men on the streets.

* * *

‘Hey!’ A familiar voice from the end of the alley shouted.  ‘Pick on someone your own size.’ _Bucky!_ Steve’s heart soared and his picked himself up from the ground. His knees were scraped and he was pretty sure he’d sprain his wrist. Bucky kicked the other man out the alley and turned to Steve. Every picture he’d drawn, every thought he’d had, nothing could have prepared him for the sight of James Barnes in a uniform. He momentarily forgot how words worked. His heart was hammering in his chest. God he hoped he didn’t have a heart attack. That would be just his luck. Seeing Bucky in uniform and his heart gives out. 

‘Sometimes, I think you like getting punched.’ Bucky’s Brooklyn accent drawled. He hadn’t changed a bit. Well his hair was shorter and he had filled out slightly from the training. He looked damn good too. Steve couldn’t help but grin up at his best friend. 

‘I had him on the ropes.’ Steve fell into their normal routine with ease. He had really missed this. He had to admit, taking down bullies on his own was never quite as fun and he rarely ended well. He never gave up though. His Ma didn’t raise him to ignore the wrong doings in the world. Bucky swung his arm round his shoulder and ruffled his hair. It was like he’d never been away. Bucky caught sight of the abandoned piece of paper on the ground and rolled his eyes. He picked it up in one swift movement. Steve flushed slightly as his friend glanced over the writing. 

‘How many times is this?’ Steve just glared fiercely up at him. It wasn’t fair to judge him. Bucky had his chance to do something good. Steve just wanted his chance. He was going to fight or go to prison trying. It was the right thing to do.

‘Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, _Jersey_?’ _Everything is legal in New Jersey._ Steve thought with a chuckle. 

‘You get your orders?’ He tried to change the subject away from him. He didn’t want to have this argument again. 

‘The one-o-seventh. Sergeant James Barnes. Shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.’ Bucky gave him a lopsided grin and a salute. Steve felt his stomach twist. The 107th. That was his dad’s unit before he died. He wondered if he’d ever told Bucky that. Sergeant Barnes. Bucky must have gone above and beyond in training to make it straight to Sergeant. Not that Steve expected any less. Bucky was always the best at everything he did. Steve was always in his shadow. 

‘I should be going.’ He didn’t think he could face Bucky right now. He had everything that Steve wanted right down to the 107th. All he ever wanted to do is make his dad proud. Bucky pulled him into a sideways hug. Steve couldn’t help but lean into his friends side. He never could stay mad at Buck for long. 

‘Come on, man. My last night! Gotta get you cleaned up.’ Either Bucky was putting on a brave face or the training weeks had really changed his perspective on the war. He’d not seen Bucky this light hearted since the first letter had arrived. He hoped they weren’t going dancing. He hated dancing. Bucky always left Steve for a doll in a uniform.

‘Why? Where are we going?’ He eyed his friend suspiciously, hoping that he just wanted to catch a movie or go for one of their walks along the Hudson. Bucky pulled out a newspaper from his jacket pocket and thrust it into Steve’s sightline. A picture of a globe was on the front cover, “Expo" shone brightly even in the black and white pictures. Steve glanced up at his friend and he could see the excitement gleaming in his eyes.

‘The future’ Bucky said with grin. Steve laughed and let himself be dragged out the alley by his best guy. They could pretend for just tonight that they had the rest of their lives.

* * *

Bucky had thought about getting a couple of girls for him and Steve to take to the Expo but he missed his friend desperately. Training had actually been quite fun. He’d made some pretty great friends, it had been like family. Bucky had always read his letters from home away from the others though. He’d only been gone a few weeks but Steve wrote him at least once a week. He often included sketches of Brooklyn, or characters from Film posters that he was missing out on. Steve even sent a couple of sketches of him in uniform. It was far more flattering that he actually looked but he was hardly gonna complain. He loved that Steve saw him as better than he was. The other guys on camp were showing off pictures of their girls back home like there was no tomorrow. Bucky put on a good show of lamenting that he had no skirt waiting for him back in Brooklyn. Thankfully they all fell for it. The golden eyed man plagued Bucky’s dreams. He had visions of Steve turning up to base with his Captain’s stripes, looking prouder than the Empire State building, only to get the shit beat out of him by Nazis that stormed the camp. So whilst he knew getting a couple of girls on their arm would be safer. He decided to throw caution to the wind. They’d just be a couple of fellas interested in whatever latest invention Howard Stark had to offer. 

They wandered round taking in the sights. It had Howard Stark written all over it; literally. His name was in flashing lights. There were fireworks and the hum of buzzing machinery all around them. Poster’s of good ole Uncle Sam asking them to enlist were plastered everywhere. They visited a couple of small pop up movie theatres which had flickering black and white frames of their guys going to war. They looked in awe at some of the latest gear Stark had to offer. The rifles looked as if a human was designed to hold them, not the other way round. Bucky might not like the war but he had to hand it to Stark; the guy was a genius. 

Steve stood half a foot behind him as they waited for the main event, Howard Starks big reveal. There were dancing girls in star spangled stripes and fireworks going off at every angle as Howard made his way onto the stage. The man just didn’t know the meaning of subtlety. Bucky couldn’t help but be transfixed by what happened next. A deep red car span around on the stage as Howard announced his big plan for the future. The wheels dropped off to reveal, what Bucky could only describe as small engines, and the everyone around jumped as bursts of smoke and heat emanated from the stage. The car began to fly. It was only a few seconds but Bucky thought he might wanna marry Stark himself. Even as the car came crashing back down and Howard made a quip about it still being a few years off, Bucky couldn’t take his eyes off the stage. The man was a magician with technology. It was truly incredible. He turned around to share his excitement with his best friend. 

Only there was a Steve sized space just behind him.

‘Steve?’  Bucky spun around making sure his friend hadn’t been lost in the crowd. One of the nearby girls caught his eye and smiled flirtatiously. Bucky gave her a quick wink before he noticed the poster behind her. It was an arrow pointing to the enlistment booth. _Fuck sake Stevie!_

‘It’s his choice sergeant’ The voice that was now becoming all to familiar called from behind him. Bucky was a breath away from socking him on the jar. 

‘The fuck? Are you stalking me?’ Bucky had no patience for the old man. He had to stop Steve from getting arrested for lying yet again on his damn enlistment form. It must have been his fifth time by now. He stormed towards the enlistment booth but he heard the heavy footsteps behind him. ’I guess you were right.’ He added not bothering to look round at the man following him. ’I am a soldier. Thought i’d dreamt you up’ The low chuckle echoed behind him for that one. 

‘I’m sorry for confusing you Sergeant. We all have our missions and this one is mine and mine alone’ One day this odd stranger would start to make sense. The only mission Bucky had was to stop Steve from landing his stupid ass in jail.

‘Your mission is to stalk me’ Bucky muttered his breath. He rounded the corner and realised he completely lost. Stupid Stark and his oversized Expo. Couldn’t have left a handy map around anywhere.

‘My mission is to help you and the captain’ Again with the Captain nonsense. He spun around and faced the taller man. Why was he even here?

‘I still don’t know any captain. Not one worth caring about.’ The only Captain he knew was the arsehole that led his training. The guy didn’t care for anything other than kill counts and punching Hitler in the face. He man’s eyes twinkled with amusement. Bucky opened his mouth to argue again when he was interrupted.

‘Aren’t you going to look for Steve?’ Bucky just gaped up at him. One moment he’s trailing him like a lost puppy and distracting Bucky and the next he’s laughing at him because he got lost in the maze. This guy was a complete enigma.

‘I was. Don’t suppose you know the way?’ Bucky knew when he was beat. Unlike his idiot friend. Thankfully the dark haired man silently pointed Bucky in the right direction and stepped out of his way. ‘Thanks.’ He muttered as he ran towards his friend.

* * *

Steve gazed at his reflection as he stepped up to the mirror. His eyes barely reached the face hole in the painted glass. Apparently you had to be a certain height to join the army, like some fucking fair ground ride. No one was ever gonna give him a chance and he sure was angry. They wanted him to shovel dirt whilst people risked their lives. He thought about ways he could hide his ailments from the doctor. It wasn’t easy to hide your heartbeat from a cold stethoscope though. Maybe if he concentrated hard enough the beat wouldn’t skip as much. 

‘You’re never gonna give up are you?’ A strong hand rested on his shoulder. Steve closed his eyes trying not to recoil from the touch. They had already been over this so many times. Why couldn’t Sergeant Barnes understand that he needed this? He needed to help protect his country. Bucky turned him around and pulled him off the step in front of the mirror. Worry painted his friends piercing blue eyes but Steve thought he looked almost like he’d given up. 

‘I can’t Buck. You know that.’ He shimmied away from the hand on his shoulder ‘Anyway it’s a fair. I might as well try my luck.’ Maybe a joke would stop the argument. He tried his best to give his friend a genuine smile but even to him it felt forced. Bucky just shook his head a took a step back, the distance between them cut into Steve like a knife.

‘As who? Steve from Ohio?’ Bucky’s raised in exasperation. The words hung in the hair. Steve struggled to find a response but Bucky’s eyes softened. He smiled apologetically. ‘They’re gonna catch you Stevie?’ Bucky pleaded with him but Steve stood his ground. He wasn’t gonna let Bucky win this one with his stupid eyes and stupid pout. 

‘Look I know you don’t think I can do this but I gotta try.’ Bucky closed his eyes and sighed. 

‘It’s his choice.’ He said faintly as if he was remembering something. Steve’s eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement but Bucky snapped out of the memory.  ‘ I know… Stevie. I know. I just don’t wanna see you get hurt. I don’t want to come back to an empty apartment in this big old city. I need my best guy!’ Bucky’s arms suddenly wrapped around him. He froze for a moment unsure how to react. They were never this close in public. Bucky always kept a careful distance between them but before Steve could process what was going on Bucky pulled away. Steve suddenly felt  chill in his bones as if he’d never known heat before that moment. 

‘Bucky, come on!’ His voice came out quieter than he intended, still shaken by the sudden contact with his friends. He had meant to sound strong like a soldier but it came out like a desperate plea.  ‘There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That’s what you don’t understand. This isn’t about me and this isn’t about you.’ That was a lie. Everything was about Bucky to him but it shouldn’t be and he wasn’t about to show that weakness. Soldiers didn’t have weakness. They fought for the good side, no matter what the price. The last trace of Bucky’s smile faded away as he turned away from his friend. He began to make his way back towards the Expo and Steve’s heart ached knowing he was leaving so disappointed in him. He resisted the urge to chase after his friend. 

‘Just make sure you’re alive when I come back. Punk.’ Bucky called over his shoulder. 

‘Jerk.’ Steve answered automatically. ‘You be careful. Don’t win the war until I get there’ He added as an after thought. To his surprise Bucky spun back around to face him. His eyes shining but puzzled. 

'You’re so sure you’ll get there’ It wasn’t a question but Steve answered anyway.

'Well a strange man said I was a Captain so that’s gotta mean something’ Bucky chuckled at that. He had a peculiar look in his eyes like he knew exactly who Steve was talking about. 

‘Well I’ve been following you into fights for years so I guess he’s not wrong.’ He quipped back with a smirk and Steve felt the tension between them melt away. It was like he’d been holding his breath the whole time and he finally was able to let go. 

‘Rogers’ A new voice cut through their conversation. The accent was European maybe even German which Steve thought was bit odd. Although he guessed not all Germans were Nazi bullies. A small round faced man with spectacles was at the doorway. Steve assumed he was the doctor as he was holding a clipboard. 

‘Sir?’ He was proud that his voice didn’t even shake this time. He’d been practicing his soldier voice in the bathroom at home. He saw Bucky roll his eyes but elected to ignore him.

‘You’re next Steven’ The doctor instructed kindly. Steve nodded and started to make his way into the room. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked back at his friend for what was probably gonna be the last time in a long while. 

‘Don’t do anything Stupid until I get back.’ Bucky’s voice was unnaturally still. All signs of jest that had previously lit their conversation had faded. Bucky was being deadly serious. Steve didn’t quite know how to answer so he responded with humour as he did most days. It was the only way he knew how to handle serious conversations. 

‘How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you?’ Bucky smiled sadly and then saluted the doctor before heading back to the flashing lights and buzz of the Stark Expo. Steve watched him go, wondering when he would next see Bucky again, before following the doctor into his room.

The doctor introduced himself as Doctor Abraham Erskine whilst he studied Steve’s paper work. Steve couldn’t quite hide the shiver as the cold metal pressed against his chest as Erskine listened to his heart. Steve stood tall as he could when the doctor took his height measurements and he kept his eyes on the Erskine as he started examining his notes carefully on the clipboard. After what seemed like forever Erskine finally looked up, he pushed his glasses up his nose and gave Steve a final look of appraisal.

‘So Steven. You want to go and kill some Nazis?’ Erskine’s voice startled Steve after such a long silence. 

‘What?’ What sort of question was that, kill some Nazis? 

‘You want to go to war and kill some nazis?’ Steve stammered trying to respond but no words came out. He was floored by the bluntness of the question. Luckily for him Erskine changed the subject.  ‘How many times have you tried now? Steve from Ohio? or is it… New Haven?’ Or not so Lucky, still he decided that he might as well fess up. No use lying now he’d been found out. He looked the doctor straight in the eye as his final act of defiance whilst he gave his answer.

‘Brooklyn sir.’ The doctor nodded at that as if he already knew the truth. He didn’t immediately jump to arrest Steve so he returned the question. He was curious about the doctor’s strange accent. ’Where are you from? If you don’t mind me asking?’ Erskine chuckled and put his clipboard down on the table. 

‘Queens, but that’s not what you’re asking is it?’ Erskine tilted his head to the side and smiled in amusement as Steve flushed in embarrassment at being called out. 

‘No sir, I didn’t mean…’ He started, flustered, but the doctor just held up his hand and cut Steve off. 

‘Germany. Does that bother you Steven?’ Steve paused to consider the question. His first answer was to deny it vehemently but even in his head that sounded too defensive. _Maybe a quick ‘No sir!’ would be more appropriate._ That still didn’t sound right, too standardised like he was saying what was expected of him. He took a deep breath and said what he felt was true to him.

‘I don’t believe that where we are from defines us.’ Steve felt in his heart that was his truth. Steve didn’t think who people were defined them, not negatively at least. It was actions that showed their true colours not identity. Steve studied Erskine’s face as he contemplated Steve’s answer. Slowly a smile spread across his face. 

‘That’s wise for someone so young.’ Steve’s chest swelled with pride as the German beamed at him. He has kind eyes Steve’s noticed. Hell if this guy was anything to go by then he felt sorry for the Germans. He guessed that they weren’t all Nazis after all.  ‘But you didn’t answer my question?’ Erskine pushed gently. Steve grimaced. He knew a test when he saw one. This examination was different to the others he felt like he was actually given a chance. He chose to answer from his heart again. It seemed to work the first time. 

‘I don’t wanna kill anyone, but I don’t like bullies.’ He spoke steadily.'No matter where they come from.’ He added. He was rewarded with a low chuckle from the Doctor who nodded in approval.

Erskine picked up his clipboard. Steve saw that it had all his previous enlistment forms attached and he felt the blood flood to his cheeks. Erskine had known the entire time and never even thought to call the police. Unless they were waiting outside to arrest him. Steve’s heart was pounding in his chest and he was visibly shaking with nervous energy. He felt his breathing become heavy and a few wheezes escaped with each breath. He prayed to God that Erskine didn’t mind it. Erskine pulled the bottom sheet to the top of the clip board. It was his first from. His enlistment form from Brooklyn. Erskine’s eyes shone from behind his glasses and Steve let himself hope for first time since Bucky got drafted .’Well Steven from Brooklyn. I think you might be just the man I’ve been looking for.’ and with that the Doctor stamped the form and passed the paper to him. Steve had to blink a couple of times to believe what he was seeing. He kept thinking the ink was going to rearrange itself into the failed stamp below but it never did. He’d fucking done it. He stared in disbelief at the German. 

‘What about my asthma?’ His voice cracked at his spoke, unsure of his change in luck, but the doctor just shook his head with a smile.

‘Not important to me Steven. I can only give you a chance. This might not work’ Steve almost wanted to hug the man. He couldn’t hold back the jubilant laugh that escaped his lips.

‘A chance is more than I’ve had so far sir. Thank you doctor.’ He grasped the doctor’s hand and shook it in deep gratitude beaming from ear to ear.

‘Congratulations Soldier’ Erskine replied with a wink.

* * *

Training was damn tough. Steve had expected this but it didn’t make it any easier. He buried his head in his pillow every night to muffle the sobs that carried him to sleep. He missed Bucky like no tomorrow and his entire body ache. He was always last in every damn exercise they had and the other cadets held nothing back when they were on the field out of earshot of their commander officer. He had been called every name under the sun. He’d hardened to it over the years but once he met Bucky he had always had someone to turn to and to have his back when things got tough. Twice in the first day he’d been taken to the infirmary with asthma attacks. He’d been pulled out of the lake when his chest started screaming in pain. He had to spend more than one night under the nurses supervision when his body had given up. Every time he begged them to let him stay, he begged them not to send him home. He owed it to his country to fight. He owed it to every damn soldier who had lost their lives trying to stop Hitler from committing mass murder. He never cried in front of anyone. He couldn’t let them see how much it hurt but not even he was stubborn enough to keep the tears at bay when the night fell. He always woke up with puffy and red eyes but it was nothing a splash of cold water couldn’t fix. Erskine always watched from the side. He spoke in whispers with their Captain and smiled at Steve when he caught his eye across the field. Steve knew the only reason he wasn’t home in Brooklyn was because of the doctor. 

The only good thing to come out of the ordeal was Agent Peggy Carter. She was brilliant and beautiful. She laughed with Steve when he dropped the flag pole to the ground. They joked about his experiences growing up with a moral compass and a tiny body. She often berated him for never running away but she actually seemed impressed. Steve thought he might actually fancy her a little but he knew she saw him as a friend and colleague, all the girls did. That was if they ever noticed he existed to begin with. 

That night he’d woken with a start from a nightmare. They’d been running through the forest in Europe when a grenade had flown through the sky. Everyone in his unit had run. He’d tried to run but his legs didn’t move. He just stared at the small round object on the dirt track. In slow motion it had started to explode. Steve watched the cracks appear in the shell and bright orange fire begin to flicker out into the air. Steve wanted to scream but his body was thrown towards the grenade whilst everyone else ran. His small frame covering the flaming shell. He looked up at his fellow soldiers peaking out from behind the bushes. He saw Bucky standing over him. He eyes were grey and full of disappointment. 

‘I told you to stay alive til I got back Stevie. Why do you never fucking listen?’ His voice was cold and dead. Steve wanted to say he was sorry. He wanted to run away he really did but he never could. Why couldn’t Bucky understand that? His voice was stuck in his throat though. Tears streamed down his face. Bucky faded away into dust and Steve screamed as the grenade finally exploded underneath him.

And then he woke up. His body was drenched with sweat, his pillow damp from the tears and the other Soldiers were laughing at him.

‘Bucky no!’ They all laughed and took turns at mocking him. 

‘Who’s Bucky? You fairy!’ Steve wanted to punch the lot of him but he couldn’t even catch his breath. He knocked over the water by his bedside desperately trying to grab the glass and it shattered.

‘That’s enough!’ Agent Carter shouted from the doorway. In one swift movement she had pulled Steve out of the room and towards the infirmary. Eventually, with the nurses help, he was able to catch his breath. Peggy stayed with him on his cot in the infirmary whilst the nurse did some final checks. He couldn’t even bring himself to look at her. He didn’t need her come in and fight his fight. He was a soldier and he could defend himself. 

Except he couldn’t. He never could and people got hurt because of it. How many times had he had to help patch Bucky up after a fight because he couldn’t keep his nose out of other people’s business. He had no idea why they were even friends with him. Now Peggy was gonna get shit from the other cadets for sticking up for him. He hugged his knees to his chest and sighed.

‘I don’t know Peggy. Why am I here?’ His voice was smaller than him. Why did he even bother? Peggy just took his hand in hers. He didn’t have the energy to pull away any more. The warmth felt nice for a change. Her voice was soft and full of kindness when she replied.

‘Doctor Erskine insisted you were the best.’ He shook his head at that. He wasn’t the best. Unless the worst was the new best. He’d win that medal a thousand times over. ‘You did agree to this Steve’ Steve couldn’t believe how much she seemed to understand him. She wasn’t telling him to stop. She was just making sure he knew he had the choice. 

‘I know. Just some last minute nerves.’ Steve was only half convinced he wasn’t lying. He was definitely nervous but no one knew what was going to happen in the morning. Not even Erskine could say for sure and Steve just hoped he would survive long enough to see Bucky again. He made him a promise after all.

‘There’s still time to pull out’ She said quietly. Steve shook his head. They both knew that wasn’t really true. 

‘You know I can’t do that Peggy. This is my chance. I’ve only got one shot.’ He knew that finally he’d be able to make a difference. To have that within his grasp and then give it up willingly was something he would never be able to do. People would kill for the chance Erskine was giving him. He remembered his conversation with the doctor earlier that evening. The story of the german soldier who had taken Erskine’s gift and used it for hate. Now Steve had a chance to use it for love. Erskine had said he was a good man and he was gonna do his damn hardest to live up to that and make sure the doctor didn’t regret his choice. 

‘You have to be sure Steve.’ Peggy gave his hand a final pat before letting go. ‘I’m sure that girl of yours will never forgive me if you didn’t survive this.’ She smiled at him. He could tell she was trying to change the subject and cheer him up, only Steve had no idea who she was talking about. 

‘What girl of mine?’ Steve asked with a laugh. As if he would have a girl back home. Couldn’t Peggy see he was not worth any girl?

‘Don’t try to fool me Rogers. I’ve seen your face when you get your letters from abroad’ She nudged him playfully. Her hair was coming loose and a strand fell down in front of her face. Steve was momentarily distracted by the shadow the curl cast on her face. She really was beautiful. Even though he’d woken her up in the middle of the night she still outshone any girl he’d ever met. 

‘I don’t have a girl Pegs’ He replied softly. The nickname slipped out by mistake and he blushed redder than the lipstick she normally wore during the day.

‘I know what love looks like Steve.’ Her voice was quiet and her brown eyes were boring into his blue one. He felt warmth in his chest as he held her gaze. He blinked and for a moment her brown eyes turned blue, her long curls shorted to a coppery brown mop of hair and his best friend was suddenly staring back at him. He blinked twice heavily and Peggy’s face came back into view. He let out a deep breath and lowered his gaze. He stared at his hands, they were covered in scratches and there was dirty underneath his nails from dragging his body through the mud. 

‘He’s just a friend’ He heard himself say. He closed his eyes tightly. He knew what the implication behind those words were. He knew what it sounded like. He just hoped Peggy would keep his secret. He trusted her but it scared him to even begin to say it out loud. He could have said “she” but he was tired of hiding. At least he wasn’t admitting anything explicitly. 

‘Oh. Steve. I’m sorry I didn’t know. I didn’t mean anything.’ Her voice sounded genuinely sorry and he risked glancing at her. There was nothing but understanding in her eyes. He took a deep breath and continued his confession to the next step. His face felt like it was on fire and he wanted to ground to open beneath him so he could hide in peace. 

‘It’s alright. You’re.. umm… well you’re not exactly wrong but i’m not… you know. I like girls. It’s just… girls don’t exactly like guys like me.’ Peggy took his hand again and leaned in next to him. He couldn’t believe his luck. Peggy Carter was the second angel he’d met in his lifetime.

‘You’ve just not been looking at the right girls. You have a good heart Rogers. It what Erskine sees in you. It’s what I see in you too.’ Steve shrugged. People kept telling him that. Maybe one of these days he’ll be good enough to believe them. 

“I should probably get some rest Pegs, I’ve got a tough day ahead tomorrow.’ He was  starting to feel tired now the shock of his nightmare had faded. The nurse had said he could spend the night in the infirmary rather than go back to his bunk. He took the offer gladly, it meant he could at least sleep for one last night without having to watch his back. Peggy nodded. Steve noticed that she too was starting to look tired. 

‘You promise to tell me all about this boy of yours?’ Peggy quipped wearily. She smirked at him and Steve laughed. 

‘If I survive this thing. I tell you about him. I promise.’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Heimdall is finally starting to interact with the boys now. He's trying to push them on a different path. The further we get with this the less it'll read like a rewrite of the films but in the early stages not much has changed. There are certain plot points that I've set in stone. Others are more flexible. Either way I hope you're enjoying it. I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this. Come find me on tumblr at Avengersbarnes :)


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So chapter 3... I really enjoyed writing the 107th scenes and it was fun to write something outside of the film but I really couldn't ignore the super soldier procedure and I just wanted an excuse to watch Peggy and Steve interact. There's quite a lot of war and fighting in this one. I'm considering adding violence warning to this so let me know if you think it needs it. Steve has anxiety and Bucky misses home a lot. I've taken some dialogue from the film again which I don't own but the interpretation is mine. Anyway enjoy!

Bucky watched as the flames licked the wood. The crackling and spitting of the fire had become a sound of comfort to him over the weeks abroad. He was sat with his friends from the unit as they ate dinner. He had a thin sheet of paper in his hands. He’d read the letter twice already, his fingers traced the delicate sketches on the back of the paper. Steve always included a couple of sketches if he had space. His letters had been vague recently and Bucky was worried. His friend was hiding something from him. Bucky thought it probably had something to do with that doctor from the Expo but Steve had never mentioned anything. He seemed tired though. Bucky was worried that his friend was sick again. Steve always got sick but now Bucky wasn’t around to help him.

The tents were pitched up and the air was cool in the depths of the forest. Bucky found the campfire mesmerising and often sat in silence watching the flames dance whilst the others joked about. Most of the time they let him brood whilst he read his letters but tonight they decided that Bucky’s love life was more interesting the war going on around them.

‘Hey Sarge, when you gonna show us a picture of that girl of yours?’ Sergeant Timothy Dugan, one of Bucky’s first friends in the army and total pain in his ass. He made a grab for the letter Bucky was reading but Bucky was faster.

‘Lay off Dugan. She’s too good for any of you’ He shot back a glare. They assumed early on that Bucky had a girlfriend. Bucky knew it was easier than trying to explain Steve to them so he just rolled with it. He almost used the wrong pronouns far too many times but he always managed to catch himself and he never referred to Steve by name. They were starting to get suspicious though. Bucky ran his free hand through his hair before putting the letter back in his jacket pocket.

‘That’s funny Barnes, we were starting to think she’s too fake for any of us’ Private Gabe Jones quipped. Bucky scowled at him. What was this, pick on James Barnes day?

‘And what’s that supposed to mean Private?’ Bucky did not enjoy pulling rank but it had it’s uses and he was done with this conversation. They were pushing his buttons on purpose and he was not enjoying it. He missed Steve and he missed home. He hated this stupid ass forest and their stupid ass mission.

‘It means that unless you show us a picture we’re taking a vote that she doesn’t exist’ Morita smirked as he joined the conversation. They’d obviously planned this sudden interrogation. It was three on one and Bucky was not impressed.

‘You’re out of line Private. She exists and it’s none of your damn business.’ Bucky snapped. He knew his friends were just teasing but they didn’t understand. He couldn’t love Steve like they loved their girls. Dugan had a wife and kids, he was privileged that he could show off the pictures and talk about his angel like there was no tomorrow. Bucky just had Steve, his friend, and even if they could be more Bucky would never be able to tell anyone.

‘You’re blushing Sarge’ Dum Dum punched him in the arm. The others laughed and Bucky felt his cheeks get even warmer.

‘I am not!’ _Lies!_

‘Maybe she is real after all’ Morita muttered thoughtfully. Bucky just shot him a glare across the fireplace.

‘He does get letters…’ Suddenly the letter in his jacket pocket felt very heavy. They were getting too close. _Damn it!_ He swore to himself, why couldn’t Steve think to said pictures of some of the girls in Brooklyn. This conversation would not be happening.

‘And yet we’ve never seen a picture. Why not Sarge?’ Dum Dum poked his chest and grinned at him. Why were these guys even his friends? He did not sign up for this. Hell he didn’t sign up at all.

‘You could at least tell us her name.’ Jones tilted his head questioningly. They were never gonna let up.

‘Steve…’ Bucky blurted out without thinking. He smacked his hand over his mouth to stop anymore words coming out but it was too late. The damage was done. Silence fell across their group. The fire crackling was the only sound whilst they all processed what he said. Bucky wanted to run back to his tent but it was too late now.

‘What?’Jim was the first to break the silence. His voice was little more than a whisper.

‘His name is Steve.’ Nervously his fingers found themselves entangled in his hair again. He face was probably the colour of a tomato. He was too far gone now though. ‘He’s not my girl. He’s just a friend’ He added the last bit as an after thought. It wasn’t technically a lie but it sounded wrong when he said it out loud.

‘Bullshit Sarge.’ Dum Dum almost shouted. Bucky closed his eyes tightly. Maybe this was all a dream. Were you even allowed to be gay in the army? If he told the Colonel they might send him home, to Steve. He sighed. No, that wasn’t an option. He could get killed for it.

‘We’re friends. That’s all. Now get some sleep we’ve got a tough day tomorrow.’ He hoped they actually listened to the order. They did need sleep. They were going to storm a Nazi camp tomorrow and he was starting to feel tired.

‘With all due respect Barnes. We’ve seen your face when you talk about Steve.’ Jones’ voice was quieter than Dugan’s. Bucky glanced up at him. The man was smiling at him.

‘and when you get letters.’ Jim smirked at him. They didn’t care. None of them gave a damn that he might be in love with a man. Bucky didn’t quite know how to process that information. He’d been hiding it for so long. His eyes were starting to feel heavy and he didn’t want to risk the Colonel finding out so he tried again to finish the conversation.

‘I don’t want to talk about it. Go to bed. That’s an order Private!’ His outburst was met by ‘Yes sir!’ from the two privates. They looked pissed off but they made their way to their tent. Dugan stood his ground though. His face was like thunder. _Damn it!_

‘You can’t order me, Barnes.’ Dum dum. His voice was quiet. Bucky felt a twinge of guilt. He never pulled rank on his friends outside of missions but they had really pushed him tonight and he was so god damn tired. He placed a hand on Dugan’s shoulder; willing him to understand.

‘Please Dum Dum, I can’t talk about it.’ His voice was pathetically pleading but for once Bucky didn’t care. ‘I don’t want Steve getting hurt because of me.’ To his surprise Dum Dum actually smiled. He nodded and pulled Bucky into a hug.

‘I won’t say another word.’ He said the words into Bucky’s ear.‘If you show me a picture. I know you have one’ He pulled away with a smirk.

“God damn it Dugan! Fine!’ Bucky laughed as he reached for the small picture he kept in the breast pocket of his jacket.

* * *

‘It fucking hurts!’ Bucky felt like his world was on fire. 

One moment he’d been shooting out the enemy from a tree like he always did. He was a damn good sniper and they’d never had a hitch in their mission yet. Then he saw the bullet flying towards Dugan below him. You can’t snipe a bullet so he jumped. Dugan broke his fall and he managed to push him out the way of the bullet but there was a fucking cost. The bullet had imbedding itself deep into his thigh. They do not prepare you enough for the pain of getting shot. He’d screamed in agony and crumpled on the floor in pain. He vaguely remembered Dugan cursing and dragging them both out of the line of fire. So here they were cowering behind a tree with blood seeping through Bucky’s uniform. Dugan had managed to tie a scrap of cloth from his shirt around the wound to help with the bleeding but Jesus Christ it hurt!

‘You’re lucky it didn’t hit anything major Sarge. Now stop complaining and we’ll get you to a medic’ Dum Dum was a piece of shit.

‘Stop complaining? Stop complaining?!’ He threw his arms up in frustration. ‘I just saved your life you shit!’ He should have just let him get hit. Then they’d see who was complaining. Bucky was not in the mood for Dum Dum’s humour right now.

‘I saw it coming. I just thought you needed a chance to be heroic’ _Fuck you Dugan! I’ll give you fucking Heroic._ Bucky gave him a hefty shove to the chest and glared at his friend.

‘Oh yeah sure that’s why you didn’t dodge the damn bullet’ Dum Dum laughed and shook his head. His hands were pressed over the bloody patch on his uniform but his voice was joking. Bucky had to give him some credit for trying to distract him from the shooting pain in his leg.

‘You were stuck up in the trees the whole battle. I thought you needed some down time’ If it were any other time Bucky might have laughed but having a hole in your leg kinda put a damper on your sense of humour.

‘I’m a fucking sniper. I like the trees!’ Dum Dum managed to radio for a medic, the pair of them started to retreat from the fight. Bucky was limping badly but his friend was supporting most of his weight.‘Now someone get this damn bullet out of my leg before I kill the son of a bitch who shot me’ Dugan chuckled as they made their way through the trees.

‘Now Now Sarge. What would dear old Stephanie say if she heard you cussing like that?’ His three friends had taken to calling Steve “Stephanie” so he could actually talk about his friend without coming out to the other soldiers. He hated it at first but he was grateful that he finally had friends he didn’t need to hide from anymore.

‘Stephanie… oh she would be already half way to Germany by now and one of your sorry asses would have to go get her back for me.’ He could just picture Steve’s face if he found out Bucky had been shot. The stupid ass would have absolutely no regrets about heading straight into enemy territory if it meant taking revenge on the guys who were shooting at them.

‘Seriously? She’s tiny?’ They still didn’t believe him when he said that it was Steve that had started most the fights they’d gotten into. No one believed him when he said Steve had literally no self preservation and was determined to fight every bully in Brooklyn.

‘Tell me about it.’ Bucky laughed bitterly as his leg throbbed in pain. He was so small. Bucky worried about him; constantly.

* * *

 

Bucky stared down his sniper rifle to the scene below. There were German soldiers as far as the eyes could see. They had some fucking impressive weapons too. You got hit once by those things and you were dust. There were American soldiers falling down left, right and centre. He was doing the best he could to take them out from a distance but he was only one sniper to a hundred Nazis with super tech guns. His friends were holding their own but he could see they were starting to get tired. He signalled to the other snipers location and then jumped down to the ground. He landed next Private Jones who was at the end of a hydra barrel. The look of terror in his eyes was something Bucky would never forget.

’Hail Hydra!’ The german soldier yelled before pulling the trigger. Bucky’s heart stopped but there was no flash of blue light. The gun had malfunctioned. Jones would survive out of sheer luck. Bucky was furious that he almost lost his friend. He saw red and attacked the German without thinking.

‘Hail this you fucking piece of shit’ Bucky grabbed his knife from his belt and plunged it deep into the soldier’s heart. Bucky twisted it until he heard the Nazi choke out his last breath as the blood pooled onto the ground. Bucky took a shaky breath and wiped his knife clean on the grass whilst he focused on returning his heart beat to normal.

‘Thanks Sarge!’ Gabe whispered cutting through the tension in the air. Bucky very rarely fought on the ground so most of the soldier in his unit had never seen him kill a man up close. Bucky hated how it made him feel but it was a necessary evil of war. He needed to survive and he needed his friends to support him through this hellish nightmare. A blue flash darted passed them and hit a near by tree. Bucky spun round and hit the soldier square in the chest with a bullet.

‘Eyes ahead Private!’ He barked the order. Gabe instantly kicked back into gear and shook off the shock of almost getting killed. ‘There’s more Nazis in these woods than hotdogs in Brooklyn’ He hoped the joke might lighten the mood slightly. Gabe saluted him with a half-hearted smile.

‘Aye aye. Sarge.’ Bucky saluted back in respect and reloaded his gun.

‘Oh and Jones?’ Bucky’s eyes were locked onto the Private.

‘Yes Sir?’

‘Try not to get yourself killed?’ _Please God let him survive this._ Gabe nodded an ran off to the protection of the trees further back. Bucky spun around taking in the situation. It wasn’t often he saw the fight from the ground. It was difficult to get his bearings from this angle. He spotted Dum Dum not too far away surrounded by Nazi soldiers. Bucky ran over to the Sergeant taking out as many soldier as he could but he was running low on supplies and this was not a knife fight. The situation was starting to feel helpless.

‘Barnes there’s too many! We’re gonna get massacred!’ Dum Dum yelled across as he put a bullet between a German’s eyes. Bucky didn’t even flinch. They’d grown too used to the scent of death and blood on the battle field. It would come back and haunt him in his dreams later on. He looked around to see if their commanding officer was in sight. He spotted the man briefly taking on some Nazi’s a few yards away. Bucky sighed. If the captain was still fighting then it wasn’t time to retreat just yet.

‘We’ve got orders Dugan. If we’re gonna die today then make damn sure you take the Nazi scum with you!’ And with that he spun round and slit one of the enemies throat. His team were doing well but Bucky couldn’t help but notice that just as many American soldiers were dying as German. The fight was a stalemate and Bucky couldn’t help but wonder how many German families he’d torn apart today by killing these men. It was something they were trained not to think about but you’d have to be a monster not to see the fear in the eyes of these men that they were fighting. It was the same look Jones had had just before Bucky slaughtered his would be killer. The thought made Bucky feel sick and he had to push back the nausea that flooded over him. He glanced over at Dum Dum who had his back. He looked exhausted and was splattered in blood and dirt. His helmet had been knocked off at some point in the battle and he looked ready to give up but his eyes were determined. He gave Bucky a quite salute.

‘It’s been an honour Sergeant Barnes.’ Bucky nodded grimly

‘You too Sergeant Dugan. I’ll see you on the other side’

* * *

Steve felt restless as he watched the city go pass. He was absentmindedly tugging at the ends of his shirt. The sleeves were always too big for him and he’d developed a bit of a habit of wearing holes in the fabric of the cuffs. His oldest shirts all had thumbs holes in the cuffs of the sleeves and Steve loved it. It was comforting and warm but he was wearing one of best shirts today and the sleeves were only fraying slightly. He hadn’t slept very well after his nightmare and long chat with Peggy but he guessed that was to be expected. No one slept well before a life-changing operation. He wondered whether he should have told Bucky more about what was going on in his life but he hadn’t wanted to worry his friend whilst he was risking his life for their country. He glanced up out the window of the car. The familiar sights of Brooklyn were flying pass.

‘I know this neighbourhood.’ He said quietly. His voice was shaky and hoarse from his asthma attack the night before. ‘ I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner.’ He laughed at himself. He never really thought about how much trouble he’d gotten himself into over the years. He’d just faced each fight as it came and did his best to stand up against the bullies of the world. He turned to face Peggy who was staring at him in disbelief.

‘Did you have something against running away?’ She asked in concern. Steve chuckled at her expression. It was a question he’d been asked a thousand times so he didn’t even have to think about his answer. Him and Bucky had this conversation on almost a daily basis.

‘You start running they’ll never let you stop. You stand up, push back. Can’t say no forever, right?’ She smiled in understanding.

Steve couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked today. It was like she hadn’t been up half the night with him after his nightmare. Her hair was nearly flawless, apart from a few strands that had escape her clips and fell onto her cheekbone. Steve thought it was like magic how dames managed to create so many different and complicated styles with just a few pins. It made him damn glad he wasn’t a woman. He could barely brush his hair when it got too long. His arms got tired too quickly when it got all tangled up in the brush. Peggy blushed a little under his gaze. He hadn’t realised he was looking so intently and quickly looked back down at his hands.

‘I know a little of what that’s like.’ She muttered quietly ‘To have every door shut in your face.’ Peggy’s eyes stared off into the distance like she was trapped in some memory of the past. Steve felt his heart ache as he saw the haunted look fall across her face.

‘Why’d you join the army anyway? I can’t imagine it being the first choice for such a beautiful dame.’ The question was genuine but Steve regretted it almost instantly when her eyes flashed like fire towards him. He swallowed nervously realising his mistake.

‘I can’t imagine it being the first choice for such a tiny man either but here you are.’ Her voice was cold and unforgiving. Steve felt himself shrink back into his seat a little. He hadn’t meant to offend her. The army was a tough place to be and he thought Peggy was amazing and beautiful enough to do anything she wanted.

‘I didn’t mean… I mean.’ He felt his face flush with embarrassment as he stumbled over the words. Nothing seemed to be the right thing to say. ‘You’re a great agent.’ That was good. ‘Not just a beautiful dame…’ _Damn it Rogers_ ‘Woman. I mean.’God he was an idiot. Luckily Peggy had the sense and kindness to cut him off.

‘I didn’t want to end up like my mother.’ Peggy placed her hand over his and he felt his heart race a little faster ‘She was beautiful too. She was smart and fierce and she would have been a killer agent.’ She smiled sadly.

‘Like you’ Steve breathe quietly; not wanting to break the moment between them.

‘Yes, but my mother never had the guts to turn away from her family.’ Peggy murmured bitterly. Her chocolate brown eyes were filled with regret. ‘My grandmother found her a suitable young man to marry and she became a wife and mother. She was a wonderful person and I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood but she was always so bored. She could never speak her mind without my father shooting her down. She wasn’t happy and I swore to myself I wouldn’t do that so I joined the Army. My parents haven’t spoken to me since.’ Steve squeezed Peggy’s hand in reassurance. This woman was so brave in spite of everything that she had faced. He knew there weren’t enough words to say. How could there be after Peggy had just bared her soul like that? She truly was incredible.

‘I’m sorry Pegs’ And he was. Steve knew sorry wasn’t enough but he hoped she’d understand.

‘Don’t be. I have had more adventure in my life than anyone back in England thinks is possible for a woman. I’ve made a new life here in America.’ She paused as the car pulled to a stop outside an odd looking shop. She smiled brightly and pulled her hand away. ‘Ah here we are.’

Peggy pushed open the door and stepped out into the street. Steve followed suit and jumped out onto the grey pavement. He spun around to take in their surroundings. He’d been here before. It was still Brooklyn, a little further out than he normally went but Brooklyn all the same. Steve faced the shop in front of them. It was a musty old antiques shop that he’d never noticed before, probably because he couldn’t exactly afford the luxury of antiques. He looked at Peggy in puzzlement. The shop wasn’t exactly screaming top secret military facility.

‘An antiques shop?’ He questioned but she continued inside without answering his question. Maybe she needed to pick up something before the procedure. It wouldn’t surprise him if Howard Stark had set all this up as an elaborate prank. It seemed like something the crazy genius would do. He hung back whilst she pushed the door open. A bell chimed inside the shop.

‘This way’ Peggy said forcefully sensing his hesitation. He let out a deep breath and stepped forward.

‘What are we doing here?’ He tried asking again. None of this was making any sense. _Spies are confusing_

‘Follow me Steve.’ She spoke firmly and then smiled at him ‘It’ll make sense soon enough’ she added in a more gentle tone, her eyes sparkling playfully. She obviously found it hilarious how confused he was.

‘Wonderful weather this morning isn’t it?’ The shop owner said dully. Steve glanced out the shop window. The sky was grey and it was muggy outside. Wonderful was not the word he would have used to describe the weather. It was mediocre at best.

‘Yes, but I always carry an umbrella.’ Peggy chimed in response.

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion but apparently Peggy had said the correct thing as the shop keeper began to lead them to the back of the shop. Steve trotted behind as Peggy moved swiftly through the shop into a smaller room with a mirror. She turned to him with a smirk then pushed a lever on the shelf. The mirror moved aside to reveal a long metal corridor. There were Agents everywhere going about their business with clipboards and files, talking on phones and holding cups of coffee.

‘Holy Shit…’ Steve muttered under his breath. He heard Peggy chuckled next to him.

They made their way through the maze of corridors. Steve was in awe. How did no one realise this existed under the streets of Brooklyn? Many of the agents stopped and stared at them as they went passed. Steve blushed under the intense gazes. He’d never had anyone notice him like this before, let alone an entire military base of spies. He was beginning to wonder what he’d signed up for. Were they expecting him to be a spy because he really didn’t think he was cut out for that? Bucky always said he was an open book. He was terrible at keeping secrets. He felt his chest start to tighten and his breathing felt heavy and wheezing. _Fucking hell. Not now!_ He thought to himself. Now was not the time for a panic attack. He tried to focus on his breathing as Peggy led him down the corridors. He imagined being back at their small flat in Brooklyn with Bucky’s arms wrapped around his body. He imagined the warmth of Bucky’s muscular body against his and the sound of his voice in his ear as he coaxed him back to reality. He closed his eyes and tried to remember every inch of Bucky’s face, his strong jaw line, the bridge of his nose, his piercing blue eyes that reminded him of the winter’s sky, his lips pink and always slightly chapped. For just a moment he allowed himself to imagine the feel of those lips pressed against his own and he was finally able to let out the breath he’d been holding. 

Peggy was staring down at him, her eyes worried. He shook his head and muttered that he was fine. They’d stopped in front of a set of double doors. He knew that within the next room was the equipment that was going to change his life forever, hopefully for the better. With one final deep breath and the memory of Bucky’s eyes fresh in his mind they pushed through the doors. The room was filled with crazy equipment that looked like it had come out of a film. He noticed Howard Stark fiddling with some weird control panel over in the corner and an entire crew of people upstairs watching them from a glass box. He suppressed a shudder as he made his way towards the doctor.

‘Dr Erskine’ He greeted the older man, proud that his voice didn’t give away how nervous and sick he was feeling inside. The german smiled at him brightly as he looked up from his notes.

“Good Morning Steven.’ He extended his hand to Steve. Steve shook Erskine’s hand and was almost instantly blinded by the flash of cameras going off around him. He blinked a few times to try and get rid of the white spots in his vision. The doctor swatted the camera away ‘Not now! We’re about to create scientific history. I don’t need cameras buzzing around me like flies. Out!’ The cameras scattered and made their way up to the observation deck above them. Steve flashed Erskine a grateful smile. He was nervous enough without all the added pressure of the cameras. ‘Sorry about that. How are you feeling?’ Erskine asked gently. Steve never thought he’d feel so comforted by a german accent.

‘Ready as I’ll ever be doctor.’ Steve replied with a brave face. It was time for his chance. He would become a soldier and join Bucky in Europe.

‘Good. Now take off your shirt, your tie and your hat.’ Steve felt his face flush and he tugged anxiously at his sleeves. There were so many people watching and he did not exactly have a body that people wanted to look at. Erskine scowled at him ‘Don’t look at me like that Steven. Now is not the time to get shy.’ Steve chewed his lip and as his blush deepened. His face felt like it was on fire. He glanced up at the observation deck. He caught sight of a pair of golden eyes that he’d seen before. It was the tall dark man who had called him a captain.

‘Who’s that man?’ Steve questioned Erskine who followed Steve’s gaze to the glass booth.

‘I’m not sure. He had a press pass like the rest of them though so he’s allowed to observe.’ He answered quickly before looking back at his notes and scribbling something that Steve didn’t understand.

‘I know him..’ Steve breathed under his breath

‘Then why are you asking me Steven.’ Erskine answered irritably. Apparently he did not have patience for questions today. He bumped Steve on the head lightly with his clipboard. ‘Lets hope the serum helps your brain cells. Now in you get. Comfortable?’ Steve wriggled his toes and flexed his wrists. The straps were barely holding him in place. He felt like a puppet on strings.

‘It’s a little big.’ He admitted.

‘Phillips was convinced we’d use Hodge or a bigger soldier.’ Erskine looked apologetic. He’d seen how the other soldiers had treated Steve during training.

‘Any regrets?’ Steve knew why Erskine had chosen him but there was always going to doubt in his mind. He thought about how much stronger the other soldiers could have been and the good they could have done for the country. They were better than a scrappy kid from Brooklyn.

‘None at all. You ready Steven?’ The doctor put his hand on Steve’s shoulder and Steve smiled up at him.

‘Nervous. Don’t suppose you saved me any of the Schnapps?’ The doctor chuckled and Steve felt some of the tension leave his body.

‘Not as much as I should have. Maybe next time. How are your levels, Mr Stark?’ Steve glanced over to the mad scientist who had some kind of metal mask on his head. What on earth had he let himself into.

‘Levels at 100%’ Howard yelled bad across the lab. _This is it_ Steve thought. There was no going back now.

‘Good.’ Steve closed his eyes and tried not to overthink. He couldn’t quite block out the voices around him but it made him seem less like a crazy experiment. _It’s just a check up_ He told himself. His mum would be waiting in the next room with Bucky. _Everything is gonna be fine._

“We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn,’ He heard Howard’s voice over the sound of the machinery ‘but we are ready as we’ll ever be.’

‘Agent Carter?’ Steve’s eyes flew open. He’d almost forgotten she was there. Her brown eyes met his blue ones and she smiled fondly at him ‘Don’t you think you would be more comfortable in the booth?’ Steve wanted to protest but he knew she’d be safer away from the procedure. Still it would make him feel better if she was nearby.

‘Oh, yes. Of course. Sorry.’ She gave his hand a quick squeeze and then made her way upstairs. Steve felt an emptiness in his chest as he watched her go. Doctor Erskine picked up a microphone that had been resting on the table and address the onlookers in the booth upstairs.

‘Good. Do you hear me? is this on?’ He gave the microphone a quick tap which echoed around the chamber. He grinned and continued with his speech. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace. We begin with a series of micro injections into the subjects major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change. And then to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays.’ Steve groaned.

This was starting to feel like a real bad idea. He had no idea what half those words even meant but it sure did sound painful. He wouldn’t mind being a little taller though. As he spoke the lab assistants pushed metal pads on his chest and he saw vials of blue liquid being placed in the machine next to him. Doctor Erskine turned to him with a somber expression on his face and Steve didn’t feel comforted anymore. He closed his eyes and tried to control his breathing as he felt a needle press into his left arm. It stung a little but it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’d been expecting. He let out a sigh of relief.

‘That wasn’t so bad.’ His voice wasn’t shaking nearly as much as he thought it would.

‘That was penicillin.’ The doctor said apologetically. _Fuck_

‘Serum infusion beginning in five,’ More plates pressed against his biceps. His heart was racing.

‘four,’ Why couldn’t this count down just hurry up already?

three,’ Steve was fighting the urge to rip the machine off and run. Every cell in his body was saying this was a terrible idea

‘two,’ His breathing was heavy and he felt Erskine place a hand on his shoulder.

‘one.’ The sound of levers pushing echoed in the room and Steve saw the blue vials empty into the machine. The plates felt tighter and suddenly his entire body felt like it was on fire. He closed his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth together. 

‘Now, Mr. Stark.’ The machine began to tilt and he felt himself being moved into an upright position. The metal formed a cage around him and his world was plunged into darkness.

‘Steven, can you hear me?’ Erskine’s voice floated over the pain. Steve took a deep breath and somehow managed to find his voice. He was dreadful at lying so saying he was alright was out of the question but he had to find a way to let them know it was ok to continue.

‘It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?’ He felt his voice answer. Bucky would kill him if he knew what Steve had gotten himself into this time.

‘We will proceed’ Erskine voice echoed through. He heard the noise of electricity vibrate through the lab and a scream ripped from his throat as his world started to burn. His vision sparked red and white and every muscle seemed to spasm with the pain. He pulled at the restraints on his wrist begging for this to be over but they held him down tightly. His heart felt like it was ready to give out as it pounded in his chest pumping blood around his body faster than ever before. He could feel every bone in his body shift and bend as his cells were manipulated and changed by the serum. Voices filtered through the searing pain. He heard something about them shutting the machine down. _No! I can do this!_ He’d come too far to fail now. He willed himself to say the words but his voice was trapped in his throat, or so he thought. The machine never turned off which was only partly a relief. He heard the machine spark around him and his own voice screaming with the pain. Then nothing. It was over. The contraception opened and he stumbled out into the arms of the doctor. He let out a heavy breath and looked down at his new body. He was dripping with cold sweat and his muscles ached from the procedure but he felt… good. His heart felt strong and he looked around the room. The colours were brighter than before and the world was finally in focus. He no longer needed glasses that he couldn’t afford. _Holy shit._

‘Steven? Steven?’ Steve looked down at the doctor and blinked a couple of times as he adjusted to his new reality. He was suddenly the tallest one in the room, he’d probably be even taller than Bucky now.

‘I did it.’ He breathed. His voice was still his. He was happy his voice hadn’t changed like everything else.

‘How do you feel?’ Peggy’s voice grabbed his attention. He looked down at her petite frame. Her face flushed a beautiful red as her gaze raked over his body. Her hand reached out towards him before she could stop herself. He wanted to hold her hand there over his heart but she pulled it away as soon as her fingers made contact with his chest.

‘Taller’ He mumbled. It was the understatement of the year but it was gonna take him a while to process all the changes.

‘You look taller’ Her voice chimed quietly. He noticed he could hear her perfectly out of both ears. That was new. He’d always favoured his left before. Before he could even process what was going on he heard a shout from the observation deck. He could smell a thick iron scent begin to permeate the air

‘What was that?’ Steve’s head whipped up to where the sound came from.

‘We’ve got a man down up here!’ Colonel Phillips yelled down. Without think Steve launched himself up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. He almost tripped over his own feet as he spun round the corner and the small hand rail bent under his gripped. _Damn it!_ It was gonna take some getting used to. His limbs felt all out of proportion and no way should he be able to bend metal like that.

‘Who fired?’ Steve asked the Colonel who looked a little stunned by his sudden growth spurt and Steve couldn’t help but smirk.

‘Nobody saw the shooter. No one came in or out’ Phillips reported in a military fashion. Steve frowned and turned to the body. The iron smell was stronger here and Steve realised it was the blood that was seeping from the dark haired man’s throat. He grimaced at the sight of the body.

‘I wouldn’t worry’ Stark waved a wallet in the air that he’d pulled out of the pockets of the dead man.

‘What do you mean. Someone has been shot sir!’ Phillips spluttered indignantly.

‘I checked his pockets and found this.’ Stark passed the wallet to Steve who opened it. Inside was a picture of the man and a name _Heinz Kruger._ That did not match the lanyard around the man’s neck. There was a strange symbol on the leather which Steve traced with his fingers.

‘Hydra’ Erskine’s voice came from behind him.

‘Excuse me?’ The Senator asked, trying to make sense of the sudden chaos that had fallen upon them.

‘Hitler’s specialised science division.’ The doctor explained sombrely. ‘They wanted me to join but I escaped.’ His face was ashen and melancholy. Steve wondered what price he had paid to escape his homeland.

‘He had a bomb?’ Howard cut through gesturing to a small device under the control desk ‘Why did no one stop him?’ He was almost yelling. The sound rang in Steve’s head and had to resist the urge to cover his ears. God this new world was so much louder than before. He wondered how people were able to focus on anything with so many smells and colours and noises.

‘It looks like someone did.’ Erskine waved towards the dead man on the floor. ‘Maybe we have one of our own spies in here. You know anything Agent Carter?’ Peggy shook her head. She looked concerned and more than a bit confused. Steve was just glad the man was stopped before anyone got hurt.

‘If we do it’s beyond my clearance level sir.’ Peggy said professionally. Although Steve was highly certain there weren’t many people that had higher clearance than Agent Carter.

‘I’m closing the project down’ Doctor Erskine announced to the room. He voice was calm and determined. Steve thought back at what his body had just been through. He wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It was torture there were no two ways about it.

‘Doctor? You can’t! Look at what we’ve achieved!’ Phillips protested predictably but Erskine stood his ground.

‘If Hydra gets hold of this technology then the war is lost. No. This stops today. No one must ever find out about what we achieved here today.’ He picked up the remaining vials of blue serum and tucked them into his pocket.

‘Then how are you going to explain Rogers?’ Stark quipped. It was a legitimate question. Anyone who had known Steve before would never believe he’d finally gone through a growth spurt and was suddenly free of all his illnesses.

‘A fluke.’ The doctor waved his hand dismissively ‘A cure for his ailments gone wrong. It almost killed him. We have no idea what effect it will have on others. I don’t care what story you spin but Project Rebirth is over’He might be a small man but Steve knew that Erskine’s decision was final. There would be no more super soldiers created by the serum. Not by Abraham Erskine’s hands anyway, Steve had no doubt that others would try to replicate the procedure. He noticed a dark figure fade into the shadows of the room and make his way towards the door. Steve slowly backed off and followed the golden eyed man. Everyone else was too busy arguing about the serum to notice his disappearance. He caught up with the man outside the lab and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. The figure froze and turned to meet his gaze. He was wearing a suit today, Steve guessed it was to blend in with the other members of the press that had been present.

‘You did this.’ Steve stated. He didn’t know how he knew but his gut was telling him he was right. There was something about this golden-eyed man. Steve thought he knew far more than he was letting on.

‘I did Captain.’ The man’s voice was deep and full of wisdom. Steve barely registered that he called him Captain again.

‘Why?’ Steve pressed. If Erskine was right then the Hydra Agent deserved to die but how did this man know this and why did he take it on himself to commit the crime. Maybe Erskine was right and he was some top secret agent that not even Peggy knew about.

‘To save an innocent man.’ _An innocent man_ Steve thought. Who would have died? Would it have been him? It would have been damn ironic to survive the procedure only to get blown up. He didn’t question any further. He was just happy that everyone survived.

‘How did nobody spot you?’ He was curious. In a room full of agents this man had managed to slit the Hydra agent’s throat completely unnoticed and get away. It was an impossible feat.

‘I have my ways Captain.’ The man said mysteriously then pulled away. Steve felt frozen to the spot as he watched the stranger walked down the street and get lost in the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think, what you'd like to see. I'm at Avengersbarnes on tumblr so head on over and come fan girl over all sorts of Marvel with me. In particular Seb Stan and Stucky. See you next time! <3


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I've added a warning for violence. There is description of torture in this chapter so please proceed with caution. I hope you all enjoy this! I'm particularly fond of the end of this chapter... just saying.

Heimdall blinked as he came to. The last thing he remembered was a searing pain in his head after the Captain had chased him down. Everything was bright white. He groaned as he realised where he was.

“Why did you save the doctor? That was not our mission” The creature’s voice echoed around him. He could feel the disappointment deep in his bones. Heimdall brushed off his suit and faced the giant eye in front of him. The creature showed more of itself today. Heimdall could make out shining scales around the eye and he had a strange feeling that it’s body was curled around him. Still Heimdall wasn’t exactly in the mood for mythical beings. He’d just lost everyone he knows and had been ripped from his timeline. He just wanted to finish the mission and get back to Asgard. If it still existed by the time they were finished.

He stared the creature in it’s bright colourful eye. “You didn’t exactly give me much to work with. It was the right thing to do.” He replied dryly. He was used to following orders of his King without question but this creature was not the King of Agard and he was doing the best he could with the information he was given.

“You cannot play God!” The voice reverberated around the white realm. Heimdall resisted coiling back. He would not show his fear to this unknown. He took a deep breath as the echoes faded into silence.

“So changing an entire timeline to make a couple of super-soldiers happy is fine. Saving one innocent life is not?” The air around him rippled as he spoke. The creature was angry. _Good,_ He thought to himself. He would not, could not, apologise for saving the doctor’s life.

“You do not know the consequences of your actions” The voice hissed. Heimdall’s brow furrowed in confusion. There was a strange desperation hidden in the depths of the creature’s voice. Another man might not have heard it, but Heimdall had spent years watching the universe. He had learnt to listen, but still he could only guess at the future.

‘I know a lot less than you give me credit for. I’m trying to help, the universe depends on it” _My universe depends on it._ He doubted the creature existed on the same plane as the rest of them.

“You must be more careful.” The creature implored. The anger had faded away and it was back to the gentle somber tones of his first visit.

“Just let me go back and finish the job you gave me” Heimdall pleaded. He just wanted to go home. If it meant stopping the infinity stone war then he would do whatever was necessary but he just wanted to go home.

“Just be mindful little one.” Heimdall flinched as something tickled his ear. The voice was closer and resonated in his body. It wasn’t unpleasant but it was not a feeling the Asgardian was used to. “The doctor's death ensured that Hydra never got hold of the Serum”

Heimdall’s heart sank and he felt his gut twist as he processed those words. Had he just given Hydra the one thing they had never managed to take from Shield? “So I just traded one life for millions?” His voice was barely a whisper. Saying the words out loud make the realisation seem all the more real. He might have just made one of the biggest mistakes of his existence.

“It is one possibility.” Heimdall let out the breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. It was only one possibility but out of how many?“Now it is your responsibility to make sure that never happens.”

“Odin’s beard” He cursed under his breath. More work to do, just what he needed.

 

* * *

 

Bucky twisted his arms against the leather restraints that held him in place. They were strong but he was sure with enough wear he could break them. He could see the metal cuffs on the desk opposite him so he could only assume they would replace the leather soon as he got more desperate to escape. He tried not to look at the other instruments on the desk, at least two were already covered in his blood.

After they been captured he’d been placed in a cell with the rest of his men but a Hydra agent had caught them planning their escape. It had been a stupid mistake that led to them getting caught. Jones had made a joke about it just as a hydra agent had entered the corridor outside their cell. Bucky had taken full responsibility for the whole plan. The others had been against it the whole time according to his statement and they reluctantly let him take the fall. He’d threatened to shoot them all himself if they disagreed with him. So he’d been taken to his own cell and strapped to a gurney.

It was dark and he could hear the sound of pipes dripping in the corridor. They’d left him alone at first, he didn’t know how long he had been here. It could have been hours or weeks. They’d blocked the window in the room so the only light was a small dirty bulb hanging from the ceiling. After the isolation the agents had come. He’d begged to be returned to the loneliness after that. They had punched him so hard he’d been knocked out almost instantly. He room had span before he succumbed to the darkness. When he woke up they dug metal into his skin and under his nails. He screamed in agony but he didn’t give them anything. He told them his number, his name and rank and he told them to fuck off. He was American. He didn’t sell his country out. After hours of violent beating he couldn’t even manage his own name anymore. He screamed for home and Brooklyn, he screamed for Steve, and still he told them nothing. Eventually he’d passed out again.

The third time he’d waken up he was alone again. He was working on a way to escape but the leather dug into his wrists and he wasn’t strong enough anymore. He needed food. He needed Steve. _Steve_ He thought, over and over again. He knew he needed to get home. He twisted again at the leather straps. They were starting to fray so he was slowly making progress. He grimaced in pain as it cut into his skin, blood slowly seeped out the wounds mixing with the dirt on his skin. He heard footsteps in the corridor. He closed his eyes and feigned sleep. It was only one man as far as he could tell. The footsteps were lighter than those who had tortured him.

“Did you know Soldier that the Americans have successfully made an enhanced being?” A small German accent spoke softly. Bucky tried to keep his breathing steady but without warning he was drenched in frozen water. He gasped as the ice cold flooded over his body and he struggled to hold back the shock.

“Fuck you!” He panted, barely able to catch his breath.

“Now now Sergeant Barnes, that is quite unnecessary. I am just making conversation” Arnim Zola stood beside him. Schmidt’s puppy dog. Bucky had seen him around the cells a few times, talking about some high tech shit that even Howard Stark would struggle to understand. The man was a genius but Bucky was in no mood for conversation.

“My name is Bucky. Three Two Five Five Seven” He rattled off his normal response. Name and number, nothing they don’t already know.

Zola rolled his eyes in despair. “Yes yes you have already told us that Soldier. I don’t want information from you. I’m a scientist not a spy”

‘Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th” Bucky smirked at his captor. He’d been through this before and the scientist was no different to the rest.

“Must you keep repeating yourself?” Zola said with a wave of his hand, he pulled a rag out of his jacket and stuffed it into Bucky’s mouth. Bucky gagged and tried to spit it out but Zola tied it in place.

“Hmmmp” _Damn it!_ He thought. This was bad. This was very bad. He tugged desperately at the straps but they were still too tight. He couldn’t even kick the son of a bitch. Zola smack him across the face and Bucky winced as his skin stung.

“Ah now that’s better. Now as I was saying. Your inferior scientists have actually managed to achieve something Hydra never has. Why do you think that is?” The doctor paused, glancing down at his prisoner, Bucky glared fiercely up at him in forced silence. “Forgive me you cannot talk. Well _Bucky_ ” Bucky strained against his restraints and growled through the gag, Zola ignored him “It’s because they used a German scientist. It really is such a shame. Dr Erskine would have done tremendous things for Hydra. Alas, it was not to be. The Americans are foolish though. They have taken such an exquisite specimen and turned him into a dancing monkey! Herr Schmidt would never let such a good asset go to waste. We would win the war with just one soldier. Imagine what we could do with a whole army?” Zola picked up a long needle and Bucky saw an eerily blue liquid shine through casing of the syringe. His eyes widened in panic as he realised what was happening. He struggled desperately but to no avail. He was trapped.“Now hold still. This will only hurt a lot”

The needle plunged into his arm and his screamed against the cloth in his mouth. His arm immediately burned and seized up as the liquid started to spread throughout his body. He felt every cell in his body start to burn, inch by inch, until his whole body was on fire. His vision started to blur and he felt tears stream down his face. Just when he thought it couldn’t get any worse his body spasmed in shock. He tried to focus on Zola, he just about made out the light shining off the man’s glasses. He was holding a long rod that was sparking with electricity. Bucky tried to flinch away as Zola brought the rod closer to his skin but it was no use. It made contact with his chest and his body shook beyond his control. The sounds of the doctor’s laughter echoed in his ears. Another deep pain hit his chest as he was given a second dose. The room blurred into darkness as his body finally gave in to the pain.

* * *

 

Bucky tried to ignore the pounding in his head. His mouth felt dry and his entire body ached. He groaned as he blinked back to consciousness. Zola was standing nearby with a clipboard and Bucky noticed he was hooked up to some kind of machine. He heard noise rumbling from upstairs but Zola either hadn’t heard or didn’t care, Bucky thought it was probably the former. The restraints around his wrists were now solid metal, he pulled against them curiously. The metal didn’t break but he could hear the bolts strain under the pressure. _Interesting_ he thought. Twisting his wrist he noticed the wounds where the leather had cut into his wrist were gone without a scar. Whatever had been in that syringe had helped him to heal and he was definitely stronger. Steve was gonna kill him when he found out. Bucky heard footsteps approaching and he braced himself for whatever the German’s were about to throw at him. Seconds later Zola suddenly turned his head towards the door. So Zola wasn’t expecting visitors. The door smashed open and Zola ducked behind the table to avoid the debris. Bucky grinned as he recognised their visitor. It was the dark stranger who had been stalking him since he got drafted in to the war.

“I don’t mean to intrude but you have something I need” The man’s deep voice echoed through the small room.

“What is this? How did you get here? Guards!” Zola grabbed his briefcase and pulled a pistol from his jacket firing shots at the stranger but he wasn’t fast enough. The man blocked the bullets with golden gauntlets on his wrist and Bucky had to dodge the ricocheting metal. He was almost a different person to the shaggy robed stranger from Brooklyn. There was a long sword on his back and golden armour covered his body. It was like something out of a movie. Bucky stared in awe as the man drew his sword from his back and swung it down heavily on the restraints around Bucky’s wrists. Bucky was proud that he only flinched a little. He could see the power behind the swing but it was controlled and the metal fell apart with a resounding clang. Bucky spied Zola sneaking out of the room, he desperately wanted to go after him. The man deserved to feel the pain he’d inflicted but he knew he was not nearly strong enough and getting his men out of the hell hole was a priority.

‘Can you stand Sergeant?” The man asked, concern in his eyes.

Bucky nodded. His muscles were sore but stronger than before. He could at least make it out of the camp. “I think so. How did you…” He started to ask but the man interrupted him with a wave of his hand.

“Not now. We need to go before they destroy this place.” He pulled Bucky off the gurney and hoisted him to his feet. Bucky stumbled slightly as he stood for the first time in weeks but he soon found his feet. He took a deep breath and they started to make their way through the maze of corridors. Bucky was totally lost but he trusted this strange man.

“What about the others?” Bucky’s voice was hoarse and his throat felt sore as he spoke. He could hear the fighting from upstairs and he prayed to whatever god there was that his friends were alive.

“The cells are open and they are fighting their way out as we speak.” He responded calmly as he threw a knife towards a Nazi who had the misfortune to encounter them in the corridors. Bucky grabbed the high tech weapon as they went passed. He suddenly felt a lot happier with the gun in his hand. He could defend himself now and that was probably vital to their survival.

“Thank you, Sir” He knew that he now owed this man a life debt as did all the men who were fighting from the cells. The light shone from up ahead and the finally broke free of the prison. He spied Dum Dum jumping into a tank as Hydra soldiers surrounded them. He gave his friend a quick salute and fired hell on the enemy. His eye sight was sharper than before and he found that his brain could make the calculations of a sniper faster than before. It might have been torture in the makeshift lab but Hydra would regret letting him escape. He turned around to find his rescuer but the man had vanished as quickly as he arrived.

“Bloody Hell” He cursed loudly. Now he’d have to find away back to their camp with the men. He had been hoping the stranger knew where they were.

* * *

 

Bucky had had enough of hospitals. Ever since they’d stumbled back into the army camp he’d had doctors prodding and poking him with all sorts of medical equipment. He almost punched the first unfortunate nurse who tried to take a blood sample. He apologised later and explained that the needle had given him a flashback to his time with Zola. He sincerely regretted telling the docs that they’d given him some sort of injection during his torture sessions but no amount of telling them he was fine got them off his back. They’d kept him in the med bay for a week. He was allowed to walk around and he was given his letters from home but they just wouldn’t let him leave. So he sat on his stupid bed in the stupid dumbass med bay and reread his letter from Becca for like the hundredth time. Apparently Steve had done something stupid again but she hadn’t told him what so he was desperately trying to read between the lines. Becca said he wouldn’t get sick anymore which didn’t seem like a bad thing. Maybe that Erskine doctor had actually done some good for his friend. He didn’t want to imagine the bill though. He made a note to send extra money back home next time he got paid. Hopefully being a prisoner of war for a few weeks would get him some extra. His sister’s tone was light hearted and apparently Steve was shining brighter than a star. _What the hell Becca…_ He thought he was the one who was in love with the skinny punk. He sighed a folded the letter back into his pocket. His sister was a mystery that he would probably never solve.

“Sergeant Barnes?” A nurse called. She was examining his chart and Bucky rolled his eyes in exasperation.

“I’m fine Ma’am. Honest to God.” She blushed faintly as she looked down at him and nodded.

“I can see that soldier. It’s quite incredible. You’re free to go.” She smiled softly and Bucky just stared in disbelief.

“Well it’s about fucking time!” She laughed brightly and he grabbed his stuff off his bed and ran towards the edge of the tent. _Freedom at last._

He caught sight of Dugan as he left the tent. He grinned as he saw Bucky make his bid for freedom.

“Hey Sarge!” Dum Dum waved enthusiastically and Bucky trotted over to meet his friend. They hugged each other fondly.

“Dum Dum! Man am I glad to see you! How are the others?” Bucky felt relief flood over as thing were finally returning to normal. Well as normal as army life ever was.

Dum Dum’s face was somber and Bucky felt a twinge of panic. He wondered how many had been lost in the battle for freedom. “A lot of the troop didn’t make it.” Dum Dum said with melancholy.

“Morita, Jones?” Bucky asked in a desperate panic. He knew men had been lost he just hoped, selfishly, that his friends were not among the fallen.

“Alive and well. You’re the last one out.” Dum Dum put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Bucky was annoyed that he had been separated from his friends his the med bay. Apparently they wanted to make sure the shitty chemicals weren’t contagious or something

“They are trying to work out what shit they put in my blood.” Bucky said with a sigh.

“You look pretty good considering” Dugan quipped and Bucky let out a chuckle. It might have been hell but Dum Dum wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah. Whatever it is I heel faster now, feel stronger too. Zola was talking about an enhanced soldier so theory is they were trying to replicate it.” He flexed his muscles, Dum Dum laughed and punched him jokingly in the arm. Bucky tried not to flinch. “Hurt like a bitch though” Bucky added grimly. That was the understatement of the century. He didn’t want to reveal just how bad it had been. They’d worry about him too much otherwise.

“Sarge!” Jones’ voice distracted him from the sudden wash of memories that threatened to overcome him. Bucky hadn’t realised Dum Dum was leading him back to his group of friends. They sprawled in a circle on the dirt, enjoying the sun on their faces.

“Barnes!” Morita shouted with glee as he too saw the two Sergeants join them.

“Hey Jimmy, Gabe. How you feeling?” Bucky grinned giddily as he greeted his men.

“Just peachy. Heard about the show girls coming out to visit?” Jones was smiling brighter than a summers day. Bucky tried to recall if any of the nurses had mentioned anything but he drew a blank.

“First I’ve heard of it. I’ve been in medical for a week remember?” He noticed two more men sat with his friends. He didn’t recognise them as soldiers from the 107th He reached out a hand to the first man. “Sorry I don’t think we’ve met.”

“James Falsworth. His Majesty’s 3rd Independent Parachute Brigade.” Falsworth shook his hand. Bucky was shocked. The man wasn’t American. His accent was the poshest British accent Bucky had ever heard. He sounded like a villain from a spy movie.

‘You’re British?” Bucky stammered dumbly. _Well done Sergeant Obvious…_

‘Well observed, Sir” Falworth replied dryly with a smirk. Bucky deserved that.

“Huh.. well. Welcome to the 107th” He turned to the other new arrival, hoping he’d be a little smoother this time “and you are?” He asked politely but the man didn’t speak. Jones answered on his behalf which startled Bucky more than it should have.

“That’s Jacques Dernier. French Resistance and has a talent for explosives. Wouldn’t have escaped without him” Jones patted Dernier’s back proudly.

‘Bonjour Monsieur Barnes” The french solider gave him a wink and Bucky blushed. He always did have a soft spot for languages.

‘err. Bonjour Jacques. You speak french Jones?” Bucky’s knowledge of the French language was pitiful at best and his accent left a lot to be desired. Still he remembered something from school so that was something to be proud of. He was a little stunned that Gabe seemed to know more about the new arrival in their group. He’d clearly been holding out on him.

Jones grinned and his eyes lit up. “Yup. Ma taught me when I was younger. She’s half French.” He paused as a group of young Privates went running passed them. “Come on we’re gonna miss the show!” And with that Gabe charged after the men to find a seat. Bucky rolled his eyes but ran after him with the rest of their crew.

“So why they doing this anyway?” Bucky said as they navigated their way through the growing crowd to nearer the front.

“Who cares. They brought girls.” Dum responded as they passed some bandaged soldier. Bucky rolled his eyes at his friend. They pushed further towards the front. Bucky was a highly respected member of the 107th and everyone had heard at least rumours of his time in Kreischberg so the other men let them pass much to Gabe’s delight.

“You’re married Dum Dum!” Falsworth quipped. Bucky chuckled. He loved how Falsworth’s accent made everything seem like such a scandal, as if the king of England himself was personally insulted.

“I’m not gonna sleep with em!” Dum Dum muttered to himself and Bucky gave him a sympathetic pat on the back.

Finally they took their seats as a man in a grey suit appeared on stage to introduce they show. Jones was brimming with excitement and words were flying from his mouth at a million miles an hour. Bucky laughed in the right places but he wasn’t paying much attention. Just enjoying being back in the open air with his friends. The sky was a dull greyish blue and there was still a chill in the air but it was fresh and Bucky could make out the faint reflection of the moon. He smiled contently as he felt the breeze on his face. The sound of scratchy music brought him out of his thoughts. Gabe was still telling them everything he’d heard about the show. Bucky chuckled in fond disbelief. Still Jones’ excitement was infectious and he couldn’t help but grin as he tried to catch up with the conversation.“and apparently this guy is going around pretending to punch Nazis and raising a load of money for the war. He’s our new national symbol apparently!”

“Captain Spangles or whatever.” Morita smirked and they all laughed.

“He sounds real stupid” Bucky drawled. There was a murmur of agreement.

“Wouldn’t catch me up there for a hundred bucks” Dum Dum announced proudly. Bucky tried to imagine Dum Dum in a show girls outfit pretending to hit an idiot with a moustache and sniggered to himself. He definitely agreed with Dum Dum.

“We’ve only got Buck” Morita added so very wittily. Buck gave him a light punch on the arm. Apparently that joke was never gonna get old.

“Very funny Morita” He sighed.

‘Lighten up Sarge.” Jones shot back beaming.

“Fuck off Jones.” Bucky mumbled as brightly dressed girls flooded the stage.

Having only really seen dull greens and browns since they were shipped out the vibrant blues and reds that filled the stage was almost overwhelming. They were singing cheerfully about this Captain Spangles guy Morita had mentioned. Bucky couldn’t help but find himself bobbing along to the music. Dum Dum raised eyebrow at him when he noticed. Bucky blushed.

“It’s catchy! Fuck off!” He yelled above the music, far too defensively,and Dum Dum laughed heartily. The men around them were wolf-whistling and cheering as they girls danced and showed off their long legs in short skirts. Jones was basically drooling and Bucky gave him a light swipe over the back of the head.

And then Captain America walked out on stage.

Bucky was fucked. This guy was gorgeous, tall, muscular and eyes blue as the summer sky.

“Hang on a minute” He muttered under his breath. There was something so familiar about those eyes. _Steve…_ His mind supplied. That was it! They were the exact same colour as Steve’s eyes. The bridge of his nose was similar too, not the same but similar. Maybe Steve had a cousin that he never knew about.

“How many of you ready to help me sock old Adolf on the jaw?” The man spoke and Bucky’s heart stopped. He knew that voice. A silence fell over the camp and Steve shifted awkwardly on the stage. “Okay. Uh… I need a volunteer.” Steve stammered, his cheeks flushed brightly.

“The fuck…” Bucky whispered as he processed the fact his tiny best friend was standing in front of his with the body of a God.

“What’s wrong Sarge?” He heard Jones’ voice next to him but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the man on the stage.

“I already volunteered! How do you think I got here?” Some jack-ass yelled from the back. It snapped Bucky out of his Steve filled daze. He stood up, dusting off his trousers.

“Steve!” He yelled and Steve’s eyes made contact with his. It was like the world stopped spinning.For just a heart beat it was just Steve and Bucky.

“What? Bucky?” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper but Bucky heard every word. He heard the way his voice cracked as he said Bucky’s name. He heard the longing as Bucky’s name rolled off his tongue. It took everything Bucky had not to run up on stage and pull Steve into a kiss. He knew he couldn’t though so he said the only other thing that came to mind.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” Bucky smirked as he tried to hide the blush on his face.

“Shit!” Steve looked to off stage and back at Bucky. He was red as a tomato. He yelled to someone off stage. “Peggy bring back the girls… please” This was met by a big cheer from the surrounding soldiers and Steve bolted off the makeshift platform. Bucky vaguely noticed the dumbstruck look his friends were giving him but he didn’t care he was running after Steve. It was what he born to do after all.

‘Captain Stupid don’t you run away from me!” Bucky pushed through the rows of soldiers in front of him. It wasn’t easy now they were all focussed on the dames on stage. Jones’ voice broke through over the music.

“Sarge, where are you going?” The younger soldier shouted. Bucky barely looked over his shoulder, he just had to catch Steve.

“Stephanie” He yelled, hoping they would understand. He couldn’t let him go. Not this time. He’d spent far too long without his blond reckless idiot by his side.

“Oh shit” He heard Dum Dum say before their voices were too far away for even Bucky to make out over the music. Bucky got some dirty looks from soldiers as he barged his way through. When he finally broke free he sprinted towards the tent around the stage. He spied a tall blue figure retreating into the tent. Without hesitation Bucky followed.

“Steven Grant Rogers!” He shouted. Steve spun round to face him. Bucky almost forgot why he was so made. Steve’s deep ocean blue eyes were locked onto his.

“Hey Buck…” Steve’s voice was soft as he gazed fondly at Bucky It made his heart race and he threw his arms round the suddenly taller man. Steve’s arms wrapped around him and a familiar scent that was all Steve flooded his senses. He was home. The hug was awkward as they both tried to work out how Steve’s new body fit with Bucky’s. The blond didn’t fit nicely in his arms anymore and he already missed hooking his chin over Steve’s bony shoulders but he did feel unbelievably safe in the newly strong arms. He wondered how this change had come about.

Then it hit him.

Zola had been talking about an enhanced being. It was a process that they’d tried to replicate with Bucky. They had used their experiment as a form of torture. He wondered if the real thing had been just as painful. _Fuck’s sake Steve!_ The realisation hit him hard.

He suddenly pushed his friend away, ignoring the hurt puppy look Steve was giving him. “Don’t do anything Stupid I said.” The words tumbled from his mouth before he could stop them. Steve looked momentarily confused at Bucky’s sudden mood swing. “That was the last thing I said! Was it really that difficult?” Tears welled up in his eyes and he looked down at his feet, not wanting Steve to see how much this upset him. The thought of Steve getting hurt like he had broke his heart. He was meant to keep Steve safe. How could he fail at the thing he did best, protecting Steve. Comprehension shone in Steve’s eyes and he realised what Bucky was referring to. He stared down at his hands, fingers intertwined and picking the imaginary paint from his nails. It was habit Steve had picked up years ago and Bucky smiled fondly. He guessed some things hadn’t changed. For such a tall guy Steve still managed to seem small. His shoulder were hunched and his knees were bent.

“I’m sorry Buck” His voice was quiet and a soft blush covered his cheeks.

Bucky sighed. He was cross but he didn’t want Steve to be upset. He never wanted to be the one to cause Steve pain. “I know… You look good” And he really did. His breath wasn’t wheezy, he was fuller in the face and Bucky could see the lines of muscle underneath the skin tight costume. Bucky couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on Steve’s lips. They hadn’t changed at all.

“I feel good. I’m not sick anymore Buck.” Steve almost pleaded with him. Bucky squeezed his shoulder and nodded. It wasn’t quite the embrace they’d had before but the contact was a comfort to both of them.

“That’s good Stevie. I missed your dumb ass” He smirked as a familiar scowled fell upon Steve’s features. It was strange to see his friend’s expressions staring down at him from this new face. It was Steve but it wasn’t the Steve he left behind.

Steve gave him a punch to the arm. Bucky flinched a little. Steve hadn’t gotten used to his strength yet and it damn well hurt. “Jerk” Steve muttered.

Bucky grinned. “Punk.” He shot back, savouring the familiar words. Steve smiled fondly down at him. His cheeks were still pink and bits of blond hair were sticking out the bright blue cowl. Bucky had forgotten how long those eyelashes were and he found himself lost in Steve’s eyes.

“Follow me” Steve spun suddenly, grabbing Bucky’s hand and pulling him toward the tent they’d set up as Steve’s own space.

“What?” Bucky stammered. He let Steve pull him along but this sudden change in conversation was puzzling. What on earth was Steve thinking about?

“The girls are on stage they didn’t want me anyway. I need to talk to you.” _Uh oh._

“Don’t go getting sentimental on me now Rogers” Bucky stuttered out, desperately trying to remain calm and throw out the old Barnes’ charm.

“Wouldn’t dream of it” Steve quipped back and suddenly they were very much alone. There were no officers walking passed. The sound of chorus girls faded to the distance. It was just Bucky and Steve, Steve and Bucky. He cleared his throat nervously.

“So… Carter?” _God damn it Barnes. Pull yourself together._ It was honestly embarrassing. It was never weird between them, why was he making it weird. Steve looked confused by Bucky’s question.

“What about her?” He raised his perfectly sculpted eyebrow questioningly.

“Don’t give me that. I saw the way she looked at you.” That must be what Steve wanted to talk about. He’d never had a best girl before. The dames had never paid him much attention. “You finally got a girl now your all…” He couldn’t think of the words that would do justice to Steve’s new body so he flung his arms in Steve’s direction. The blond laughed and flushed bright red, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Actually. I think she liked me before” Steve grinned and it was Bucky’s turn to blush. God the man was beautiful. The smile lit up his whole face. Bucky ignored the pang of jealousy that stuck in his gut like a ridged knife. He ignored the fact that he wanted the only reason Steve smiled like that was because of him.

“No kidding.” He desperately tried to sound pleased. “That’s great Stevie” It was great. Steve deserved the best girl. He deserved to be happy.

“Yeah.” Steve said thoughtfully “We’re just friends though”

“Seriously?” Bucky frowned. That didn’t make sense. Steve finally found a girl that like him and they were just friends? Steve ran his hands through his dirty blond hair, pushing the blue cowl off his head and shifted uncomfortably.

“umm yeah. It’s what I wanted to talk to you about” He blushed brightly.

Bucky’s heart sank. They weren’t together because Steve wanted to ask Bucky first. The man was a god damn saint at times. He sighed. “You don’t need my permission Steve. If you want her go get her” _Don’t get her. Stay with me_ His heart argued with the words he said out loud.

“it’s not her I want” Steve said the impossible words. Even Bucky wasn’t dumb enough not to catch the meaning behind the words. He wanted Bucky.

Bucky panicked. They couldn’t have this conversation. It was breaking every unspoken rule they had. Bucky had to stop this before it was too late. If they talk about it there’s no going back. “Steve…” He started but Steve put his hand on his chest.

“No Bucky let me finish.” Bucky stopped talking. He couldn’t even close his eyes to block it out. This was happening. It was real. Steve was too close. Every breath Bucky took he could smell Steve, he could feel the warmth of Steve’s hand over his heart. He looked up and it was Steve’s eyes that met his and it was Steve’s deep voice that filled the small tent. There was no escape. He nodded as he held his friend’s gaze. Steve took a deep breath and continued whatever speech he had planned. “The serum, it cured everything. My asthma is gone, I can see colours better. Like red and green. You know I couldn’t see them right before.”

“Course I know Punk. You thought people were making up holly berries for years” They both chuckled at that. Steve had always struggled to see the difference between red and green which had make Christmas time an endless source of amusement.

“Yeah well I can see em now and I can hear proper too. Probably better than you, your heart is racing too fast..” Steve smirked and as if on cue Bucky’s heart pounded even faster in his chest. He blushed with embarrassment. Apparently nothing was private anymore. Stupid Serum.

“Shut up” he muttered.

“The point is everything that was wrong with me…” Steve continued with a smile

“Nothing was wrong with you” Bucky mumbled under his breath. So technically Steve was right but Bucky always thought he was perfect.

“…is fixed.” Steve ignored Bucky’s interruption but gave him an exasperated glance.

Bucky ran his hands through his hair. They were dancing around saying the words that they both felt. Bucky was kind of grateful but it was making his head spin. Although that might be because he kept forgetting to breathe every time Steve looked at him. “I’m not getting your point here Stevie.” He whined. It was pathetic but he needed to hear it. He was terrified but he needed it like oxygen.

“If everything is fixed then why does my heart still skip a beat when I see you?” Bucky took a deep breath and instinctively stepped closer. His head felt fuzzy and he had butterflies in his stomach. He placed his hand Steve’s cheek.

“But it’s wrong Stevie…” He had to give Steve one last chance to back out. It was too late for Bucky. He loved this man with everything he had. He loved him when he was tiny and he loved him still. It was natural as breathing.

Steve leaned into his hand with a smile. His blue eyes were dark as the ocean. Bucky had never noticed the little green flecks in them before. He’d never let himself stare so deeply. “It’s not wrong Buck.” Steve whispered softly. “It can’t be. Otherwise the serum would’ve fixed this. I would date Peggy like everyone expects” Bucky scowled a little at that thought “and I wouldn’t feel… this!” Steve took Bucky’s hand from his cheek and brought it to his lips but it wasn’t enough.

‘Fuck… Steve” and with that Bucky closed the everlasting gap between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I left it when they were so close but it was a good stopping point. I hope the end made up for the horrible middle section. Let me know what you think! I'm also on tumblr at Avengersbarnes if you would like to come talk about all things marvel with me. Until next time! :)


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have changed the rating. I don't really write smut but there will be quite heavy implications. So I didn't feel comfortable keeping it as Teenager. Anyway! I hope you enjoy this. I particularly enjoyed writing Steve interacting with the Howling Commandos. It's something I really missed in the film.

Steve ran his hands through Bucky’s hair. It was softer than he ever imagined and Bucky hummed in contentment as he rested against Steve’s chest. They’d been this close before but it was always Steve who curled up on his friend, Steve’s new body made that a little more awkward and Bucky seemed to be enjoying being the smaller one for a change. He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s hair, taking in the musky scent of firewood and tobacco. Bucky looked up at him with his piercing blue eyes and smiled brightly. Steve blushed under the intensity of Bucky’s gaze as he moved up to plant a kiss of Steve’s lips. Steve smiled into the kiss, he’d been dreaming about these lips on his since they met. They were chapped from his time in the army but Steve knew he could spend a life time kissing Bucky. It made his pulse race and he was always lightheaded by the time Bucky pulled away. He nipped gently at Bucky’s bottom lip and the brunet moaned into the kiss, heat flared through Steve’s body as he pulled his friend closer. Bucky willingly moved into deeper the kiss, straddling Steve’s waist. Bucky’s hands tugged gently at his hair, sending shock waves through his body. He brushed his lips across Bucky’s lips and down to his neck.

“Steve?” Peggy’s voice broke them apart. Bucky jumped up so quickly he almost head butted Steve. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, Bucky looked like a hot mess. His hair was ruffled and his shirt was coming undone. Steve was momentarily distracted by the flushedskin that was showing beneath the shirt. “Steve? I’m coming in!” Peggy called again.

“Er… Just a second Pegs.” Steve stammered. He tried to push Bucky gently off of him but Bucky had other ideas. His thighs tightened their grip on Steve’s waist and he grinned playfully down at Steve.

“Real Smooth, Doll.” He leant down to whisper in Steve’s ear, the hot breath tickled and Steve had to suppress a shudder.

“Shut up. Doll?” Steve hissed back at his friend. Bucky’s face was still so close to his and Steve found it almost impossible to resist the urge to reach up and kiss the lips.

“Just trying it out. What do you think?” Bucky quipped, he head tilted with curiosity.

“Not in public.” Steve blushed. He liked the pet name a lot but he knew the danger it could put them in.

“God Steve I’m not stupid “ Steve opened his mouth to argue but Bucky was faster. He placed his hand over Steve’s mouth. “don’t say anything!”

“Steve are you alright?” Peggy called again. _Damn it._

Bucky chuckled, his hand was still over Steve’s mouth and he was enjoying this far too much. Steve did the only thing he could think of and licked Bucky’s hand. It tasted like a bad mix of sweat and dirt. He grimaced but his planned worked. Bucky pulled his hand away in disgust and glared at him.

“I’m fine. I’ll come out in a minute!” Steve called back. He pushed Bucky off his lap and scrambled to his feet. Bucky relented this time and fell back onto the ground; still grinning like an idiot.

“Come out? Sure that’s the best choice of words?” He whispered, his eyes sparkling.

“Shut up!” Steve wanted to bury his head against Bucky’s chest with embarrassment. He was blushing so red he thought he might never return to his normal pale colour. “Can you get out the back of the tent without being seen?” Steve implored with Bucky, trying his best to give him an irresistible pout. Bucky’s playful gaze softened into a fond one and pulled himself to his feet, making his way to the back of the tent. He paused at the entrance and turned back to Steve.

“One last kiss?” Bucky fluttered his eyelashes dramatically. Steve rolled his eyes but pressed his lips against Bucky’s. His hand reached down and gave Bucky’s bum a quick squeeze before pushing him out the door.

“Now go!” He winked as Bucky almost fell over. Steve took a deep breath and turned to the main entrance of the tent. He brushed off his bright blue uniform and went to face Agent Carter.

“Er… Hi Pegs” Steve tried to keep his blush at bay but with his Irish blood there wasn’t much chance of hiding it. He just hoped Peggy didn’t think too much off it or chalk it down to embarrassment over the performance.

“Steve… we were worried about you.” She paused as her eyes took in his appearance. “They say you’ve never run off the stage like that before.” Her voice was cold as she continue, any worry she might have had faded away.

“Never had a crowd like this one.” Steve was steadfastly ignoring the obvious. He knew he couldn’t trick her but he hoped she might play along.

“107th. These men have been through a lot. More than most.” Peggy sighed.

Steve could tell she was disappointed he was lying to her but what choice did he have. The world wasn’t ready for people like him. Steve was concerned by what Peggy meant by ‘more than most'. What was Bucky not telling him? Sure they’d been a little distracted by each other but Steve wanted to know everything about Bucky and what he’d been through so far as part of the war. He was hoping to convince the senator to let him join Bucky’s unit rather than continue his tour of America. Surely they could find a trained actor to play the part of Captain America, one that could actually put some feeling into the lines he had to say.

“What do you mean more than most?” Steve questioned and Peggy averted her eyes; staring down at the ground. She was silent whilst she considered her response. 

Steve felt the familiar tightening of his chest as the anxiety began to crawl over his skin. The light felt too bright, too colourful, and his felt nauseous as the world began to spin. Apparently the super serum had decided that anxiety was not something to fix. Steve focussed on his breathing, counting in his mind as he had done so many times before. He reached out to Peggy, placing his hand on her soldier, partly to steady himself but mostly to encourage her to tell him. Her brown eyes met his blue ones, sadness shone in her eyes.

Peggy placed her hand on top of his and gave it a quick squeeze.“There was a mission. They walked straight into an ambush.” Her voice was broken and Steve sensed her hesitation.

“Tell me. I need to know.” He pleaded but the sadness in her eyes turned to cold steel.

“Why?” She pushed as she took a step back from him. Steve’s hand fell limply by his side.

“Peggy please…” He was not above begging. She turned away from him as she tucked a stray lock of hair back into its pin. “It’s classified military information Steve. Why do you need to know?” 

“It’s Bucky.” He finally relented; shuffling uncomfortably at his revelation.

“Barnes?” She was not surprised.

“Yes. I know him Peggy. He won’t tell me himself.” Bucky was stubborn. He had always tried protect Steve back when he was little and Steve was sure that hadn’t changed with the Serum. Except now Bucky was protecting him by withholding information rather than holding him back in a fight. 

“Was he in your tent?” Steve glanced up at her. She raised one eyebrow expectantly; a smirk on her lips.

“Excuse me?” He stammered.

“Your lips are swollen, your hair is a mess and it took you over two minutes to let me in.” Steve felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment. She’d known the whole time; of course she had, she was a highly intelligent agent with the SSR. _Damn It! Think Rogers._ His traitorous thoughts led him back to his tent with Bucky. He remembered Bucky’s hand tugging at his blond hair as they kissed. He remembered the soft moans Bucky made as their lips moved against each other. He remembered the feel of Bucky’s body pressed warm against his own and felt the heat rush through him. 

He shook his head to stop his thoughts from running away again. “I … er… would you believe it was a chorus girl? I am Captain America I get a lot of attention these days —” Peggy punched him on the arm; hard. “— Ow!” He reached up and held his arm. It would leave a bruise, the girl had a mean right hook. Steve was just thankful the serum would heal the bruise in a matter of hours.

“You deserved that.” She spoke quietly; gazing up at him with a hurt look.

Steve sighed and scratched the back of his neck. “I did.”

“Answer the question Steve!”

“If I answer, will you tell me what I want to know?”

She hesitated whilst she considered his request. “Maybe.” That was probably the best he was going to get. He pulled her towards his tent and she let him lead her knowing this conversation was one to be had in private. He saw her eyes flit towards the messy sheets of his bed and he tried to squash the never-ending feeling of embarrassment.

“He was in the crowd. I recognised his voice.” He admitted and Peggy finally smiled. He released a heavy breath as relief filled his body. She was only mad because he was lying to her and they both knew it.

“That’s why you wanted the girls.”

“Yes. I needed to talk to him.” _I needed him…_

She laughed, her chocolate eyes softening more every second. “Talk. Is that what they call it?”

“Peggy, please.” He whined. What was it with Brunettes and embarrassing him? “Bucky could get in trouble. We both could.”

“But you only care about him?”

“I’m always in trouble” They both laughed at that.

“You’re not wrong there.”

“The ambush?” He pressed. He’d given Peggy her answers and now he wanted his. She put her hands on her hips and stared him down but he was unrelenting. He’d revealed his secret that could get both him and Bucky killed so the least she could do was give him a few military secrets.

After a minute of silence she rolled her eyes. “Fine. Hydra were waiting.”

“They tried to steal the serum?” He remembered Doctor Erskine mentioning Hydra on the day of Project Rebirth. The strange octopus symbol was seared into his brain.

Steve had been plagued with nightmares since he started his army training. Some nights he would be having an asthma attack, trapped under heavy ropes and barbed wire and surrounded by soldiers who would just laugh at him. Other nights he would be reliving the grenade incident, scared to death that he was about to be blown up but not being able to control his own body. That one was one of the most common. He dreamt about being stuck in a dark metal box, his body on fire and his skin morphing before his eyes into a monster and when he looked through the glass of the box he couldn’t recognise his own face. He dreamt that he was stuck in his smaller body being beaten to a pulp, men and women shouting ‘Queer!’ and ‘Faggot! and ‘Fairy!’ in his face. When he looked up at the men their faces became Bucky’s and he laughed a cruel laugh. More recently he dreamt of a strange octopus creature with a skull for a head. It started as a picture he sketched on paper but the charcoal creature would start to move and it’s long tentacles would pull him down into the paper as he gasped for air.  Out of all the things that had happened to him since joining the army, the nightmares were the worst.

Peggy’s pulled him from his thoughts. She didn’t seem to notice his sudden preoccupation.“Yes. They completely overpowered Barnes’ unit. A lot of men died. Most were taken as prisoners of war.” Bucky had been a prisoner of war? He wondered how many of the men he’d seen today had been prisoners, how many had watched their friends die on the battlefield.

“Shit… How long?”

“A couple of weeks.” Steve’s eyes widened, two weeks and Bucky had never even mentioned it. _Damn it Buck!_ He thought “There were others who were there longer. Apparently a man who looked like Jesus helped them escape.”

“Jesus?” His head tilted in confusion. Why would Jesus be saving American soldiers in Europe? Why wouldn’t he be helping the homeless or fighting for equality among men? Or bringing aid to hospitals and saving the dying?

“Private Jones swears by it. Tall, dark skinned, long hair and a beard.” Steve wondered if it was the same man that he’d seen before the war, the same man from the observation booth. Was he being followed? If he was Jesus what had Steve done to deserve his attention? It would make sense though, the man did have a habit of vanishing into thin air as suddenly as he appeared.

“Strange.” He mused.

“The doctors think it might have been a hallucination. They escaped though so that’s what matters. There’s something else though Steve.” His chest tightened at the tone of her voice. This was what she had been hiding from him. This was what she hadn’t wanted to tell him before.

“What?” Her eyes were somber and apologetic she glanced at the ground before answering his question.

“It’s about Barnes.” Her voice was barely over a whisper. _Bucky…_ His heart ached.

“What happened?” He sat down on his makeshift bed. His legs felt weak as the growing anxiety threatened to overcome him.

“Promise you won’t be overdramatic?” She teased trying to ease the tension but Steve was too worked up for it to break through the anxiety.

“I can’t do that.” He whispered; glancing up at her through his eyelashes.

“He was chosen by Dr Arnim Zola for some special treatment. Sergeant Barnes still hasn’t told us the details.” Steve let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes; his hands shaking in his lap.

“Torture?” _No!_

“Most likely. We think experimentation.” Her voice was soft and he felt her sit next to him. Her hands grasped his to stop the shaking.

“Shit!” He swore loudly. She flinched slightly at his sudden outburst but she held his hand tightly; resting her head on his shoulder. It reminded Steve of the night before the Serum when she had comforted him. “Why didn’t he tell me?” His voice was weak and cracked as he held back tears. His throat felt tight and his blood was racing through his veins.

“I imagine he was otherwise distracted by your… talking?” She teased gently and Steve blushed; his cheeks warm.

“Peggy!” He groaned and she laughed; the tension between them fell away. Steve was still furious that Bucky had been put through hell without him but he was comforted by the fact his friend, _boyfriend?,_ was safe now. He was sure hoping to rain hell down on this Zola guy though.

* * *

 

Steve had joined the other soldiers around the campfire. The stars were bright in the sky this far out in the country. Steve thought it was absolutely breathtaking, it wasn’t quite as good as sunset over the Hudson but it was damn close. He had managed to convince the Senator to postpone the tour whilst he caught up with his best friend on the front line. They’d only been given a couple of days but it was worth it. Unfortunately, to convince the Senator, Steve had to agree to being followed around by a film crew at all hours of the day, apparently someone thought a documentary of Captain America visiting real soldiers would be a great way of raising funds and publicity for the war effort. It meant that Steve and Bucky had barely had a moment to themselves and they’d only managed to sneak a few chaste kisses here and there. It was driving both men insane and every moment that passed they got more reckless; pulling each other into the nearest tent just to feel the heat of their bodies pressed against each other, lustful gazes across the fields, fingertips brushing as they walk side by side. As much as Steve hated to hide, it could admit there was a certain thrill to forbidden love. 

Luckily for Steve and Bucky, with the tour postponed, the show girls also had no rush to move onto the next venue. A group of leggy dancers and a whole unit of soldiers was a match made in heaven. Everyone was happily distracted which gave Steve and Bucky some cover; no one questioned dark figures crawling into tents at night. The first day after the disastrous performance Steve had been dragged around the base by Colonel Phillips, they posed over maps and strategies, they filmed him cleaning out weapons by the campfire, they had him hoist an American flag up a temporary flag pole. It was all ridiculous. Steve’s only stipulation was that Bucky was with him throughout the day; Captain America and Sergeant Barnes. They’d tried to fight him but he refused to leave his tent until they agreed. Bucky accused him of being overdramatic but he didn’t really care. So Bucky became his new sidekick and Steve laughed when they told him that they were already designing a ‘Bucky Bear’ as part of the new merchandise. Bucky was not so impressed.

Today was Steve’s second day with the 107th. Half the unit were out on a recon mission to an empty Nazi base nearby so they could plan the next full attack, which left Steve surrounded by Bucky’s new group of friends.

“So, Captain America huh?” Sergeant Dugan, a strong soldier with an impressive moustache, asked as he took a swig of whiskey from a hip flask.

Steve groaned. He hated his alias. Captain America was so dull. He had to agree with everything the Government said and promote ‘the American Way’. Steve thought it was fucking bollocks. “Call me Steve, please.” He pleaded, he really hoped Bucky’s friends could look passed the tights and uniform.

Bucky grinned at him. “What’s up Doll?” He drawled in a heavy Brooklyn accent. “You don’t like being a puppet for the Government?” He winked and Steve stared wide-eyed.

“Bucky!” He hissed. Bucky promised not to call him that in public!

“Relax Stevie. These guys are family.” Bucky’s eyes were sparkling like the winter’s sky. Steve couldn’t help but relax as he let himself get lost in Bucky’s eyes. If Bucky trusted these men then Steve had no reason to doubt him. It wasn’t until Dugan cleared his throat and they jumped apart that Steve realised how closed he’d gotten to Bucky. He blushed brightly; smiling apologetically at the group.

“It’s good to finally meet you, Steve” Dugan said with a smirk; allowing them to ignore their slip up.

“Likewise…” He paused whilst his brain re-engaged and he tried to remember where the conversation had been before he’d gotten distracted by his boyfriend. “I’m not a puppet Buck!” He said a little too defensively as his brain caught up.

“Sure thing, Captain Spangles.” Bucky teased and shuffled closer to Steve, making the hairs on Steve’s arm stand up. His body had become so aware of Bucky’s, he noticed every movement, every breath.

“Star-Spangled Man? Really. Who came up with that?” Jones asked. Steve shrugged. He hadn’t had much choice in the branding, he was just happy they hadn’t made him dress up with just the American Flag wrapped around him, although the tights weren’t much better.

“You’re the new face of America.” Morita hummed as he warmed his hands on the fire.

“Aka. Puppet” Falsworth added with a smile.

Steve rolled his eyes. They were incorrigible, no wonder Bucky got along with them so well. “I’m still Steve. Captain America is a character. He’s not me.”

“You’re keeping the outfit right?” Bucky chimed next to him with a flirtatious grin. Steve glared as he tried to contain his blush. They’d worked out on the first night that Bucky’s attraction to uniform extended to the Captain America suit. Steve would never forget the sight of Bucky on his knees in front of him with dark eyes and ruffled hair. The word ‘Captain’ had never been so sensual.

Steve swallowed as he pushed back the memory, Bucky’s fingers traced the inside of his thigh as if he knew where Steve’s mind had gone. “Have to.” Steve managed to stammer out. He gently pushed Bucky’s hand away and Bucky chuckled under his breath so quietly that only Steve’s enhanced hearing could hear him. “I’m back on tour tomorrow.”

“Can’t you stay?” Bucky whined and the others murmured their agreement. Steve felt a swell of pride in his chest. He’d never had a group of friends before and these soldiers had adopted him as one of their own within a day of meeting them. He wondered how much being his Captain America influenced them. “We could use a decent Captain.” Bucky purred the word ‘Captain’ and the other soldiers all wolf whistled causing Steve’s blush to deepened. He protested by knocking Bucky off the log he was perched on and everyone laughed at this disgruntled look on their esteemed Sergeant’s face.

“Steve!” Peggy interrupted the frivolous laughter. Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion as he took in the panicked look on her face. Her brown eyes met his in desperation.

“Peggy?” He got to his feet almost immediately and Bucky followed suit dusting off his dark green uniform.

“It’s Erskine.” Peggy whispered, barely managing to stay professional. 

“What happened?” Steve probed already formulating a plan of attack in his mind.

“We just got a telegram. Hydra have kidnapped him. Phillips won’t send out a rescue party.” Her eyes were like fire. She was obviously furious at the Colonel’s thoughtlessness and stupidity.

Steve cursed and ran his hands through his hair.“But the serum!”

“He doesn’t think it’s worth risking the lives of his men. He doesn’t understand what Hydra could do with it.” Peggy shot back. Steve knew what he had to do. This was his chance to escape the dancing monkey act that the Senator had chained him to. He opened his mouth ready to take charge of the rescue plan but Bucky beat him to it.

“We’ll get it back.” Bucky’s shoulders were tense and Steve could feel the rage emanating fro this body.

“Sergeant?” Peggy turned to Bucky in surprise, like she hadn’t noticed him there before.

“Zola wants that serum. I want him dead. We’ll get it back.” His voice was like ice. It wasn’t something Steve had ever heard in his friend before. The war had already changed him so much. Steve wanted to take the brunet in his arms and never let go, protecting him like Bucky had always protected him before the serum. 

Steve put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do this Bucky.”

“Are you going?” Bucky raised his eyebrow as he looked at him and Steve sighed in resignation.

“I have to. Erskine saved my life. I owe it to him.” He admitted

“Then I’m going with you.” And Steve couldn’t argue, he knew he would do the same for Bucky without hesitation.

“Us too!” Dugan stood up to join them. Bucky smiled gratefully. Peggy looked around at the mismatch group of Soldier’s in confusion. There had never been a unit quite like them.

“Speak for yourself Sarge.” Jones mumbled but also stood up to join the circle.

“Suck it up Jones” Dugan gave the young Private a hearty pat on the back.

“We’re a team. If Sarge is following Captain Spangles into battle then we follow too” Morita said with a smirk and Steve groaned at the use of his nickname.

“You really don’t have to.” He tried to reason but he knew it was no use.

“and let you take on the Nazis by yourself? Dream on, Captain.” Dugan laughed with a mock salute. Steve felt the warmth flood through him as he realised this was what having friends felt like.

“We do owe them one.” Falsworth added dryly. Steve remember that Falsworth had lost his whole troop to Zola and he’d been one of the first to be captured.

Dernier spoke to Jones in French with a grin and they all turned to Jones for the translation. “Fine. We’re both in.” He said, Dernier glared at the Private. “Ok ok… he said ‘It will be an honour to fight alongside you.’” Steve couldn’t believe his luck. How had he managed to earn the respect of these men in such a short time?

“That’s a fine team you have there, Captain.” Peggy spoke softly.

Steve took a deep breath. It was time for him to be a real Captain. He just hoped he was ready. “You ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”

“Hell, no.” Bucky laughed at they all stared him in disbelief but he just smiled fondly at Steve. “That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's that. Sorry it's a bit shorter than the previous chapters! It felt natural to end it there. Erskine getting captured is to allow Steve to become Captain America seeing as Bucky's already been rescued by Heimdall... who may or may not have been the one to send the telegram. Let me know what you think! I know it's a bit of a strange take of something that's been written a thousand times already. Comments make my day! Or come find me on Tumblr @Avengersbarnes


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Howlies go on a rescue mission when Schmidt manages to capture Erskine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I was working on Twitter Wars (social media Stucky Au) and Out of Love and Duty (P&P) I have too many WIPs. Anyway I hope you like it! I was not expected to go into so much detail. I swear it was going to be 20000 words top originally... but I got distracted by adding more Howling Commando scenes because honestly they are the best.

No one was really paying attention as Steve led Bucky’s small group of friends to the edge of the camp with Peggy by his side. Steve was stoically discussing the beginnings of a rescue plan with Peggy. There were trying to pin down the strengths and weaknesses within their mismatch group of soldiers. So far Steve’s plan was to go in all guns blazing, much to Peggy’s dismay. Bucky chuckled under his breath and rolled his eyes. Steve never changed, even with the super serum he always tried to take on battles that were bigger than him. Dum Dum gave him a questioning look and Bucky remembered the others couldn’t hear what Steve and Peggy were saying upfront. He’d forgotten to mention about the enhanced hearing he’d been blessed with as a result of Zola’s special treatment.

“Hey Steve!” He yelled to the blond who turned around to face him with a smile.  “I don’t think you’re wearing enough protective gear.” Peggy mouthed a ‘thank you’ in his direction and he gave her a quick wink.

Steve on the other hand just smiled back mischievously. “Last night you said I was wearing too much.” The group all groaned and rolled their eyes. Jones covered his ears with his hands and started singing.

“Will you two stop flirting for just one minute?” Dum Dum muttered with a tired laugh.

Bucky grinned, he knew they were happy for him really, after all he’d been telling them about his Steve since they’d been shipped out to England. They were just a little put out that Bucky had his partner with him whilst theirs were all back at home. Steve smiled widely, clearly in a good mood despite the danger and the upcoming mission. 

“Sergeant Dugan is right.” Peggy said with a steely glare at the two of them as they brushed their fingers together, not quite holding hands but close enough “We need to make a plan. Erskine is deep within Hydra territory Steve.” 

“And you need a helmet at least!” Bucky chimed in, as beautiful as Steve’s blond hair was, he would prefer it if Steve’s head didn’t get riddled with bullets. 

Steve rolled his eyes and clapped him on the back with a strong hand. “Stop worrying about me. I heal fast.” He laughed, his hand lingering on Bucky’s shoulder a little longer than it should have. 

“Stop worrying, stop worrying” Bucky flailed his arms in disbelief. “Steve our entire relationship was founded on me worrying about you!” How on earth did this mad man expect him to stop worrying? If it wasn’t pulling Steve out of back alley fights, it was spending hours by his bedside praying he would wake up before he had to call the priest. Bucky could barely remember his life before Steve and he was pretty sure that most of his time with Steve was spent making sure he didn’t get his dumbass killed.

“I saved your sister.” Steve stated calmly with a smirk. Bucky rolled his eyes, Steve had been using that against him for seven years already and he had a feeling that Steve would never give it up.

“You used yourself as bait” Bucky cried in despair. The other men were looking at them strangely, trying to work out the odd dynamic that their relationship had. They’d heard of Captain America, America’s hero and Nazi killer, they’d seen a part of the show with Steve performing in tights and knocking out Hitler but they had never really met the sarcastic little shit from Brooklyn that was Steve Rogers in all his Irish, skinny ass glory. 

“Great plan Bucky. Jones!” Steve patted Gabe on the back and the smaller man looked up at him with suspicious eyes. 

“Yes Sir?” 

“Grab me one of the girls helmets from backstage.” Gabe nodded and ran back to the tent where the show girls kept all they props from the USO tour. “Morita?”

“Captain?” Jim said with a cheerful salute. Bucky could hear the unsaid ‘Spangles’ in his friend’s voice.

“Make sure Jones doesn’t get distracted by the girls -” They all laughed at that and Morita sprinted off to catch up with Gabe. “-There. Plan and a helmet. Lets go.” Steve stalked off out front with the rest of the team in tow. Bucky trotted to catch up so they were walking side by side, he shared a look with Peggy as they both wondered how they were going to stop Steve from doing something unbelievably stupid.

“How are you planning to get deep into enemy territory? We can’t exactly steal a tank?” Bucky pushed, desperately trying to get Steve to think this through. He wanted to save this Doctor guy as much as Steve and lord knows he wanted a shot at Arnim Zola but he’d already lost too many men to Hydra. He really didn’t want to lose anymore. 

“We’ll walk.” Steve replied as if walking miles into Austrian Hydra territory was as easy as taking a trip to Coney Island. 

“It’s miles!” Bucky cried. He wondered what it would take to knock some sense into Steve. Clearly the super soldier serum that had done wonders for his body had had no effect on his self preservation, if anything it had made it worse. He recalled Steve telling him that the Serum enhanced everything, that’s why Eskine had chosen Steve over the other soldiers. Steve was a good man at the very centre of his heart and the serum would only bring that out more. Finally the rest of the world could see in Steve what Bucky had always known was there. 

“I could get us a ride.” Peggy added thoughtfully. “I do know the best civilian pilot the US has to offer.” Steve smiled fondly down at her. Bucky couldn’t believe it. Peggy was betraying him! How was he supposed to keep Steve safe if she just offered a plane ride right at him. 

“Call em in.” Peggy nodded and began to make her way back to base so she could call in her friend. “We’ll walk in the meantime. Get far enough away from camp that no one will notice us then your ride will pick us up.” 

“Who is it Carter?” Falsworth called and she spun round on her heels to answer with a smile. Bucky pondered how she managed to wear those things without getting stuck in the mud. The girl did not get enough credit. 

“Howard Stark.” She called back and Bucky’s brain went into overdrive.

“Stark? Howard Stark?! Like flying cars and science genius!” Bucky couldn’t believe it. 

He was going to meet Howard Stark. He thought back to his science magazine collection back in Brooklyn. Steve had never understood his fascination with the genius that was Howard Stark but he was in total awe of the man. His weapons were state of the art, powerful and sleek, he was constantly changing the way the world viewed technology and energy. Stark Industries pretty much owned America, all car engines were Stark’s, the radio broadcasts used Stark technology to make the sound clearer, even the docks used machinery branded by Stark. Bucky poured over the magazines, the man was discovered new atoms almost every year and his work with electromagnets was just amazing and now Bucky was going to get a chance to meet him. 

“Yes James… that’s the one” Peggy said curiously and Steve rolled his eyes at his obviously excitement. 

“Aww man I gotta get his autograph” Bucky whispered in wonder. Peggy laughed and said something about not needing to feed Howard’s ego.

“You didn’t ask for my autograph?” Steve pouted. 

Bucky laughed and put his arm around Steve’s shoulder and ruffled his hair. “I’ve wiped snot off your nose… I think we’re passed autographs.”

“Bucky!” Steve whined as he flushed a beautiful red colour in embarrassment

“What?” Bucky smiled innocently and quickly placed a kiss on Steve’s hair. 

“You’re such a jerk.” Steve mumbled but leaned into Bucky anyway. 

Bucky laughed and pushed his friend away teasingly. “You’re such a punk, don’t see me complaining.”

* * *

Stark’s plane was not a big one, it certainly wasn’t big enough for Captain America, six fully grown soliders, Peggy Carter and a pilot. So they were all huddled close together with their knees up to their chests as they went through the final touches to the plan Steve had reluctantly put together. Bucky was half convinced his best friend was being stubborn on purpose, surely Steve knew they needed to think this through. They weren’t in Brooklyn anymore, this was war. Steve had split the team into three groups, it had been decided that if they were breaking into a Hydra Facility then they at least needed to gather some intel so they wouldn’t be totally in the shit when they got back to base. Bucky was slightly nervous that the Colonel was gonna shoot every single one of them if they managed to return from this mission. Hopefully the Colonel wouldn’t be dumb enough to shoot Senator Brandt’s new poster boy for America, the rest of them probably didn’t stand a chance. 

“Doctor Erskine was last seen being pushed into a Hydra vehicle just outside of Krausberg.” Peggy was saying to the rest of the group. Bucky felt his heart sink and the colour faded from his face. No one had mentioned that they were going back to the same factory they had just escaped. “We’re not sure but intelligence sources indicates he’s being held in the same factory as the 107th” Peggy had the decency to look apologetic and the rest of the soldiers groaned. 

“Krausberg…” Bucky whispered and Steve grabbed his hand, stroking circles with this thumb. Bucky looked up and smiled weakly. Steve’s ocean blue eyes were gazing at him sadly and Bucky desperately wanted to reach up and kiss him to let him know he was gonna be alright but he didn’t quite trust Stark enough. Peggy had said he could be trusted with their secret but Bucky, as much as he idolised him, wasn’t sure. They barely knew the man apart from that he helped turn Steve into a weapon for the US Government. 

“We should be able to drop you right on the doorstep.” Stark called from the pilot’s chair at the front of the plane. 

“No offence Stark but we just got off that doorstep.” Dugan yelled back over the noise of the engine. The rest of the soldiers muttered in agreement. The thought of going back to where they had only just escaped was not a pleasant one.

“Nobody has to leave this plane if they don’t want to” Steve told the group, even now he was giving them a way out. He was also so damn noble.  The sky outside turned into a firework show as the Germans noticed the foreign plane in their air space. Howard only just managed to dodge a missile and they all instinctively ducked for cover.  “Just get me as close as you can!” Steve yelled at Stark before turning to Agent Carter.  “You know, you are all gonna be in a lot of trouble at the lab.” 

“And you won’t?” Peggy raised a sculpted eyebrow up at his blond idiot. Steve tilted his head and grinned. 

“Where I’m going, if anybody yells at me I can just shoot em” Bucky wanted to grab the idiot and drag his ass back to Brooklyn. How did they end up on a tiny plane in Europe about to go on a suicide mission? 

“They will undoubtedly shoot back” Peggy responded and Steve had the audacity to laugh. 

“Well, let’s hope it’s good for something” Steve lifted his shield and gave her a wink. Bucky’s heart was racing. The damn idiot thought he could deflect bullets with a fucking theatre prop. He wasn’t even wearing any armour. He was going to get himself killed. Bucky struggled to catch his breath as another missile narrowly avoided the plane. In an instant Bucky found himself back in the lab, Zola’s shadow looming over him and a long needle glinting in the darkness. “Buck? You alright?” Bucky blinked and tried to focus on Steve’s voice. He realised he had the blond’s hand in a death grip but Steve didn’t seem to care.

“Krausberg” He whispered weakly. 

“Yeah… I know.” Steve replied softly. “You can stay on the plane” Bucky shook his head. That wasn’t an option and Steve knew it. 

“The hell I can. I’m coming with you. I’m with you til the end of the line, pal.” Steve smiled softly and gave him a firm pat on the shoulder. Bucky nodded and gave his friend a weak smile. He could do this, with Steve by his side he could do anything. 

“Agent Carter, if we’re not in too much of a hurry I thought we could stop off in Lucerne for a late night fondue.” Stark called breaking the tension in the air. Steve’s brow furrowed and opened his mouth to say something but Dum Dum beat him to it. 

“He’s the best civilian? That guy?” They all laughed. Bucky adored Howard as a scientist but had taken them all about ten seconds to realised the man was an arsehole; a great man but not always a good one.

“He’s mad enough to brave this airspace, we’re lucky to have him.” Peggy said matter-of-factly and Howard gave them all a quick salute and cheeky grin. Bucky wondered what exactly he saw in the crazy man, then he remembered he seemed to have a thing for reckless idiots. He was never going to get out of this war alive.  

“So are you two…? Do you…? Fondue?” Steve asked hesitantly and everyone stared at him. Bucky was barely able to hold in a laugh. Steve had been poorer than he was but surely he knew fondue was cheese? Did he think Stark was propositioning Agent Carter in the middle of a mission. Steve blushed as he noticed everyone’s stares “What?” Bucky brought Steve’s hand to his lips and pressed a quick kiss to his gloved hand. 

“I’ll explain later punk.” He whispered in Steve’s ear which only made Steve blush more. 

“This is your transponder.” Peggy handed Steve a device, ignoring his strange fondue comment. “Activate it when you’re ready and the signal will lead us straight to you.”

“Are you sure this thing works?” Steve asked and Howard rolled his eyes. 

**“** It’s been tested more than you, pal.” Steve sighed and they all laughed. 

The mad genius had a point. No one was really sure what effects the serum would have on Steve in an actual battle environment. So far the most he’d had to do was lift up and few girls on a motorbike. It wasn’t exactly the same as taking on Hydra agents in enemy territory and who knows how much success Zola had had with his own version of the serum since Bucky had escaped from the factory. Bucky wondered how many people Zola had experimented on before him, how many survived? Had he been the only one whose body hadn’t given out under the extreme chemical torture? Would he have survived if the dark stranger hadn’t saved him? A voice in the back of his mind told him that this would be a very different rescue mission if he hadn’t been freed. He had a vision of Steve sat in this small plane all on his own, not knowing whether Bucky was dead or alive, never having kissed him. He saw Steve storming the Hydra factory all by himself trying to find him. Would he have found him? Bucky had been kept apart from the other men, if he’d found the others without him would Steve have assumed he was dead? 

“Get back here! We’re taking you all the way in.” Peggy’s voice interrupted his thoughts. Steve was in the doorway of the plane pulling a parachute over his shoulders, watching the gunfire in the sky.

“As soon as I’m free, you turn this thing around and get the hell outta here!” Steve yelled back. _Oh no._ Bucky thought. He recognised that look in Steve’s eyes. It was the same look he had just before he did something stupid. Bucky scrambled to find his own parachute.

“You can’t give me orders!” Peggy said firmly but Steve just grinned. _Don’t you fucking dare Steven Grant Rogers…_

“The hell I can’t! I’m a Captain!” And he jumped, falling backwards out of the plane with a salute. 

“STEVE!” Bucky launched out after him without thinking. He was going to kill the blond idiot himself once they reached the ground. 

* * *

Bucky had opened his parachute too late. He’d known it when he pulled the strap, the ground was approaching too fast but with gunfire in the air it had been safer to hit the ground hard than spend anymore time floating to the ground. Plus Steve had barely pulled his parachute strap and Bucky was determined not to be outdone by a scrappy kid from Brooklyn so he waited until the last possible moment. Bucky was regretting that decision now. He was pretty sure he’d fractured at least one of the bones in his legs and his knees were screaming in pain. He sat in the dirt and watched the others land safely next to them, expertly guiding their parachutes into the gap in the trees. Steve, looking like a blond God, walked over to him and helped him to his feet, a strong hand grasped around his arm. Bucky hissed in pain as he took a few hesitant steps forward.

“Fucking hell…” Bucky cussed under his breath as he dusted himself off. Thankfully he could already feel his body healing itself. He guessed he could thank Zola for that.

“Everyone ok?” Steve’s eyes met his in concern. Even now a smirk danced across his face, damn idiot was enjoying this. 

“No thanks to you.” Bucky muttered.

“The rest of us had the brains to wait til Stark brought the plane in lower.” Dugan laughed at him as he folded his parachute back into his backpack. 

“But not Sarge.” Jones chirped with a stupid grin. 

“Jumped straight after you.” Morita added. Bucky was starting to feel decidedly ganged up on. Weren’t these men supposed to be his friends first?

“Barely had time to grab his parachute.” Falsworth joined in the hate on Bucky brigade. 

“Shut up.” Bucky muttered and kicked dirt at his friends. It was childish but it made him feel better. 

“You’re an idiot Sarge.” Dum Dum rolled his eyes at him. 

“He’s my idiot.” Steve smirked and gave him a quick nudge. Bucky did not blush, he was a soldier and deadly sniper and snipers do not blush.  “Everyone remember their orders?” 

“Aye aye Captain!” The troop all yelled in unison and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. How had Steve managed to unite such a crazy misfit group of soldiers on a mission to find one man?

“Me and Jones are in charge of weapons, get as much as we can then get to the rendezvous point.” Dugan reported with ease as he inspected his gun.

“Good. Falsworth?” Steve, no, Captain America pointed to the Englishman.

“Dernier and I are looking for intel, any Hydra plans, schematics, locations of bases. Then meet at the rendezvous.” Falsworth rattled off easily.

Cap nodded. “Good. Morita, Barnes and I are going after Erskine. Jim’s got us all linked up on radios with the help of Stark. You’re gonna talk to each other every step of the way. You need help. shout. We’ve got each others backs. Now break. Good luck Soldiers.” The four other men ran off towards the factory leaving Bucky, Jim and Steve. Bucky stared at his lover in awe. He’d always known Steve was incredible but watching him take command with such ease had been beautiful. 

“When did you get a chance to practise that?” Bucky bumped into Steve playfully. 

“I didn’t.” Steve ran his fingers through his hair with an awkward lopsided smile. Bucky laughed in wonder. How did this man go from magnificent army Captain to awkward shy Brooklyn idiot in seconds. 

“But you’re not a soldier.” Bucky couldn’t help but wonder how Steve had managed to rally the men without an ounce of leadership training. 

Steve smirked and Bucky saw Captain America’s persona fall back over his friend’s features .“I’ve knocked out Adolf Hitler over two hundred times.” 

Bucky was doomed.

* * *

Steve tried to ignore his pounding heart. He had expected old factory to be more abandoned following the rescue of the 107th but Hydra had regrown in the old building. The place was crawling with agents, none of whom were happy to see America’s new national icon. He prayed that the rest of the team were holding out alright. He wasn’t sure he could live with himself if the ended up getting recaptured breaking into the same place they’d only just managed to escape with the help of the tall handsome stranger. 

He was grateful for the shield Jones had grabbed from backstage. It felt right in his hands and made a very effective weapon when combined with his new found strength. Steve left a trail of broken-nosed bloody Hydra agents behind him and any that didn’t get instantly knocked out Bucky would shoot through the head with deadly precision. Steve tried not to look in Bucky’s eyes after he made the shot. His winter blue irises were cold like steel and not full of warmth like they should be. Steve realised in that moment how much the war had already affected the young charming man he’d met in the back alley in Brooklyn. 

Bucky directed him through the maze of corridors as Dum Dum and Falsworth kept them updated on their progress. They were a little beaten up but there were no casualties so far and Dum Dum had apparently hit the jackpot on Hydra’s weapons. Eventually, Steve entered a small concrete room. It was dark and the thick scent of blood hit Steve like a tidal wave. He struggled to stop the nausea from overcoming him. Bucky had been here, in this room. There was a small table in the corner filled with strange looking metal instruments and needles. He glanced at Bucky who had gone very pale but showed no sign of backing down. 

“Steven?” Doctor Erskine was lying on the gurney, held down by leather straps. The remains of a metal cuff lay broken on the floor. Steve ran over to the older man and pulled off the straps with ease. 

“Hello Doctor. Sorry I’m late.” He pulled the man to his feet and Erskine threw his arms around Steve’s broad shoulder to help support him.

“You shouldn’t be here Steven. The serum.” Erskine’s voice was weak and Steve felt rage pulse through him. He wanted to hurt the people who had hurt the man who had saved his life. 

“I couldn’t leave you. Come on. We gotta get out of here.” They stumbled out of the makeshift lab. 

“Schmidt!” Erskine cried desperately. Steve took a deep breath, he had not been expecting to encounter the Doctor’s failed attempt at the Serum. He hoped that he’d be able to hold the other man off in a fight, he’d relied so far on being stronger than his opponent but he knew that wouldn’t be an option against Johann Schmidt.

“We’ll handle it. Come on!” Steve hoped he sounded more confident than he felt. 

They walked together towards the exit with Morita and Bucky guarding their backs. Steve hoped they gotten rid of most the Hydra goons on the way in but so far there was no sign of Johann or Zola. They were stumbling up metal stairs when he saw them. The heat of the fire caused by the collapsing building burned against his skin and he could feel the beads of sweat dripping down his face. 

“Captain America! How exciting! I’m a great fan of your films.” A tall stern looking man with a thick German accent called across the room, a large crevice stood between them from where the floor had fallen through. 

“Schmidt!” Steve called out. Jim took Erskine’s weight from Steve and he ran towards the other super soldier, the metal platform creaked under their combined weight. 

“Zola” Bucky growled from behind him and vaulted easily across the room to chase after the mousy looking scientist that was making a break for it. 

“So you managed it after all, Doctor.” Schmidt smirked as he took in Steve’s appearance.  “Not exactly an improvement, but still impressive.” 

**“** You’ve got no idea.” Steve threw a punch at the man but it was easily blocked. Steve stumbled backwards, not used to being met with equal force. 

“Haven’t I?” Schmidt, to Steve’s disgust, pulled at the flesh of his neck. Steve realised he was wearing a mask, a very convincing one, as Schmidt proceeded to pull of the skin of his face; revealing a grotesque shining red skeleton behind. “No matter what lies Erskine told you, you see I was his greatest success!” 

**“** You don’t have one of those, do you?” Bucky called from where he trying to get to Zola who was shooting at him from the stairs. 

**“** You are deluded, Captain. You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind.” Schmidt started backing away from Steve as Zola managed to slip away from Bucky. Bucky roared in frustration as he lunged, unsuccessfully, at the Swiss scientist.  “Unlike you, I embrace it proudly. Without fear!” Steve grimaced as Schmidt ran after Zola and towards the exit. The building shuddered around them, debris falling from the ceiling. 

**“** Then how come you’re running?” Steve yelled after Schmidt’s retreating figure.

“Steven, the building…” Erskine called from where he was sheltering with Jim. 

“Captain Spangles, Doctor’s right.” Jim nodded in agreement as Steve blocked some falling debris with his shield. “The building is about to blow. We gotta get out of here.” He added.

“Bucky?” Steve called after his friend who was punching the stairs where Zola and Schmidt had disappear on the other side of the crevice. 

“The fucker got away, but I got a tracker in his suit.” Bucky growled as he clung onto the metal staircase.

“A tracker?” Steve raised his eyebrow, trying to picture what Bucky meant by that. 

“Stark, explain later. Get your cute ass over here.” Steve laughed as Jim groaned behind them. Apparently even in a life and death situation Bucky Barnes had time to flirt. 

“Ok. One at a time, Doctor Erskine. Do you think you can climb?” 

Erskine nodded and assessed the beam in front of him. He looked warily over the edge and frowned. “I’ll be fine Steven.” Steve wasn’t convinced but they didn’t have much choice. Hopefully Bucky would be able to help from the other side.

“Bucky, support the beam your end.” Bucky nodded and leapt down to the edge of the gap. He held the metal beam firmly in his hands and his blue eyes met Steve’s “Doctor first, Jim you’ll go next.” 

Silence fell between them as Erskine made he way across the beam. His almost stumbled a couple of times and Steve held his breath in anticipation. The only sound was the rumble of the building falling around them and the roar of the flames. No one dared to move as the doctor edged closer towards Bucky. As he got near the edge Bucky reached out his hand and pulled the Doctor onto the solid ground. Jim took a deep breath and began his journey. Steve was more confident as Jim shuffled across, he was steadier on his feet and less hesitant. Still Steve wouldn’t feel completely happy until they were all back to base with the serum safe from Hydras hands. The beam creaked under Jim’s weight as the whole building shook. A large chunk of ceiling fell on the beam and Jim leapt for his life, barely landing on the ledge as the beam fell into the pit below and the flames engulfed it. Bucky cried in despair as the watched Steve’s only form of escape disappear. Steve’s heart sank, they’d made it so far. How had he thought he was ever good enough to be a soldier? Serum or no serum he was still just a kid from Brooklyn who never knew how to run away from a fight.

“No!” Bucky screamed and frantically started looking around them. “Gotta be a rope or something!” Steve shook his head and tried to memorise Bucky’s face. 

**“** Just go! Get out of here!” He yelled. Bucky couldn’t die here with him. Bucky had to survive. 

If he was going to die in this hell hole he wanted to at least die with Bucky’s perfectly sculpted face in his mind. He wanted to remember the exact colour of his eyes, piercing blue like the colour of the winter sky that were always full of so much emotion. Bucky’s eyes that could tell a story better than a thousand words or a whole library full of books. Bucky’s lips that he had finally kissed, that had explored his body with such hunger, that uttered his name with reverence and adoration, that were warm and soft against his when they both struggled to catch a breath. Bucky’s hair that was soft and smelt like cigarettes and moss, that shone bronze when the summer sun hit it, that eliciting such delightful moans of pleasure when Steve tugged at the strands when they kissed. Bucky’s body strong and toned, that pressed up against his with desperation, the feel of Bucky’s skin against his as they tried to express a lifetime of suppressed feelings.

Bucky, as always, was looking out for him. “No! Not without you!” He yelled back, tears welling up in his beautiful, haunted eyes. 

Steve sighed and glanced around him. There was really nothing to help him. He only had one choice, it would never work but he had to try. He took a few steps back and gaged the distance. God he was so fucked. Even with his new body and strength he was certain this wasn’t going to work. Maybe if he could leap just far enough that Bucky and Jim could grab his hands. That might work. So with one final deep breath he ran and pushed hard off the ground. He didn’t look down as he soared through the air…

… And landed.

He’d done it. 

He couldn’t believe it.

Through a dizzy haze he heard the others cheering and Bucky’s arms were around his neck. Steve blinked and returned his boyfriends embrace, instinctively pressing his lips to the bronze strands of hair. They were alive. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/Comments are my fav. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at Avengersbarnes. (Lots of Marvel, mostly Stucky)


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky and Steve are both really tired and need to learn how to communicate emotions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... this gets a little sad but all will be well I promise :) Again some dialogue is taken from CATFA but most is mine. I can't Science as well as Howard though. Where's Tony Stark when you need him? Anyhoo... enjoy!

Steve wasn’t quite sure how his team had managed to escape Colonel Phillip’s wrath but he’d finally been able to convince the man that he was worth more to the army as a soldier than a dancing monkey. Once Erskine had been returned safely to base, the Colonel had sought out his mismatched team. They had all stood like schoolboys outside of the headmasters office, heads down, shuffling nervously from toe to toe. Steve, predictably had gotten off lightly compared to his team. He’d taken all of the blame, which had prevented the Colonel from shooting them all right there and then. It hadn’t been enough for them to escape lunch and cleaning duty for entire 107th for at least a week. The Colonel had wanted to spare Steve from the same fate but Steve refused. If the Colonel wanted to punish them he’d have to punish him too.

So that’s the story of how Captain America got caught, on film, serving sloppy stew to the soldiers of the 107th. Years later historians would wonder why the great Captain America had wasted time making food when he could have been out fighting Red Skull. The official story was that it boosted morale and the Captain had insisted on doing his part for the Army. They omitted the fact that good, lawful Captain America had gone awol to save a German scientist. 

Still, Steve was just happy to finally be given a chance to fight. He’d been celebrating with Bucky and the team last night at an old tavern when Peggy had walked in. She’d looked gorgeous, the red dress had fit nicely over her curves and the colour looked vibrant and beautiful against her skin. Steve was suddenly very grateful that his colour blindness had been cured, colours were truly magical. Her soft brown hair was in looser curls and fell like silk over her shoulder. Steve was utterly captivated when she walked in the door. She smiled softly and Steve felt his cheeks warm, he still couldn’t believe how much this beautiful gorgeous smart woman had supported him and Bucky. He looked over at Bucky and laughed. Bucky had the same look on his face that Steve was sure was on his. His piercing blue gaze took in Peggy’s form. Steve tried not to feel jealous. He knew he’d been looking the same way just seconds ago but it was difficult to squash the green monster that was bubbling up. His fingers brushed against Bucky’s hand and his blue eyes turned to him. Bucky blushed and he smiled sheepishly as his eyes roamed over Steve’s body. Bucky hooked his little finger around Steve’s for a moment as they both greeted Peggy. She had laughed at them both and teased them for being so obviously stunned when she walked in the room. 

Luckily for Steve and Bucky, Peggy had agreed to cover for them. She openly flirted with Steve in front of the other soldiers, especially when the film crew were around. Steve had tried, awkwardly to flirt back but his heart wasn’t in it and he had never really cracked talking to women. That had always been Bucky’s speciality. Peggy was grateful for the cover herself, she’d confided in them that she’d recently been seeing one of the nurses that Bucky remembered from his time in the medical bay. Steve was happy for her, he thought it was really cute the way Peggy blushed when talking about her new dame. 

Peggy had informed Steve that Stark needed to see him down at the SSR labs in the morning, which is how Steve had found himself lost in the maze that was the underground SSR facility.

“Excuse me. I’m looking for Mr. Stark.” Steve asked a pretty blonde who was flicking through news paper on her desk. She glanced up at him with striking emerald green eyes. Steve shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, it was a look he was used to since the USO tour but it was something he never quite understood. He really hadn’t changed much since the serum. Sure he was a little taller and he could breath properly but his face was basically the same, just a little fuller. 

“He’s in with Colonel Phillips. Of course you’re welcome to wait.” Steve guessed he didn’t have much choice. He’d only just found the right place and he didn’t really fancy walking all the way back upstairs. He hovered awkwardly in the hall, wishing that Bucky had been here with him but he was busy cleaning out the rifles with the rest of his team. “I read about what you did.” The girl, a private judging by her uniform, broke the uncomfortable silence. 

She waved the newspaper at him. Steve saw his own face glaring back, Bucky by one side and Erskine on the other. Steve remembered reading the article. It has gone on and on about how Steve was a hero for putting his life on the line to save one guy. It spoke about Erskine’s scientific achievements and his pledge to help defeat the Nazis. The article omitted Erskine’s work on the Serum but did mention that the rescue had indirectly stopped Hydra and Hitler from winning the war. Steve was made into a real life hero in one article, not just a character in the comic books anymore. 

“Oh!” Steve replied to the blonde who was stalking towards him. He took a step back trying desperately to put some space between them. “The…yeah! Well, that’s you know? Just doing what needed to be done.” He tried to normalise the rescue but she was relentless. 

“Sounded like more than that. You saved a great man and probably countless others.” Her fingers traced the muscles in his arm. Steve looked around, noting they were very much alone in the corridor. He hoped Howard would be out soon.

“Really, it’s not a big deal.” Steve stuttered.

“Tell that to their wives.” She whispered. Her green eyes were dark with hunger. Steve could admit she was an attractive girl and another time he might have been interested but he had Bucky or, as everyone else though, Peggy.

“Uh…I don’t think they are all married.” Steve almost rolled his eyes at himself. It was a feeble comeback and he knew it but his brain was scrambling to think of any excuse to stop her advances. He couldn’t exactly tell her that he was in a homosexual relationship with his second in command. 

“You’re a hero.” She whispered in a way that was no doubt meant to be sexual. 

“Well, that…you know?” Steve shrugged “That…that depends on the definition of it really.” 

“The women of America, they owe you their thanks. And uh…seeing as they’re not here.” She grabbed his tie and pulled him behind a filing cabinet. 

Steve was a little stunned. He’d never had someone flirt with his so forcefully before. Before he knew it her lips were on his. She kissed him passionately, desperately trying to deepen the kiss. Steve felt her tongue brush against his lip, it was something that Bucky often did and Steve would gladly part his lips, but this was not Bucky and he did not want this. He grabbed the girls waist, ready to push her back off of him but it was too late.

“Captain!” Peggy called. The girl jumped off of him and he stumbled backwards in shock, looking up at Peggy’s face, she was fuming. “We’re ready for you. If you’re not otherwise occupied.” 

“Agent Carter, wait.” Steve ran after her, desperately trying to straighten out his uniform from where the girl had clawed at it. 

“Captain” Peggy replied coldly, not even looking at him. 

Steve caught her hand and she spun round to face him. He stared at her, pleading with his eyes, begging her to understand. “Peggy, that’s not what you thought it was.”

“I don’t think anything, Captain.” She pulled her hand away. “Not one thing. You always wanted to be soldier and now you are. Just like all the rest.” 

Steve’s heart was racing, a deep ache pulsed in his chest. His vision started to go blurry as he suddenly struggled to catch a breath. _Bucky…_

The thought swirled round his mind on repeat. Bucky couldn’t find out. He couldn’t ever face him if he found out. He could see it now, the hate in his lover’s eyes. The cold, unyielding loathing in his voice. Steve would never again feel the warmth of Bucky’s skin against his or wake up with the smell of Bucky on his pillow. 

“Please don’t say anything… to you know who” His voice cracked as he pleaded with her. 

Peggy raised her eyebrow, her beautiful brown eyes, cold as ice. “So you do have something to hide”

“No… no… She just. I… it wasn’t… I didn’t want that.” He couldn’t find the words. He knew he could have pushed the girl off of him. He was Captain America after all, strong enough to lift at least four girls on a motorbike but he hadn’t known how to without hurting her feelings. God he was such an idiot!

“Then you’ll tell Jemima” _Jemima?_ Steve thought. He realised with a start that she meant Bucky, like how the men had called him Stephanie before he’d arrived so that Bucky could talk to them about their letters. 

“I can’t” He whispered, afraid of everything that he could lose. He stared down at the floor, wishing that it would open up and he could fall through. Maybe he could go back, stop the kiss from happening, arrive just a little bit later. He could have stayed to help Bucky clean out the sniper rifles, he wasn’t as good or as precise as Bucky but Bucky could teach him. 

“Why not?” Peggy’s voice was softer than before. He risked looking back up at her. Her eyes were questioning like she was finally willing to understand, like she wanted him to have a good explanation. 

“I can’t lose hi…her, Peggy.” Steve stuttered over the pronoun, blushing as he almost made the mistake. He glanced around nervously to make sure no one had heard him but everyone was too busy working.

“Tell her Captain or you won’t get a chance to explain” She stated firmly and walked away. 

“Peggy please!” Steve called after her. 

Howard was suddenly at his side and the smaller man patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. “The moment you think you know what’s going on in a woman’s head, it’s the moment your goose is well and truly cooked.” 

Steve wondered what he meant by that. Howard probably thought he had been having a lover’s spat with Peggy. Despite the fact that they’d never done more than hold hands, or kiss each other’s cheeks, the whole unit were convinced they were an item. Of course, they’d orchestrated the whole thing but Steve still had to wonder. 

“Me, I concentrate on work.” Howard continued “Which at the moment is about making sure you and your men do not get killed. Carbon polymer.” Howard gestured at a piece of fabric that was lying on the work bench. Steve picked up the fabric and gave it a tug. It looked pretty ordinary to him. “Should withstand your average German bayonet.” or maybe not so ordinary “Although Hydra’s not going to attack you with a pocket knife.” Steve replaced the greyish blue fabric and they continued walking onto the next table. A variety of red, white and blue shields were laid out on the bench. He smiled fondly. “I hear you’re uh… kinda attached?” Howard asked, he had a bewildered expression on his face like he didn’t quite understand Steve’s chosen weapon. Steve guessed that was because Howard made high-tech guns and super soldiers for a living. 

“It’s handier than you might think.” Steve brushed the paintwork of the first shield, the one he’d stolen from USO tour. The paint was flaking and there were cracks from where the bullets had hit the wood. 

“I took the liberty of coming up with some options.” Howard rolled his eyes and moved the wooden shield away from Steve and handed him a fancy looking metal one. “This one’s fun. She’s been fitted with electrical relays. It’ll allow you to…” Steve grimaced, he really didn’t want any of the complicated shenanigans that Stark had. 

He’d started fighting with just his fists in Brooklyn and that’s how he wanted to continue. He fondly remembered picking up the trashcan lid to use as a shield when the fight had gotten tough. He looked at the options on the bench, they all had lights and buttons, really not his style at all. He spotted a flash of silver from underneath the work bench. It round and shiny but Steve couldn’t see any Stark upgrades. He picked it up, interrupting Stark’s monologue about his fancy electric shield. 

“What about this one?” He asked as he tested the weight of it. He knew he had super strength but Steve was surprised by how light the metal was, surely it couldn’t be that great at stopping bullet or whatever else Hydra was going to shoot at them. He wondered that maybe that was why Howard had hidden it away. 

“No! No! That’s just a prototype.” Howard whined as he saw what Steve was holding. 

Steve grinned at Howard’s obvious discuss. He threw the shield between his hands. “What’s it made of?” He asked.

“Vibranium. It’s stronger than steel and a third of the weight. It’s completely vibration absorbent.” Howard ran his fingers through his hair as he explained. Vibranium, Steve thought it sounded like some kind of alien but he was pretty sure aliens hadn’t made it to earth yet. He wondered what they would be like. He sure hoped they would be friendlier than humans.

"How come it’s not a standard issue?” Steve was actually impressed, Bucky would be proud of him, if they were still talking by the end of the day.

“That’s the rarest metal on Earth. What you’re holding there? That’s all we’ve got.” Howard shrugged. Steve looked again at the shield in awe. Howard Stark had gotten his hands on the rarest metal on Earth. It must have cost him a small fortune unless he’d mined it himself and for some reason Steve couldn’t see Howard being the mining type. It was the rarest metal on Earth and Howard Stark, tech genius, had turned it into a shield. Steve was beginning to wonder if there was more to this man than the arrogant scientist millionaire that he portrayed. 

“You quite finished, Mr. Stark?” Peggy called as she entered the room. Both men spun round to face her. “I’m sure the Captain has some unfinished business.” Peggy had her hands on her hips and an unamused expression on her face. Steve frowned slightly as he realised she was still cross with him. He held the silver shield up in front of him, hoping to break the ice that had formed between them.

_“_ What do you think?” He asked playfully but Peggy did not take the bait. She raised an eyebrow and grabbed a pistol off the work bench next to her. Steve only just managed to get the shield in front of his face as she fire three shots in quick succession. Steve winced as the bullet bounced of the metal. The sound rang in his ears. The enhanced hearing was a blessing in some aspects and he certainly didn’t miss being deaf in one ear but the sharp precision of the ringing metal in his ears was painful. 

“Yes. I think it works.” Peggy stated as she replaced the pistol and strode back out of the room. 

Steve and Howard watched her leave in a stunned silence. Once his head stopped ringing Steve pulled a torn up piece of paper from his pocket. He’d been working with Bucky to rework his uniform. The tights and bright colours were all very well but not practical for the army, even if Bucky did quite like them. They’d eventually reached a compromise of faded blue and stars.

“I had some ideas about the uniform.” Steve passed his sketches to Howard who took the paper without even looking at him.

“Whatever you want, pal.”

* * *

Bucky was covered in dirt and he stank of smoke. Normally he found cleaning out his sniper rifle relaxing, but cleaning out the entire units’ rifles was a step too far for him. He’d much rather be down at the lab with Steve and Howard, he bet that Stark had all sorts of amazing tech down there that was just waiting for Bucky to love it. 

The transponder that Peggy had given them had been a real work of art. Within minutes of pushing the button Stark’s tiny plane had landed with ease in the small patch of open ground they’d found in the forrest. It had taken a couple of hours for the battered team to trudge through enemy territory away from the blown up Hydra factory. They each had their hands full of Hydra tech and Falworth was wearily relaying all the information they had managed to recover from the base to Steve. Steve, who half carried Erskine, was silent as he absorbed the intel. Apparently, one of the perks of the Serum was an enhanced memory and Steve’s memory had always been pretty perfect before. Buck remember the way Steve could draw an entire landscape from memory having only been there once. The details were never perfect but it was always beautiful and always almost flawless considering. 

Bucky’s feet were killing him, when he’d finally had a chance to lie down, after the Colonel finished shouting at them, he’d taken off his worn out boots. The soles of his feet were covered in bloody blisters and they smelt like death. He would be lucky if he managed to replace the tattered boots, so he left them out to dry by the camp fire and prayed that the rain would stop falling on this godforsaken continent. That’s why Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th was sat crossed legged on the floor surrounded by sniper rifles wearing Captain America socks. Ok, so the socks were not technically allowed by the US Army but Howard Stark and given the whole team a pair when they’d crawled back onto his jet and Bucky loved them. 

He was on his penultimate rifle when he heard female voices from nearby. He was bored out of his mind so he couldn’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Oh yeah, I tried to say no but he just couldn’t keep his hands off of me.” Bucky vaguely recognised the voice as Private Lorraine.

He remembered her trying to desperately flirt with him before he’d told Dugan and the others about his ‘girl Stephanie’ back home. She’d been pretty persistent and in the end Bucky had had to hide behind Dum Dum when they saw her coming. Apparently she’d found a new guy, one that actually gave a rat’s ass about her. 

“So what happened?” Some other girl responded.

“Did you kiss?” Private Sandy Bell asked. Bucky rolled his eyes, the girls were such gossips. He was glad Peggy and her doll weren’t like that. 

“Did he take you back to his tent?” The unknown girl squealed a response.

“Oh we kissed. I barely had time to breathe before he kissed me. We definitely would have gone back to his tent if Carter hadn’t interrupted.” Lorraine replied calmly. Bucky tried to focus on finishing his task so he could go meet Steve in the lab. If he finished quickly enough he might even get to ask Howard for some new gear for himself. He was, after all, Captain America’s second in command, surely that earned him some science time with Stark.

“Oh you’re so lucky!”

“He’s so handsome…” 

“And strong…” The girls shrilled and Bucky couldn’t help but listen.

“Carter is just jealous. Everyone knows she’s carrying a torch for him.” Lorraine laughed. Bucky scowled, there was something sinister about the way she was bragging. Reluctantly he put down the rifle so he could go dig further into their mindless gossip. 

“Her and half of America.” Lorraine was smirking and twiddling a strand of blonde hair between her fingers. 

“I can’t believe he kissed you.” Private Bell sighed with a dreamy look on her face.

“Hey girls…” Bucky called out, he gave Sandra a wink for good measure. He hated having to hide his relationship but unfortunately flirting with the girls was a necessity to stay safe. 

“Hey Sarge.” Girls they giggled, Sandra blushed at the attention. Ok so maybe Bucky enjoyed the flirting more than he probably should. 

“What’s all this I hear about you kissing guys eh?” He leant against a nearby tree and gave the girls a flirty grin. “Who’s the lucky fella?” 

“Steve Rogers…” Lorraine smirked.

Bucky scowled for a second before letting a mask fall across his face. He must have heard her wrong. Steve would never… “Captain America kissed you?” He was proud that his voice didn’t betray the emotional storm that was brewing inside of him. The girls shown no sign of noticing his distress, they all giggled and blushed. Lorraine raised her eyebrows and smiled sweetly, too sweetly. 

“No need to sound so surprised Sarge…” Her fingers trailed down the front of his tie. Bucky gave a nervous laugh and stepped back. He swung around the tree for good measure. “I’ve caught you looking at me a few times too you know.”

“What?” Bucky stuttered. He wonder what this girl was seeing because he damn well remembered running away from her not the other way round. Maybe she was delusional. He should send her for a psych evaluation. Still it wouldn’t hurt to use her delusions for his advantage, take any prying eyes away from him and Steve’s forbidden relationship.“I … I mean. Sure, you’re a gorgeous looking lady, but Cap’s… well he’s Steve. He’s always been shy.”By shy he meant that none of the dames ever noticed him and Steve was his.

“Guess he just needed to find the right partner.” Lorraine quipped with a wink. 

Bucky felt sick to his stomach. Steve had often said that when Bucky tried to persuade him to find a girl to dance with. Recently Bucky had assumed Steve had always been talking about him, but what if he was wrong. Steve still liked the dames, you only needed to see his face when Agent Carter was around to know that. Maybe Bucky wasn’t enough, maybe Steve couldn’t live his life in the shadows. Bucky’s world felt like it was falling apart, he’d only just found Steve and now this Blonde bombshell was taking him away. Steve deserved to have a relationship he could show off to the world. The skinny punk from Brooklyn, that no one ever cared about, deserved a chance to shine. Bucky just wish it could be with him, after all, he’d always seen the Captain America within Steve Rogers.

“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” He sighed. He hoped he didn’t sound too broken hearted. The girls would probably assume it was because Lorraine had found a new best guy. “Now if you lovely ladies will excuse me.” 

“See you Sarge.”

Bucky walked swiftly back to the tent he shared with Dum Dum. He desperately wanted to find Steve but he needed a moment. It was a miracle that he didn’t break in front of the girls, a miracle that he didn’t run away as fast as he could. 

* * *

Steve was exhausted by the time he made it back to his tent. He’d spent hours with Colonel Phillips pointing out all the known Hydra bases that Falsworth had relayed to him on a map. They’d discussed strategies until his voice had started to go hoarse and his stomach started to rumble. Even then he’d managed to spend another hour arguing about his new elite team. All the senior officers agreed it would be best for Captain America to lead his own smaller unit, specialising in taking down Hydra bases and gathering intel. What they didn’t agree on was who should form that team. Steve was adamant that his team would be Bucky’s group of friends that had come with him to save Erskine. They’d worked well together without having time to train together and every single man had had his back without even really knowing what he was capable. They had trusted him because they trusted Bucky and that was the sort of loyalty he needed. Phillips wanted Steve to have a team made of ‘the finest Soldiers’. According to Phillips, Bucky and Dum Dum fit into that criteria but the others did not. Despite the fact they had all proven themselves more than capable. Steve suspected that what Phillips actually meant was ‘the finest _white American_ Soldiers’. When Steve had argued that point with Phillips, the other man had gone bright red with silent rage but had actually conceded. Captain America would be a symbol for everyone against the Nazi regime, not just the white male. 

Right now Steve just wanted to sleep and eat whatever rations he had left. Unfortunately, the serum had increased his metabolism had he needed at least twice what the other men needed just so he wouldn’t pass out, more if he’d been on a mission. Still, food was scarce and he’d grown up hungry so it was a feeling he was used to. He tried not eat more than his fair share but that didn’t stop Bucky from slipping him a little extra from his ration pack. 

Bucky was waiting for him in his tent when he crawled in. He smiled as he saw the other man sitting cross legged on his sleeping mat. His smile didn’t last long though as he saw the fire in his boyfriend’s eyes. Bucky was furious. Steve crossed the room quickly to sit next to the brunet. He tried to take Bucky’s hands in his but Bucky pulled away. Steve swallowed nervously, that was not a good sign.

“Is it true?” Bucky whispered, cutting through the painful silence. Steve was trying desperately to control his breathing. He knew he wouldn’t have an asthma attack anymore but the serum had done nothing for his anxiety and the mission to save Erskine had not helped in the slightest. He now had to contend with nightmares of falling to his death in a fiery pit. The grenade nightmare had been bad enough but this latest addition to his dreams often involved him pulling Bucky down with him as he just missed the ledge. Steve almost wished he was asleep now. Bucky was refusing to meet his gaze. He wanted Bucky to look at him, he needed it. He needed to know they were ok. 

“Bucky?” His voice was shaky and his throat felt dry. 

“Steven Grant Rogers… Is it true?” Bucky repeated. Steve closed his eyes as his heart throbbed…. Bucky knew. It was the only explanation. Bucky only ever called him Steven when he’d done something stupid, like start a fight with three guys twice his size.

“Is what true Buck?” Steve feigned innocence. He knew it was stupid but he didn’t know what else to do.

“You know what” Bucky replied coldly. His voice was void of emotion and every syllable was digging a knife into his heart.

“Bucky, tell me what’s going on. Please.” Steve, like the idiot he was, needed to hear Bucky say it. He needed to know. 

“The girls Steve!” Bucky all but yelled at him, his arms flailing in the small tent. Steve recoiled from the sudden outburst and had to duck out of the way of Bucky’s hands. “That blonde doll is going around telling everyone you wanna fuck her Stevie!” Bucky’s piercing big blue eyes were staring at him, full of hurt and sadness. Steve tore his gaze away, unable to look at the pain he had caused the other man. 

“Oh…” He whispered feebly, desperately trying to form an explanation in his head. How could he explain that he didn’t want it? How could he explain that he froze? That he was too weak to push her away? No one would believe him. He was Captain America. 

“Oh… Is that it?” Bucky’s voice was like ice, accusing and harsh. Steve was confused. His head was spinning. Bucky was never like this, he had Steve’s back, Always, ’til the end of the line. This wasn’t his Bucky. Steve didn’t understand what was happening. 

“No!” He whimpered. His throat had gone dry and he felt his body curl into itself. He couldn’t do this…

“Stevie…” Bucky started saying but Steve interrupted he couldn’t let this be over. He needed Bucky more than he needed oyxgen, more than he needed food or sleep or even the damn serum that had saved his life. He would give it all back to have just one more night with Bucky.

“No Buck… Let me explain.” He finally looked up to meet Bucky’s gaze. His eyes were soft, shining with some unspoken emotion. 

Bucky nodded and smiled weakly. “I don’t think you need to.” He patted Steve on the shoulder before getting up to leave Steve’s tent. It felt too much like a good bye to Steve. His eyes stung as tears started to well up. 

“Bucky wait!” He called too late, his voice cracked as Bucky’s silhouette faded from view.

* * *

Bucky fled Steve’s tent as fast as he could. He wiped the tears that stained his cheek away with the cuff of his sleeve. He’d known going to Steve’s tent had been a mistake. He’d just needed to hear Steve deny the rumours, to tell him Lorraine had been lying. Instead Steve had basically admitted that she was right. He’d offered to explain but Bucky didn’t need to hear it. He didn’t need to hear how Steve had finally found a best girl after all the years of being rejected by every dame in the dance hall. Of course now Steve looked like a fucking Greek God he’d have dame’s falling at his feet. It had only been a matter of time before he found one that captured his heart. 

Bucky couldn’t even be mad at Steve. He had a chance at a normal relationship, a relationship he wouldn’t have to hide behind looked doors in the dead of night. How could Bucky be mad at his best friend for that? He just wished he hadn’t fallen so hard so fast. He stalked back to own tent to drink away his sorrows. He’d managed to convince the bartender from the night before to fill his flask up with whiskey. Anything to get them through the cold winter nights he’d said. The bartender had been too starstruck by Captain America to say no. 

“Sergeant Barnes” He heard a voice behind him call. He cursed under his breath, not here, not now. He just wanted to be alone to grieve and mend the pieces of his heart. 

“Fuck off.” He yelled back. “I do not want to deal with you right now.” He didn’t look at the tall dark man that had started following him. Bucky quickened his pace but the footsteps behind him followed suit. God the man was fucking persistent. 

“You should listen to the Captain” The man called after him. 

“You know what?” Bucky spun round to face the stranger who just insisted on meddling with his life. He was so done with his shit. “No. I do not have to do a fucking thing that you say.” The tears were streaming down his face but he didn’t have enough energy to feel embarrassed, he was devastated, he was angry, he was hurt. He owed this man nothing.

“Sergeant…” He started but Bucky cut him off.

“No! If it wasn’t for you Steve would probably still be home in Brooklyn. He’d still me my Stevie but no… You had to interfere. You had to put ideas in his head.” For a moment a vision of a different life flashed in front of Bucky’s eyes. 

A world where him and Steve didn’t have to hide. A world where they could hold hands walking down the street without the fear of getting killed in their sleep. A world where Bucky could take Steve dancing and actually get to dance with him. He imagined his arms around Steve’s tiny waist as he spun them round, Steve standing on his toes as he desperately tried to keep up with the steps of the Lindy Hop. A world where they didn’t struggle to pay the rent, where Steve could work as an artist and Bucky would go off to work each day and come home to find Steve waiting for him, covered head to toe in the most expensive paint. A world where they could afford Steve’s medicine and he didn’t almost die every winter because they could pay for heating. A world where Sarah Rogers was still alive and baked them her famous apple pie every week. Where Bucky’s parents were never killed and they stood beside Sarah as he kissed Steve silly at their wedding. A world where the war never happened and they were safe in their small apartment in Brooklyn.

But that was just too much for guys like them to wish for…

“He already had ideas James” The guy pulled him from his daydream back to the bleak forest in Europe. 

“And another thing!” Bucky poked the guy in the shoulder, it was unnecessary but he’d had a rough day. “What gives you the right? You come dropping in and out of our lives like we’re puppets. We don’t even know your name!” Silence fell between them as his words were processed. Bucky glared at the taller man before turning to go back to his tent. He just really needed to sleep, preferably for at least a year. He could wake up when this damn war was over.

“Heimdall” The man responded. Bucky stopped and glanced over his shoulder. 

“What?” It didn’t sound like the man was talking English anymore. 

“My name is Heimdall.” He replied calmly. 

“What the fuck is a Heimdall? You Nazi?” Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Heimdall sounded like some strange secret spy branch of Hydra or some shit like that. Unless it was a code name for something in the SSR. Bucky probably didn’t have clearance for that.

“Agardian.” His golden eyes were sparkling nostalgically. 

“That’s not real.” Bucky had a strange feeling that Heimdall was telling the truth. After all he had known that Steve would become a Captain, maybe he was psychic. 

“It’s in Norway” Heimdall smiled fondly at the memory of home. Bucky couldn’t remembered learning about an Asgard in Norway at school but they hadn’t gone into too much the geography of Europe. They’d mainly studied the United States. Bucky could name all the State capitals without even trying. 

“You’re mad” He rolled his eyes at the other man. He still wasn’t sure how this man knew so much but he definitely wasn’t sane. No one broke into a Hydra facility on their own unless they were mad. Bucky thought it was dangerous enough with the team of them. 

“Quite possibly.” Heimdall laughed as if he told Bucky some inside joke.

Bucky shook his head and wiped his face. His eyes felt sore and his nose was running. He probably looked like death. He didn’t particularly fancy facing Dum Dum like this. He needed some fresh air to clear his head. “I’m going for a walk. Don’t follow me, Heimdall.” He raised his eyebrow at the Asgardian, daring him to disagree. To his surprise Heimdall relented, kind of. 

“I won’t if you promise me you’ll let him explain. He needs you.” Heimdall gave Bucky as quick pat on the shoulder. Bucky glared. That wasn’t true. Steve had, quite literally, out grown him.

“Like hell he does.” He growled and stalked off into the woods.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super tired when I post this so there might be mistakes... still let me know what you think. Comments/kudos always welcome and I'm on tumblr @Avengersbarnes if you want to come say hi!


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's a bit of a shorter chapter... I was going to include Zola and the train but it felt right to end it where I have. Hope you like it!

Steve was cold and tired. He missed Bucky more than anything, sure he saw the brunet every damn day but it wasn’t the same. He’d fucked up big time. They had only been together just under a month when his world had fallen apart. He’d kissed the blonde girl outside Stark’s office and Bucky had found out. He barely spoke to Steve now and when Steve was lucky enough that Bucky actually looked in his direction, he was greeted by such deep sorrow in his best friend’s eyes. Gone was the easy flirtatious banter of their friendship, gone was the smouldering kisses in the dark, gone was the warmth of Bucky in his bed. It was replaced by the cold, the snow in the mountains, the frozen dirt of the forrest. Steve prayed every night that they whole affair had been a horrible nightmare, that he would wake up in Brooklyn with Bucky’s arms around his waist as they huddled for warmth in their small apartment. He would blush brightly as he remembered the vivid dreams of Bucky’s lips kissing down his chest. Bucky would tease him mercilessly for dreaming about some dame they’d met the night before and they would walk along the Hudson as dawn broke over Brooklyn. Every morning he sobbed into his pillow as he woke up alone on the frozen ground. New York was further away than he could imagine and Bucky was the ruthless sniper of Steve’s team, no more, no less.

Steve’s specialised team had been blazing like wildfire through the Hydra bases and Schmidt was furious which made him even more lethal. Howard was helping them track Zola with the device that Bucky planted but there had never been an opportunity to strike. Their priority was the bases, get the high-tech weapons away from the Nazis and they might actually gain an advantage in this shit storm of a war. They were starving and home-sick stuck out in the forest in small, barely rainproof tents. The sound of the rain or snow hitting the canvas above his head kept Steve awake at night but that was almost a blessing in disguise. When he did sleep the nightmares came, grenades, fires, cold dark spaces, flashing blue blasts and the screams. God the screams were worse that everything else put together. The moment in the other soldier’s eyes when he realised Steve was about to kill him. Steve had thought that he would remember every life he took. That moment was so haunting, so heartbreaking, so damn real that it burned into his memory. When he closed his eyes he saw the terror just seconds before the soul left the body but the impossible happened. He started to forget individual faces, the images melted into one another. Had the blue eyed Soldier with a half moon scar on his cheek been the first camp or had it only been yesterday? Steve, even with his enhanced memory, wouldn’t have been able to guess. 

“Steve?” Steve’s eyes snapped up to the man standing in front of him. He blinked a couple of times as the snowflakes landed on his eye lashes. 

“What’s wrong Private?” Steve asked as his blue eyes searched for answers in Jim’s brown ones. 

Jim tilted his head “Who says there’s something wrong Cap?” He challenged Steve.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “Jimmy, in the months I’ve known you do you know how many times you’ve called me Steve?”

“No Sir.” Morita responded with a playful salute.

“Once. When Dernier got shot.” Steve retorted as he tugged at his gloves. Even with the serum he was starting to feel the frostbite in his fingers, of course he healed faster than the icy temperature could damage him but it still hurt like a bitch. 

“Oh…” Morita shuffled nervously as he pulled his collar tighter around his neck. 

Steve had been a bit put out at first by his team’s insistence to use anything but his given name. When he’d still been just a skinny boy from Brooklyn he’d been called all sorts of colourful names. The boys at his school had called him Tiny Tim, Steve had been surprised they’d had the brains to recognise the reference. He had told them that repeatedly which, more often than not, ended with blood streaming from his nose and a note home to his poor suffering mother. When they’d gotten slightly older the names became more hurtful; fairy and faggot were most common. They’d tried calling him a girl at first but he’d made the mistake of showing them all the strongest and smartest women in history; ending with a picture of Sarah Rogers in her nurse uniform. Bucky had been the first person apart from his Ma to actually call him Steve. It was part of the reason he’d never let his first friend go until he got drafted into the war. Now Steve was back by his side but the name calling persisted. It had taken Bucky a long time to convince him that Captain Spangles was an affectionate nickname, that they were making fun of his alias, that they wouldn’t follow anyone into battle unless they had the utmost respect for them. Steve started to notice the glimmer in their eyes when they called him Spangles or Captain Spangles. It was playful and lighthearted. It made the constant drain of the war slightly better and Steve started to see the fun in their teasing. He was happy that he was able to provide even a slither on happiness to his men. Then when something went wrong, one of them got injured or it got too close he noticed that they reverted to Captain Rogers or even just Cap. 

When Jacques had been shot it had been a wake up call to all of them. The Frenchman had almost bled out of the field and it had taken every scrap of medical knowledge they had to keep him alive before Peggy flew in with a medical team. Morita had sought him out that evening whilst he was patrolling the perimeter of their camp site. The man looked terrified, they had no knowledge about whether Jacques would return to their team or whether he was even alive. Jim called out to him across the campfire with tears stains streaked through the dirt on his face. He’d said only one word: Steve. He’d sounded so broken that Steve had sat up almost the whole night with him telling him stories of the USO tour to distract him. They’d all suffered but Steve often forget that Bucky’s group of friends had been through hell before Steve had even stepped foot on European soil. He couldn’t tell them it would be alright but he could draw pictures of the things they missed and tell elaborate tales of his time on tour. It wasn’t much but it provided a distraction.

Hearing Jim use his name a second time sounded alarm bells in his head.  “So, I’ll ask you again Private Morita. What’s wrong?” Steve let his Captain’s aura seep into his voice. It was rare that he needed to pull rank with his team. They joked about a lot but they always got the job done. 

“Sarge, I mean Dum Dum and I were wondering about something Spangles…” Morita stuttered. Clearly he wasn’t quite sure how to word what was on his mind.

“Captain…” Steve raised his eyebrow and smirked at his friend.

“What?” Morita stared in disbelief and Steve laughed. He really didn’t pull rank enough if this was the reaction he got.

“My name is Captain Spangles.” He grinned as Morita looked dumbstruck. 

“Why do we even follow you?” Jim rolled his eyes and gave Steve a sharp punch to the arm.

“That’s insubordination Private.” Steve teased.

“Barnes was right. You’re an asshole.” Morita laughed but his words pierced Steve’s heart and suddenly any jovial feeling he had drained from his body. 

“I guess I am.” He sighed. Bucky probably hated him right about now.

“Oh no you don’t.” Morita knocked him over the head, harder than Steve would have liked.

He rubbed his scalp where Jim had slapped him, running his fingers through his hair to see if the skin would bruise. “What was that for?” He whined.

“Enough with the moping. Just talk to him god damn it.” Jim scowled at him and huffed causing the air in front of him to billow into a cloud of condensation. 

“What?” Steve looked back at his friend; stunned. “Is… Is this what’s been bothering you?” 

Steve had felt the panic rise in him when Jim had called his name. A small part of him had been convinced that Bucky was in trouble. It was a constant fear for Steve. He was leading his best friend, the man he loved, into some of the most dangerous missions in the war. He should have been leading him home, safe and warm to Brooklyn. He remember the sheer terror in Bucky’s eyes when he realised that they had to go back into that god forsaken factory. For days after Steve had woken up shivering and covered in cold sweat having watched Bucky fall into the flames, or be shot by Schmidt or be dragged back to hell by Zola. No matter how many times Steve tried to save him, Bucky always left him. Then he’d been cornered by Lorraine by Stark’s lab and Bucky had left him for real. The only part that kept him going through this mess, to keep fighting the fight was that Bucky was still alive and it was down to Steve to make sure they both made it home again even if they weren’t together. 

Jim flailed his arms in desperation. “You’re both so miserable all the time, Cap! We have to deal with the Nazi and Hydra scum tearing our world apart but at least before we didn’t have to deal with your shit when we got back to camp.” He all but yelled at Steve who took a step back in surprise.  He’d been so lost in his own thoughts he’d almost forgotten that Private Morita was standing in front of him. He wondered whether it was just Jim that thought that way or whether the others spoke behind their back. Where they really that obvious?

“I don’t understand. We’ve not let our fight disrupt the missions…” Steve’s felt his cheeks burn up. He was happy that the team obviously supported his and Bucky’s unusual relationship and he was grateful they’d never thrown them under the bus. 

“No but at least before you both knew how to laugh.” Morita challenged.

“I laugh!” Steve cried back. He resisted the urge to hide his face behind his hands. This was so embarrassing. This must have been the reason why he’d never bothered with a relationship before. He couldn’t cope with the fall out. 

“Barely and not like before. You were happy before. Now you just pretend to be. We’ve all noticed it. Peggy threatened to sew your tent shut with both of you inside next time she joins us on a mission.” Morita smirked.

“She wouldn’t dare.” Steve whispered in horror. He knew he was wrong. Peggy would absolutely delight in meddling in his love life once more. She had been complaining that her and Angie had lost their best cover story. Angie had been particularly mad at Steve, apparently she’d helped Bucky in the hospital when he’d first been rescued and had decided that young James Barnes had been through enough without America’s sweetheart breaking his heart. 

“You know she would.” Morita replied with a sinister grin. Steve wondered how long the men had been planning this intervention. 

“Where’s Dum Dum?” Steve pondered out loud, wondering why Jimmy had been the one chosen to talk to Steve. It would make more sense for Sergeant Dugan, a more senior officer, to talk to the Captain and leader of the team. 

“He had better things to do than pull the Captain’s head out of his arse, Sir.” Morita grinned as he gave Steve an exaggerated salute. 

“Bullshit. Where are they?” Steve needed to find Bucky and if he was right, Bucky was currently getting the same talk as he was from the other Sergeant which meant that the other men thought Bucky was just as despondent as he was. It gave Steve hope, if Bucky was as depressed as Steve felt then maybe, just maybe he’d forgive him. Steve could make him see it was all a misunderstanding, that he loved him. God did he love him.  

Morita sighed as he realised the game was up. “I believe we needed more firewood… Sir.” Steve barely saw the other man’s smile before he’d started running towards the forest.

* * *

Bucky’s arm was killing him from the constant swing of the axe. They’d been away from main base for weeks and this was probably the longest mission they’d had so far. Locating the Hydra base was proving more difficult than expected, Bucky was convinced that Schmidt had created some form of underground network but they just couldn’t find the entrance. Dum Dum was starting to think Falsworth had read the damn map wrong which had caused endless fights between the two of them and it wasn’t exactly all sugar and rainbows with him and Steve either. 

Bucky just really wanted to curl up next to Steve with a cup of cocoa and the latest issue of Stark’s science magazine. Maybe they could go to a protest together, god knows there were enough issues to fix in this world without the threat of war and a good old fashioned protest would be right up Steve’s street. Of course, in reality Steve would probably move out of their cramp mouldy apartment and find some girl to settle down with. Bucky was sure Steve would get a big fat pay check at the end of his service with the military and God knows how much he’d already earned from the USO tour. Steve would probably move into a fancy mansion like Howard’s whilst Bucky stayed in the slums of Brooklyn. He could already picture the little angelic blonde children running round the Rogers’s household with Lorraine tucked under Steve’s arm as they laughed at something ridiculous in the news. Would she be Steve’s new model for his art work? Bucky remembered how often his own face would feature in Steve’s notebooks and with his new life in his mansion Steve would probably be able to afford all the watercolour paints that he always stared longingly at.

Bucky sighed as he rubbed the sore muscles in his arm, letting the wood axe fall to the frozen ground. He wasn’t quite sure why his thoughts kept drifting back to Steve and the life they could have had together or the life Steve would have without him. He’d foolishly began to dream about life with Steve after the war but of course that had all fallen apart within a week of them finally getting together. After years of pining he’d had Steve in his arms for less than a week. 

“Sarge?” Dugan was staring at him with one hand on his hip and his wood axe swung casually over his shoulder. “You gonna chop the damn firewood or are you just here because I’m pretty?” Dum Dum raised his eyebrow. Bucky tried not to blush but he was pretty sure he failed miserably. 

“You wish Dummy.” Bucky shot back although he could admit that his friend did look pretty damn good. He’d peeled off his army jacket, even with the snow falling from the sky chopping wood was hard work and let it be known that Timothy Dugan suited the life of a lumberjack very well indeed.

“Then pick up that axe and get chopping Sarge. The sooner we finish the sooner we can get back to the campfire.” Dugan rolled his eyes and flashed a grin in Bucky’s direction.

“Well if you would stand around in a vest in the middle of a snowy forrest” Bucky muttered but reached down to pick up his axe anyway.

“Shut your face Barnes…” Dum Dum replied with a laugh. “You wouldn’t be complaining you were out here with Cap.”

Bucky’s heart skipped a beat. Why on God’s earth was Dum Dum bringing up Steve? He knew they’d gone their separate ways. Even their friendship had been strained since the argument. Bucky just couldn’t face the blond knowing that he was irrevocably in love with him. Every second he spent in Steve’s company made it more and more difficult not to pull him into a scorching kiss. To remind Steve of what they had together, to blind him to Lorraine and Peggy and any other girl who might take his fancy. 

“Well Steve’s made it clear that not what he’s after.” Bucky mumbled as he swung hard at the nearest tree. Maybe the wood chopping wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

“Are you sure about that? He seems pretty miserable”  Dugan sighed as he made his own swing at a nearby branch. 

“Well he did just have to leave his gal back at base for what? Three months now?” Bucky was seething. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He wanted to get some damn would and shoot Arnim Zola in the head so he could get some fucking rest. 

“You haven’t snuck out of our tent since the rumours…” Dum Dum started but Bucky stopped him with a death glare, a look he’d pretty much perfected since Zola’s little mind games in Krausberg.

“It’s not a rumour and you know it. They kissed. He admitted it.” Bucky hissed through his teeth. He tried not to focus on the pain in his heart. Instead he focused on the blisters forming on his fingers, the cold biting against the expose skin on his face, the constant dull ache in his boots where the blisters was raw and bloody. 

“And you flirt with every girl on basecamp. What difference does it make? You know you have to hide it. Maybe he couldn’t find an excuse to say no without exposing the two of you?” Dum Dum shot back, determined to make Bucky face the pain he’d been hiding with the smell of gunpowder and the satisfying shot of his rifle. 

“I never kissed em though.” Bucky muttered. “And what if he doesn’t want to hide anymore. I can’t take that from him!” Bucky cried. His axe fell from his hand and clattered to the ground. Every ounce of pain he’d been squashing down came rushing back. His heart was aching and salty tears stung in his eyes. Dugan dropped his own axe and pulled his jacket back over his shoulders and he came to sit by Bucky. Only then did Bucky realised his knees had given out and he’d fallen to the ground. “I can’t take that from him” He whispered into the air.

“Did you ever think to ask him what he wanted?” Dum Dum pulled him into a hug and Bucky sobbed against his friends shoulder. 

He cried for his loss of Steve but the flood gates were open. Every pain he’d hidden so well in his life suddenly washed over him. He cried for the lives he had to take, the families that were left behind. He cried for the men he’d seen fall to the Hydra’s lethal blue blast, leaving them without a body to take home. He cried for the boy small he left behind in Brooklyn and the strong soldier he’d become. He cried for all the hours of pain and torture that Zola inflicted on him and how much he had longed for death in those moments. He cried for his sister, he hadn’t seen Becca in so long and her last letter had seemed to lost all hope as she saw hundreds of soldiers die in the medical bays.

But most of all he cried for Steve.

He had everything he wanted in the palm of his hand and he let it go. How had he been so stupid?! He’d sacrifice his best friend to give Steve a chance for a normal life and he hadn’t even checked to see if that’s what Steve wanted. 

“I don’t know how to fix this…” He spluttered through the tears. He was so thankful to have a friend like Dum Dum. He knew the pain of the war, they all did. No one judged when it got too much. Bucky had spent time with Gabe when he’d gotten a letter from home to say his Ma had died. He’d held him when he’d cried for hours, in silence apart from the sounds of his strangled sobs. Everyone had a moment of weakness eventually, Bucky had just always assumed his would be with Steve not about him. 

“Maybe I can help.” A new voice called. Bucky’s eyes snapped up and found Steve’s beautiful ocean blue eyes staring back at him. He had a thick brown leather jacket pulled over his Captain America suit and his blond hair was covered in snowflakes.

“Steve…” He croaked. He was too tired and drained to think of anything better to say. He wanted to say he was sorry but somehow the words didn’t seem enough. “Stevie…” He tried again.

“Buck… It’s ok Sarge, I got this.” Steve said as he strode towards where Bucky and Dum Dum were resting on the frozen ground. Bucky shivered as Steve’s arms were suddenly wrapped around him and Bucky remembered the feeling of home.

“Roger that.” He heard Dum Dum’s voice and the footsteps leaving the clearing. 

“I’m sorry Stevie…” He rested his head against his friends chest. “I… I shouldn’t have… I should have…” Damn the words that wouldn’t come out. Why was this all so difficult?

“It’s ok Buck. I got you. I got you…” Steve repeated in his ear and the warm breath tickled his ear. Steve’s excessive body heat warmed Bucky right down to his frostbitten toes. 

“But…” He stuttered but Steve’s lips were suddenly on his and any protests he had faded away. They needed to talk, he knew that, but for just one moment he just needed Steve. 

“I’m sorry Buck. I love you. Only you.” Steve whispered against his lips and Bucky’s heart began to soar as Steve’s gloved fingers brushed away the remaining tears from his cheeks. “til the end of the line.”

“Lorraine…” Bucky started but Steve kissed him again, this time with more passion. His hands wrapped around Bucky’s waist pulled him closer and Bucky couldn’t help but run his fingers through Steve’s frost blond hair. It was cold but he didn’t care. Their lips moved together liked they’d never been apart and Bucky sighed into the kiss. Steve tasted like coffee and smoke, Bucky couldn’t get enough as he pulled Steve closer, tugging at the knots in his hair which elicited a delightful moan from his friend’s lips. Bucky smiled and pulled back so he could see Steve’s eyes. He needed to see what emotions lay beneath the swirling blue depths. Steve’s face was flushed a bright red and his eyes were dark with a growing hunger but Bucky could see the love shining through. How had he been so blind before? 

“Forgive me Buck… I never meant….” Steve started as he cradled Bucky’s face in his hands. Bucky leaned into his hand and smiled softly. It was his turn to interrupt Steve’s ramblings this time with his own kiss. It was softer, less desperate as they both were flooded by warmth and love that flowed between them. Bucky’s lips trailed over every part of Steve’s face, just to make sure he was really there. He kissed his cheeks, his forehead, his nose; laughing as Steve wrinkled his nose. He had always been ticklish. “We need to talk Buck.” Steve murmured as he his fingers entangled with Bucky’s. 

“We will but first can I just kiss you?” Bucky replied as he brushed the snow from Steve’s hair with his free hand.

“Hmmm… I don’t know…” Steve laughed and smiled mischievously. “I might be persuaded…”

Bucky rolled his eyes “Such a punk…” He pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips, sucking gently on his lower lip. Steve brushed his tongue across Bucky’s lips in return and Bucky moaned quietly into the kiss wondering how he had resisted this for months. He could already feel the warmth sweep over his body and his skin felt like it was on fire. He breathed in Steve’s scent and their bodies melded together. Steve’s lips were chapped from the cold but still deliciously soft. Bucky had never stopped dreaming about what those lips could do. 

“Hmm… Maybe but you love me.” Steve’s breath washed over him as they pulled apart. 

“til the end of the line, doll.” Bucky smiled and kissed Steve’s hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I sorta fixed things. Things aren't perfect and they need to work out their relationship still but at least they are ok. They are in a place to talk now. I know Angie is an actress but this is how I imagined her helping out during the war. A nurse with a talent for story telling to help the soldiers forget their pain. She'll go back to acting after the war. Let me know what you think :D Comments and Kudos are my favourite. I'm also on tumblr @Avengersbarnes.


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I've been working on other WIPs that I've left slightly neglected. Also this is a long chapter and took me the best part of a week to write. There's probably mistakes but I hope you like it. 
> 
> As before I have taken dialogue from the film. Any dialogue from the film is obviously not mine and the last section is very much lifted from the film but it's my interpretation of Steve's thoughts during the scene. I do not own the dialogue or any part of the film. 
> 
> That being said a lot of the dialogue and plot are totally my own. I hope I got the balance right.

The soldiers cheered jovially when Captain America and his team returned to base camp. They’d been out in the field for almost six months tracking down specialist Nazi bases. Peggy Carter smiled from the sidelines when she saw that Rogers and Barnes were once again walking side by side as they strode from the surrounding forest. A blonde soldier rushed forwards from the crowd and threw herself at the American Hero. Steve looked a little perturbed by the sudden attention but kept a respectful distance from the young Private. He turned away as she reached up to kiss him and her red stained lips landed on his cheeks. The girl looked a little hurt by his reaction but gracefully backed off as she retreated into the crowd. Barnes stood stoically by the Captain’s side, barely reacting to the encounter but Heimdall didn’t miss the fond smile the Sergeant gave the Captain as the girl ran off. The surrounding soldiers all gave a mighty cheer and a few wolf whistles, Heimdall had ensured the rumours of the Captain’s encounter with both Lorraine and any relationship he might have with Agent Carter were always circulating around the camp. The rumours allowed the two men to have some privacy in their relationship which was apparently a necessity in this century on Midgard. He never did understand that, he hadn’t paid much attention to Midgard before Thor’s involvement with the Avengers so he had never noticed the intense hatred of love between men. Asgard had never seen such bigotry. It helped of course that the young Prince Loki had never quite settled on a gender and Asgardians as a race always seemed to be more fluid in both sexuality and gender. Heimdall wondered how humans had time for all the hate that seemed to consume them.

Heimdall had kept a close eye on the Captain’s assigned missions, he knew the exact moment that he needed to fix and going after the Hydra bases was not it. Heimdall needed to stop Sergeant Barnes from falling off the train. The only problem was he had no idea how to stop the tragedy and ensure that both the Captain and Sergeant Barnes would still end up in the 21st Century to help the Avengers defeat the mad titan. 

“I don’t know how to fix this” He whispered to himself, the noise the soldiers were making easily masked his voice to all but the most sensitive ears. The Captain’s vibrant blue eyes shot up and Heimdall found himself shifting uneasily under the intensity of his gaze. Steve nudged the brunet next to him and nodded in Heimdall’s direction. Barnes looked less than pleased when he saw Heimdall in the crowd, he rolled his eyes and stalked away from Steve with a thunderous expression. Apparently some things never change.

* * *

Bucky was exhausted. Every day in this godforsaken continent was hell on Earth. It was always so damn cold and Bucky wasn’t sure what was worse; the eery silence in between battles or the never ending explosions and blue flashes of light. They were both as terrible as each other as far as he was concerned. They’d spent a good solid day trudging back to main camp, the team walked mostly in silence, worn down by the strain of their latest mission. It had been a key Hydra base they had taken out but the mission had been complex and they’d almost lost more than one man on the field. Dum Dum had taken a nasty shot to the shoulder on their final attack on the base but they’d managed to pull through without him. He’d been whining the whole walk back to base though. Bucky had threatened to shoot him in the other shoulder if he didn’t shut up which earned him a steely glare from Steve. 

Bucky had relished the quiet moments on the walk where he’d been able to link his fingers with Steve’s as they walked through the forest; their boots crunching on the frozen soil beneath their feet. They didn’t flaunt their relationship in front of the team but they were happy they didn’t have to hide either. They were lucky that the unit didn’t seem to care and they both got teased mercilessly whenever they did kiss or got caught spooning in their sleeping bags. Of course, the others soon realised that Captain America gave off more heat that the average human, and Bucky wasn’t too far behind either. By the end of the long mission it wasn’t unusual for the whole team to be curled up together, everyone fighting to be next to Rogers or Barnes. 

Of course, once they had begun to near the main base camp, Steve dropped Bucky’s hand and they shifted so they weren’t quite as close when they walked. Bucky refused to drop back in line with the rest of the team though. They were Captain America and Bucky Barnes, he was America’s favourite sidekick and that was all the excuse he needed to stay by his boyfriend’s side. The soldiers all cheered when they breached the tree line and pride swelled in Bucky’s chest. Bucky even managed not to act like a jealous boyfriend when Private Lorraine tried to plant one on Steve. He bristled slightly at the wolf whistles that echoed round the camp but Steve avoided the kiss like a champ and Bucky flashed Steve a thankful smile. He knew it would be better for their cover if Steve had let her kiss him but Bucky would really rather not see that. 

Steve bumped against his shoulder and nodded towards the crowd. Bucky’s eyes found a pair of familiar gold ones looking back at him. He cursed under his breath and moved to confront the man. He was now wearing army uniform and his long dreadlocked hair had been shaved to army standards. Why was he infiltrating the US army? Bucky should probably mention it to Phillips but first Bucky had his own words to say. He stormed up to the man and poked him hard in the shoulder. He vaguely noted that Steve had trotted behind him as the other Commandos, as they had started calling themselves, dispersed.

“What are you doing here Asgardian?” Bucky gave Heimdall a cold stare, what he affectionally called his murder stare. Heimdall had the nerve to smile knowingly at him and Bucky was severely resisting the urge to knock the smile off his face. He didn’t trust this man and he didn’t like how he kept randomly turning up in their lives.

“Ass what?” Steve butted in when he caught up with Bucky. He looked between Bucky and Heimdall in confusion. Bucky supposed that his reaction to the strange man had been a little intense and out of character. Out of the two of them he was usually the easygoing charming young man who could make friends in Antartica if he were given the chance and yet here he was being cold and confrontational towards a man neither of them really knew. 

“Some made up place in Norway. I checked the map, Asgard doesn’t exist asshole.” Bucky replied cooly. He didn’t mean to snap at Steve but something about Heimdall rubbed him up the wrong way. Heimdall chuckled, to Bucky’s displeasure, apparently he wasn’t surprised that Bucky had caught him in a lie. Bucky wondered what he had said to the Commanding Officers to manage to worm his way into base camp. Bucky thought that perhaps it was only him and Steve that could see him. That would explain a lot, but then again the Commandos had basically sung ballads about the man who rescued them from the godforsaken factory. Bucky felt a twinge of guilt when he remembered the man had saved his life but it was short-lived. The man had interfered too many times. 

“Bucky….” Steve started, placing a comforting hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky saw the confusion in Steve’s pretty blue eyes as he tried to comprehend the situation. It was almost enough to make Bucky stand down and let Steve take control of the conversation but Steve didn’t know this man. He didn’t know that Heimdall had known the entire time that Steve would become Captain America even when he was just a scrawny kid trying to earn his way by drawing by the Hudson.

“No, Steve. This guy has been following me since Brooklyn. He’s been messing up our lives Rogers.” Bucky continued to glare at the golden eyed man in front of them. Steve gave his shoulder a quick squeeze then dropped his hand to his side. His fingers brushed against Bucky’s sending a familiar spark up Bucky’s arm. 

Steve took a while to answer. Heimdall waited patiently as Steve processed the information. When he did speak it was quiet and almost thoughtful which was almost unheard of from the blond. “You’ve seen him too?” He whispered so low that Bucky was probably the only person that heard him, thank god for knock off Captain America serum. 

“What?” Bucky was stunned. He’d thought Heimdall had just been following him, to stop him from preventing Steve’s destiny. Now it turns out he was following Steve too. Was he some kind of crazed fan from the future or something? “Explain yourself! Now!”

Heimdall sighed as he closed his eyes. For a moment Bucky could almost see the long dreadlocks and tattered brown armour that he was wearing the first time they met but that was impossible. Bucky was sure he was imagining things, it wouldn’t be the first time. Zola had really done a number on his brain. “Very Well. I have been given a mission. If I fail then half of the entire universe will die.” Heimdall spoke as if he were not in the dark forest of Europe. 

His eyes were glazed over and there was a shimmer that surrounded him. It was mystical and Bucky found himself entranced by the rainbow colours. He thought he saw another creature wrapped around the Asgardian’s torso. It was long and scaly, the colours were indescribable like nothing Bucky had ever seen before. The creature winked at him with one big beautiful eye and Bucky was filled with warmth right down to his frost bitten toes. He glanced over at Steve who was deep in thought and hadn’t seemed to have noticed the anomaly. Bucky thought that he must have imagined it. He needed to sleep, they’d been out in the field for too long. He blinked quickly and shook his head to wake himself up. When his eyes focused on Heimdall again the illusion had gone and he was cold once again. 

“And that involves us how exactly? Schmidt’s bad but I don’t think he could wipe out half the universe.” Steve’s voice cut through his daze. 

He’d taken off his helmet now and was running his long artist’s fingers through the messy blond strands; a nervous habit that he’d never managed to shake. Bucky loved it. He always imagined what it would feel like to be the one combing his fingers through the soft golden locks. Of course now he didn’t need to imagine, he could just remember or when they were alone he could reach up and cover Steve’s hand with his own. He’d spent hours in Steve’s tent with his boyfriend’s head in his lap, fingers nimbly untangling the knots and massaging the scalp. Steve would hum contently as he drifted off to sleep. As long as Bucky’s fingers were entangled in Steve’s hair then the nightmares stayed away. Bucky loved that even though Steve was strong now, he was still able to protect him, to look after him. 

“The Tesseract, Skull’s energy source. It’s part of a bigger plan and one that can only be stopped by a mighty team of heroes.” Heimdall answered in a hush tone as he walked further away from the crowds of soldiers; gesturing for Bucky and Steve to follow him. 

“Heroes like Steve.” Bucky stated because Steve was a hero. There was no doubt about it. He had always been a hero, a moral compass stronger than the Nuns at Bucky’s old school and a will stronger than Atlas. Steve had always been Bucky’s hero from the moment they met, Steve getting the crap beat out of him in the back of an alley just to save a younger girl he didn’t know from senseless thugs. A girl that just happened to be Rebecca Barnes. 

“Like Steve and like yourself Sergeant.” Heimdall corrected. Bucky’s cheeks warmed at the sudden and unexpected praise. He was sure he was no hero. He just followed Steve. Bucky sometimes struggled to see wrong from right. He would run away from the fight if that meant they got to survive another day. He was the gun to Steve’s shield. The winter to Steve’s summer. The Sidekick to Steve’s Hero. It was Steve that led the way in glimmering light. That was just the way things were, even the stupid movies could see that. Heimdall was a fool if he thought otherwise. “The universe has noticed that you are both stronger together. Like soulmates, if such things exist.” Heimdall continued.

Bucky tried to calm his heartbeat at the word soulmates. Soulmates weren’t real. Then again neither was Asgard or strange dragon like creatures. Soulmates; him and Stevie. It didn’t sound so bad. Bucky glanced over at Steve who had a cold mask across his face. Bucky’s stomached dropped. Apparently Steve didn’t like the idea of soulmates as much as he did. 

“So you used us like puppets” Steve hissed icily 

“Like Hydra tried to use me, like the Government used Steve.” Bucky added as he worked out where Steve’s head had gone.

“What makes you any better than them?” Steve asked with one hand on his hip. They’d done this routine a hundred times before. Steve and Bucky against the world, inseparable and unbeatable. Bucky quickly mirrored Steve’s posture and tilted his head as if to echo Steve’s question. 

For the first time Heimdall looked taken back. Then again it was the first time he’d been face to face with both Steve and Bucky at once, in this lifetime at least. Bucky smirked at him whilst he regained his composure. “I’m not the one pulling the strings here, Captain.”

“None of this makes any damn sense.” Bucky almost yelled with frustration. He’d had enough of the manipulation and mind games, and maybe just maybe he really needed a good 8 hours sleep without being woken up by damn gunfire. 

“Maybe not but you have to trust me or you’ll be kept apart by your enemies for more than a life time.” Heimdall stared off into the distance. His face paled and his eyes were haunted by some unseen event. Bucky felt a wave of nausea clench in his stomach. The only way him and Stevie were going to be separated was by death, til the end of the line, that’s what they always said. Bucky would be damned if he let Steve die first. He didn’t nurse Steve through countless bouts of influenza and pneumonia, and at least four last rites, for the little shit to die on him at war. 

“That’s not possible.” Steve’s shoulders squared up to Heimdall and he got this look in his eyes. He got _the_ look in his eyes. The way his muscles tensed, as if he was coiled up and ready to pounce, his blue eyes like ablaze with indignant passion. Steve Rogers was about to do something very stupid which meant that Bucky Barnes was about to do something stupid to try and protect him.

“Stevie…” He groaned. He just wanted to go back to Steve’s tent and cuddle. Was that really so difficult? 

“If you go I follow. Til the end of the line, Buck.” Steve insisted. Bucky knew there was no point in arguing. Steve was as stubborn as a mule; a mule with the body of an angel.

“That might work…” Heimdall murmured thoughtfully in a way that put Bucky on edge. He wanted them alive, why was the man encouraging Steve’s stupidity. 

“What might work?” Bucky asked reluctantly. This felt remarkably like being back in Brooklyn and he was about to drag Steve’s dumbass away from thugs twice his size.

“Captain Rogers, whatever happens in the next mission. You must follow Barnes. No matter what.” Heimdall stated gravely. Bucky was about to object but Steve was faster. 

“Done.” Steve reached out his hand and the two men shook on it. 

“Steve! You have no idea what he’s talking about. You could die!” Bucky flung his arms up in the air in exasperation. How Captain America got a reputation for being a goodie two shoes Bucky would never know. 

“Only if you die Bucky.”  Steve shrugged as if that meant nothing at all. As if following Bucky into death was the same as going for a stroll along the Hudson. Then again Bucky had followed Steve into their special force team and into lethal missions. “I’ll follow him. The universe depends on it right?” Steve raised his eyebrow at Heimdall as he ruffled Bucky’s hair. Bucky glared up at him. Stupid Steve with his Stupid serum. He’d always be a punk to Bucky. 

“Correct.” Heimdall nodded.

“Steve you’re being stupid!” Bucky yelled at his friend as he attempted to smooth down his hair. When did his life get so complicated? He missed Brooklyn. The worst that could happened is the electricity cutting out when they couldn’t pay the bill or Sarah Rogers yelling at them because they forgot to call her that week. 

“Buck, I’d follow you regardless of the universe. You know that right?” Steve replied earnestly. His ocean blue eyes piercing into his soul in a way that no other person could. Bucky felt his heart skipped a beat and a familiar blush coloured his cheeks. Did Steve even realise the effect he had on Bucky? The gorgeous blue eyes, with green and golden specks, the soft golden blond locks tussled by his helmet, the way the navy uniform contrasted his pale skin and his smile that was brighter than a thousand suns. Bucky snapped out of his daze when he remembered his was supposed to be mad at his lover. 

“Punk.” He muttered as he sauntered away towards his tent. He’d sneak into Steve’s when night fell and he was less angry at him. 

“Jerk” He heard Steve call after him with a laugh.

* * *

Steve pulled nervously at the green sleeves of his uniform. The Captain America suit was one thing but the green monstrosity they made him wear for strategic meetings was, in Steve’s opinion, worse than Bucky’s meatloaf, and that was saying something. Having grown up in the slums of Brooklyn and spending most of his young adult years wearing Bucky’s old hand me downs, Steve found the suit restricting and not like him at all. He particularly hated the tie. How did business men wear these on a day to day business? He much preferred his baggy shirts and artist’s overalls. Bucky, however, had a different opinion on Steve’s formal army wear and Steve had ended up wearing it back to his tent on multiple occasions. Bucky came up with increasingly ridiculous excuses as to why Steve’s uniform needed washing. The last one had involved wolf piss. Steve had no choice but to play along; blushing profusely. 

Peggy had called both him and Bucky to the Colonel’s tent which meant only one thing; they had a mission. Peggy pushed through the gap in the tent, barely ducking as she went though. Steve almost smacked his head on the canvas of the tent as he forgot that he was no longer just over five feet tall. Bucky chuckled behind him as he realised what Steve had done. Steve blushed but continued as if nothing had happened. It wasn’t the first time he’d made that mistake and it probably wouldn’t be the last either. What Steve hadn’t anticipated was finding Howard Stark leaning casually on the large map in the centre of the room. Steve wondered whether they were taking Stark’s private jet again. One of their unofficial, highly classified missions again then. 

“Howard, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Peggy asked, calm as ever, with her hands on her hips. The pair had an unconventional friendship. Howard never failed to flirt outrageously with Agent Carter but Peggy seemed to have a deep respect for their friendship and Stark’s specialised skillset. 

“The pleasure is all mine, Agent Carter, looking lovely as ever.” Howard replied with a wink. Peggy rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. “Captain Rogers, Bucky bear!” Howard grinned like a maniac when he saw Bucky. Apparently Howard had become quite the collector of Bucky Bears and Captain America’s merchandise and he loved to tease the Sergeant mercilessly about his comic book alter ego. 

“That’s Sergeant Barnes to you Stark.”  Bucky responded drily used to Stark’s overzealous jesting. Steve couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. War was difficult but he was grateful for the friends he had made. Plus Bucky was kind of cute when he got mad. 

“Here, new issue.” Stark picked up a magazine that was next to him on the table and threw it at Bucky who caught it in his left hand. His eyes lit up as he read the front page. Judging by Bucky’s reaction it must have been one of the science magazines that he was so fond of. “Hasn’t even made the stands yet. I included a special article on a new project Stark Industries is working on. We developing the technology to take photographs of Earth from Space.” Howard smirked at the look on Bucky’s face. 

“That’s impossible!” Bucky whispered in awe as he frantically flipped through the pages to find the right section. 

“So was old Captain Spangles before we zapped him in a lab in Brooklyn.” Howard gestured to Steve with a wink. Steve cursed Morita under his breath, that damn nickname was supposed to stay within the team. He wondered how Stark had found out. “Open your mind Bucky Bear. The future is whatever we want it to be.” Howard gave Bucky a pat on the back. He sounded like he was making one of his speeches from Stark expo and Bucky was completely entranced. Steve smiled fondly at his boyfriend. He was completely adorable. 

Peggy coughed and Steve tore his eyes away from Bucky, desperately hoping he wouldn’t blush and give himself away. Stark still wasn’t privy to the exact nature of his and Bucky’s relationship. “Back to the matter at hand, Howard” Peggy’s voice cut through Stark’s chattering. Steve shot her a grateful smile and the conversation returned to business. He noticed a faint blush paint Bucky’s cheeks and he had a blissful smile on his face but he tucked the magazine into his pocket. In the time it took Steve to take his next breath, Bucky Barnes: Science Nerd had disappeared and in his place stood Sergeant James Barnes: Howling Commando. 

“Right you are Agent Carter. We’ve been collecting and analysing the data from that tracker you put on Zola. Nice job there by the way Barnes.” Howard gave Bucky a playful wink but continued his little speech without a hitch. “He’s been pretty close to the Skull this whole time but we think they’ll be an opening.”

Peggy cut in; stopping Howard in his tracks. Howard pouted indignantly but let the brunette talk. She was more qualified to talk about the mission and they had both learnt that you don’t mess with Agent Margaret Carter. “We’ve received intelligence that Zola will be on the move. He’s travelling by train, following this route.” She gestured to a point on the map in front of them. The railway appeared to be travelling around the side of a mountain. Steve felt a little queasy just thinking about it, heights had never been his favourite thing but capturing Zola would make it all worth it. “It’ll be dangerous but if we can somehow manage to board the train in between towns then we might just be able to capture him.”

“So we’re just gonna land on a moving train?” Steve asked sceptically. He would do it without hesitation if Peggy said it was possible but it was a reckless plan even by his standards. Was Stark going to drop them off with Parachutes? 

“What’s that you said about having an open mind stark?” Bucky nudged him and Howard laughed.

“Attaboy Bucky Bear!” Howard cried with jubilation. Peggy rolled her eyes and Steve tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach.

* * *

In the end Stark did drop them off just not on the train. They landed near the railway on a mountain across the valley. From there, it was a day’s hike to their chosen location with all their gear. Steve tried to carry most of the heavy equipment but the team insisted on doing their fair share. It had taken the good part of two hours for them all to decide on the best strategy. Phillips had joined them after the first hour and made it known that he thought his mission was a waste of resources. There was apparently no point going after Zola, it was Schmidt they needed. Bucky had almost growled at the Colonel and Steve had to order him back to his tent to cool off. 

Cooling off was now the last thing on their minds. The mountain was at higher altitude than camp and the wind had a lethal bite to it. The snowflakes burned on their skin as they walked through the trees. It only got worse once they broke the past the tree line and they were exposed on the snowy mountainside. Morita had tripped and almost broken his ankle as he slipped on the jagged rocks. As it was he had a deep gash on his hand where he tried to break his fall. Eventually with only a few hours to spare they made it to the cliffside overlooking the railway. Falsworth had shot a line across the valley, giving it a few tugs to make sure it was secure, and Morita started setting up the communication equipment to monitor the train as it approached. Gabe stood nearby to help translate any incoming messages. 

It had been decided that only three of the Commandos would have time to land on the train before it passed. They tried to argue they could land at least four of them but Colonel Phillips refused, the risk was too high. Therefore none of them would be landing on the final carriage, if all went according to plan. Steve and Bucky would make up two of the three and the others had decided to draw straws. Morita would stay on the mountain monitoring the comms but the others all took their chance. Nobody really wanted to join the Captain and his Sergeant on this mission but in the end it was Gabe who drew the short straw. He paled and turned his attention to the radio. They let him take the moment to be alone. He wrote a letter to his father whilst they waited for the train and pressed the thin paper into Dernier’s hands, just in case.

They stood on that icy clifftop chattering idly whilst Gabe listened to the Hydra dispatch channel they had managed to hack into on one of their earlier missions. Most of the team were huddled around Steve and Bucky to keep warm and Bucky had his fingers wrapped around Steve’s. They were both wearing gloves but it was still comforting. Soon enough Jones gave them the signal. 

The train was approaching.

The team broke apart as they prepared for the fast approaching locomotive. Morita and Jones were glued to the comms. Jones had the headphones on, probably trying to block out his thoughts and Morita was constantly fiddling with the settings to make sure they didn’t lose signal. Dernier was quiet, pensive as he huddled for warmth. Dum Dum was taking the mission hard. Steve could see he felt like a spare part, no matter how much use he’d been helping them make it up the mountain, and they needed all the hands they could get to return to Stark’s plane once they’d made the jump. Sergeant Dugan began to pace along the loose rocks, his hands anxiously fiddling with his belt strap. Falsworth had a pair of binoculars pressed up against his face. His eyes looked haunted every time he pulled back to look at the team mates. They all had a bad feeling about this. 

Steve and Bucky stood apart from their team as they watched out over the mountain. The tracks of the railway were buried in the snow and there was a cold wind blowing against their faces. The crevice below appeared to go on forever but Steve could just about make out a river snaking its way through the valley. It was a hell of a long way down and it was a jump that he really didn’t want to make. Bucky wrapped his arm around his waist and nuzzled into his neck. It wasn’t much but it made Steve smile. Even though he was big now, Bucky still found ways to protect him, even if it was only from himself. Steve hummed appreciatively and Bucky pulled back with a smirk before turning back towards the mountains in front of them. 

 _“_ Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?” Bucky asked playfully, still trying to distract Steve from his worrying.

It was his anxiety that so often caused him to act before thinking or to jump without looking. Spending hours waiting on top of a mountain, thinking about how many ways they could die was not Steve’s favourite activity. His whole body was itching and he felt restless, he knew the fight was on its way but there was nothing he could do but wait. Bucky however was cool as the snow around them. He could analyse the situation without getting panic attacks and he was always there to keep Steve grounded. Of course now Heimdall had planted the idea in Steve’s head that they would be separated which gave him a whole new bag of things to worry about. What would he do without Bucky? Steve repressed a shudder. That was not something he could think about right now. He would follow Bucky, no matter what. 

He tried to focus back on Bucky’s words, on the sound of his voice. Bucky had asked him a question. Coney Island, sitting on the ferris wheel together, the way Bucky’s eyes sparkled in the moonlight, Cyclone… Steve grimaced as he remembered the memory. “Yeah, I and I threw up?” 

“This isn’t payback, is it?” Bucky asked with a playful smile dancing on his lips. Steve barked a laugh. It was tight and restrained from his anxiety bubbling up but it was a laugh all the same. He looked up to where the zip line was buried deep into the rock of the mountain above them. He could see the parallels between this and the Cyclone. Both of them made Steve’s stomach roll but Captain America would never admit to that now. 

“Now why would I do that?” Steve he teased his friend and they bumped shoulders. 

Gabe’s voice pulled them back to the mission at hand.“We were right. Dr Zola’s on the train. Hydra dispatcher gave him permission to open up the throttle. Wherever he’s going, they must need him bad.” Gabe stood up and passed his headset to Dernier as he readied himself for the jump. Steve put on his helmet with a final nod to the brunet next to him and they made their last minute preparations. 

“Let’s get going, because they’re moving like the devil.” Falsworth stated solemnly as the train finally came into view as it hurtled through the mountain pass. As Steve’s blond hair became encased in his helmet, he felt Steve Rogers melt away and Captain America took his place. He squared his shoulders and faced his team for the final briefing. He hoped he would see them again, this mission felt different to the others. 

“We only got about a 10-second window. You miss that window, we’re bugs on a windshield.” Steve called to the Commandos over the wind rushing through the mountains.

“Mind the gap.” Falsworth muttered to himself darkly. 

“Better get moving, bugs!” Dum Dum’s voice boomed. Steve appreciated the attempt at humour. It was dark but sometimes it was the only way to handle these situations. 

 _“_ Maintenant!” Dernier called as he signalled with his hand. 

Steve didn’t think. He just jumped. He dimly heard Dernier’s signal to Bucky and then Jones but even to his enhanced ears it was difficult to hear him over the wind. The wire bounced as each of his friends made their leaps off of the cliffside. The train was approaching fast but so were they. After the initial dip in his stomach, Steve didn’t notice the sensation of falling much at all until his feet finally made contact with the metal as he landed with a thud. He didn’t dare breathe until he heard the sound of Bucky and Gabe make their landing. He made his way across the carriage, the wind whistling in his ears. The serum made the noise almost unbearable and he was regretting not bringing earplugs but he gritted his teeth kept his face forward.  About two thirds of the way down the train he climbed down a ladder to get inside the carriage. Bucky watched out as he descended before following him inside. It had been decided that their third, Gabe as it turned out, would move on top of the train to take control of the locomotive whilst Steve and Bucky would search the carriages. 

The first carriage was quiet, too quiet. There were rows and rows of weapon cases stacked in the centre of the carriage. It was dark which made Steve feel uneasy. Bucky had his gun raised and Steve signalled to him for them to keep moving down the carriage. Steve was starting relax as the mission began to feel more familiar. They had done this a thousand times before, moving through Hydra bases silently and checking that each and every corner was clear before proceeding. It didn’t matter that this particular room was a train moving like a bullet through the mountains.  Bucky had his back. That was all that mattered. Still Steve had his gun drawn as a precaution. It felt unnatural and clumsy in his hands but Bucky and Peggy had insisted he carried a weapon. Apparently the shield didn’t count. Steve stepped cautiously into the next carriage.

Then all hell broke loose.

The door slammed shut before Bucky could get through. They stared at each other through the small windows with panic on both their faces. 

_You’ll be kept apart by your enemies for more than a life time._

Heimdall’s words came rushing back to him and he desperately tried to break through the door. Bucky spun round and started firing his weapon as Hydra agent’s swarmed the carriage. Steve shivered as he heard the familiar sound of Hydra’s lethal blue weapons preparing to fire. He tore his eyes away from Bucky and forced himself to focus on surviving his own fight. He only just managed to get his body behind his shield as blue light filled the carriage. He took aim with his own gun and fired. The soldier was impossible. It was taller and broader than he was and covered from head to toe in metal armour. Steve noticed bright tubes pulsing with energy trailing from the weapons to the soldier’s back. 

“Stop him! Fire again!” Zola’s voice echoed throughout the carriage and Steve saw red. 

Arnim Zola was once again the reason he was separated from Bucky and Steve would walk through fire to make sure the weasel never saw the light of day again. He could hear the sound of Bucky’s rifle firing from the next carriage. That was good. It meant that the brunet wasn’t dead yet. Steve’s own battle wasn’t going particularly well. His weapon wasn’t even making a dent in the metal armour but he couldn’t get close enough to use his shield effectively. 

He looked around the carriage, whilst he hid behind a stack of weapon cases, to see if there was anything he could use to help. He tried to remember all the things Peggy had taught him about fighting. When you’re at a disadvantage or your opponent is bigger than you then use your environment to your advantage, hit fast and get out quick, use every single inch of your body to fight not just your fists or weapons. Steve took a deep breath and launched himself at the ceiling before the Hydra agent could register he’d moved. He grabbed onto a hook and zip-lined down the carriage with his trusty shield covering his face. He did try to curl up his body so it tucked behind the shield but the gravity and momentum made it difficult. Luckily for him the Hydra agent seemed to be fixated on blowing his head off and hadn’t noticed the obvious weakness in his defence. His arms shuddered as the blast hit his shield but the vibranium was able to absorb most of the shock so it didn’t hurt too bad. He managed to kick the agent square in the chest and he was propelled back towards the door. Steve bashed his shield straight through the agent’s skull, he winced as he heard the crunch of the bones but didn’t linger to see the blood seeping from the metal helmet. He quickly used the Hydra weapon to blast through the locked door and ran to help Bucky. 

The gunfire was still loud and ringing in his ears as he approached the door between his carriage and Bucky’s. He glanced through the small window and saw his best friend crouched in the corner taking sporadic shots from behind a weapon crate. His rifle had been abandoned and he was now using a smaller shotgun like the one Steve had.Then there were no more shots. No more flashes of light from Bucky’s gun. Bucky had run out of bullets. Steve pressed his back against the wall of the carriage and drew his weapon. Bucky was the best shot he knew and Steve was famously terrible with ranged weapons so Steve could see only one option. He needed to get his gun into Bucky’s hands. He took a deep breath and push the button to open the door. 

Bucky’s eyes flashed up to him in a panic but he quickly realised that it was Steve and not another Hydra agent. Steve nodded to him and tossed his gun quickly. Bucky caught it with ease and Steve stormed the carriage with his shield raised. He threw all his weight into a weapon crate that stood in the middle of the room. The agent moved to avoid getting crush and Bucky fired a single shot into his head. The agent fell like lead against the floor. Bucky pointed his gun at the dead agent as if he didn’t quite trust the man to get back up off the floor but he didn’t fire. They were almost out of bullets and Steve could always bash his shield into the man’s skull if they wanted to make sure he was truly dead.

“I had him on the ropes.” Bucky’s voice was hoarse and strained. The battle had taken a lot out of them both. They weren’t used to being split up and cornered like that. They worked better as a team. Heimdall had been right about that. 

“I know you did.” He smiled fondly at his friend but it was short lived as he heard that sound again. The sound of Hydra weapons getting ready to fire. There was a second metal gunman on the train. Without thinking He pulled Bucky behind him and flung his shield up to protect them both “Get down!” He yelled as Bucky’s body was tucked behind him. 

The blast bounced off his shield and blew a hole in the side of the train. The impact propelled him back as he dropped his shield and the frozen wind suddenly filled the carriage. The noise resounded in his head and he was dazed by the overwhelming sound, the one downfall to his enhanced hearing.

“Fire again! Kill him! Now!” Zola’s voice called through the overhead speaker. Steve pulled himself off the floor just in time to see Bucky holding his shield and the whir of the Hydra gun sounded again. Steve tried to get his muscles to move, to push Bucky out of the way but it was like one of those nightmares. Time stood still and he couldn’t move fast enough. His mind was muddled and he felt like he was wading through the water. He just watched as Bucky was hit and flung from the carriage. His adrenaline spiked and his mind finally cleared. He grabbed his shield and threw it at the soldier with every ounce of strength that he had. The man was thrown backwards and Steve raced towards the torn up metal that was flying on the outside of the train.

“Bucky!” He screamed, there was moment of relief as he saw his boyfriend clinging on to the side of the train. He hadn’t fallen but the metal was fragile and about to give way. He scrambled to climb along the edge of the train. Bucky tried to climb back up towards him but the wind was pushing him back. “Hang on!” He cried in desperation. He had to get to Bucky. He had to save Bucky. “Grab my hand!” He reached out with his left hand, his right shoulder protested as it tried to hold the rest of his weight and his feet struggled to grip on the bent up metal. The railing that Bucky was clinging onto buckled with a sickening screech.

Then Bucky was gone. His arms flailing as he screams filled the valley. Steve’s knees gave way and he almost fell off the train. Grief came crashing down around him. 

“No!” He screamed still reaching towards his best friend. 

Bucky.

The thought echoed around his head. 

Bucky.

His friend was gone.

Bucky.

He couldn’t be dead.

Bucky.

_Captain Rogers, whatever happens in the next mission. You must follow Barnes. No matter what._

The promise he made.

_You could die!_

The words Bucky had said.

_Only if you die Bucky._

How could he have known? 

His body felt numb. His heart was empty. His friend was dead.

_You must follow Barnes. No matter what._

_No matter what._

_You must follow Barnes._

“I’m coming Buck.” He whispered into the wind.

Then he let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can only apologise... I'll fix it. I promise!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for sneak peaks and more MCU and Stucky content! @Avengersbarnes 
> 
> Much Love,
> 
> Yaz


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you'll notice this is now a series... or maybe you won't but it is! There's a small ficlet which is set sort of in the middle of this. After the fall and before the rescue. It's in Peggy's POV about her reaction to Steve falling. It was going to be part of this but it felt out of place but I didn't want to just scrap it. So yeah. Also look out for a christmassy one-shot set in this universe before Bucky gets drafted. 
> 
> Warnings for super angst and descriptions of quite bad injuries in this one. Please proceed with caution. 
> 
> It took me a super long time to write this... like almost three weeks. So there are probably loads of mistakes but I just wanted to get it out because it's long overdue. 
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy!

Pain.

_Falling._

_Falling._

_Screams reverberating through the air._

There was only pain.

_“Steve No!!”_

The ice was stained red.

_“Til the end of the line Buck!”_

Screams echoed in his head.

_“But you’ll die!”_

Snowflakes covering his face. His skin was so cold they didn’t melt as they landed. 

_“Then I’ll die with you!”_

Steve.

Steve!

Were they dead? No. Too much pain. Unless they were in hell after all.

Fuck!

“Steve” He croaked. No response, or maybe there was but the burning pain deafened him. He struggled to open his eyes properly. His vision was blurry and the light was bright against the snow. He realised he wasn’t lying on the snow like he first thought, rather he was lying on top of Steve’s chest. 

The idiot had broken his fall.

He watched Steve’s body for signs of life. He was cold, too cold. The rise and fall in his chest was barely there. Bucky could have easily been imagining it. His normally pink lips had turned a ghastly blue colour. He needed to move, they needed to move. The cold would kill them soon if they stayed lying on the ground. 

“Come on Stevie. We gotta get out of here.” Bucky struggled to pull himself up off Steve’s chest. His left arm was almost certainly broken. He couldn’t move his fingers and there was a burning sensation all the way up to his shoulder. He let the useless limb hang limply at his side. His good arm reached towards Steve’s face, his fingers tracing the bruised skin. His eyes stung as tears started to fall, almost freezing on his face. 

“Steve please. I can’t do this alone.” He begged the lifeless man. He stumbled to his feet, his knees almost gave out immediately and he was pretty sure he’d broken an ankle along with several ribs. It was hard to tell when his whole body felt like it was on fire but his need to get Steve to safety was stronger. He pulled Steve’s dead weight into his arms. It would have been a lot easier to carry him before the serum. Now he was 200 pounds of solid muscle and it was fucking difficult to even lift his friend, let alone drag his ass through the snow. 

Bucky was stronger now. Whatever shit Zola had pumped into his veins had made him stronger than before but he wasn’t strong enough for this, not without Steve. 

He was nothing without Steve.

But he had to be. 

He had to save them both. He grimaced and gritted his teeth together. Every step was hell. Every breath felt like he was being stabbed. Every cell in his body wanted to crumple to the ground and let death take him but whilst there was a chance that Steve could live, he had to keep going. 

The sun was fading behind the mountains by the time Bucky found shelter. There was a small cave in the side of the mountain, barely big enough for Steve alone but it was shelter. He carefully dropped Steve to the floor and all but collapsed next to him. He lungs were on fire and he barely had a moment to breathe before he threw up over the cold stone and passed out next to Steve’s cold body.

* * *

“Steve?” 

Bucky stirred from where he pressed against Steve’s body. The voice was familiar but Bucky was too tired to work out why. His left arm had slowly started to knit itself back together thanks to his enhanced healing, the deep gash on his shoulder was now scabbed over. It probably wouldn’t even scar after a few days. The bones were still mostly broken and would probably need re-breaking from where they had started to heal in places. His wrist was currently twisted at a strange angle that wasn’t natural. 

“Jesus Christ, Carter there’s so much blood. They can’t still be alive.” Another voice echoed from the snowy mountains outside. Bucky wondered how long he’d been asleep, he hadn’t even managed to build a fire before he’d passed out from the pain. The shelter was cold but it had stopped them from freezing to death. 

“They have to be.” A third voice. Was it a rescue party? Were they going to survive this? 

Bucky inhaled deeply, and the pain in his ribs caused him to hiss. He blinked a couple of times as he struggled to remain conscious. Steve’s chest was still moving, barely. Bucky sighed with relief, he was still alive. 

“Bucky Bear!” Howard Stark was here? Bucky tried to call out, to help his friends find them but no sound came out. His throat was dry from the cold air and dehydration, and every breath was like hell on earth. He was sure he should be dead. Had Steve made some kind of deal with the devil when he volunteered his body for science?

“I don’t know who you are but if this is some sick joke I will make sure you’ll never see the light of day again” Carter’s voice hissed.

“Captain Rogers is alive.” Fucking hell. God Damnit! Heimdall was with Carter and Stark. Bucky tried to speak again. If Steve didn’t get medical attention soon, even the serum wouldn’t keep him alive. It was a miracle they had lasted this long. 

“This guy seems to know too much for my liking Pegs. You sure we can trust him?” 

“We don’t have a choice. We have to find Steve before Hydra do.” 

Find Steve. All they wanted was to find Steve, their precious Captain America. He wondered whether any of them even cared that Steve Rogers was one hell of a guy before the magic serum and experiments. 

Bucky tried to crawl over to the entrance of the cave but his body was too weak from exhaustion and blood loss. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten food or had a drink. Hell he wasn’t even sure how long he’d been unconscious, collapsed on Steve’s broken body. If Carter and the others didn’t find them soon they were dead. Bucky had no delusions about that. It had been a long time since he prayed, the war had shaken his belief in God, but still he sent out a prayer to whatever Gods or Goddess’s were listening and begged them to help guide Peggy to their small icy shelter. 

“This way.” Heimdall called to the others. Bucky sighed in relief, his prayer had worked. Whoever had given Heimdall his mission had heard him. They were going to be rescued and not a moment too soon as Bucky struggled to keep his eyes open. The cave was just started to fade to black as Peggy Carter came rushing in.

* * *

The journey back through the mountains was a blur. Bucky vaguely remembered Dum Dum’s face looking down at him as he was carried through the snow. He fell in and out of consciousness, only catching snippets of their long journey back; mountain path, a plane, a forest. When he was awake he heard the commandos talking in hushed voices. Even with his enhanced hearing he could not make out their words through his muddled daze. Occasionally he would catch sight of Steve’s blue uniform, stained red as he was carried by two of the commandos on a heavy stretcher. 

“Steve…” He croaked whenever he was conscious enough.

“He’s alive.” Someone would respond before the darkness took him again. 

When he finally returned to the world of the living he was in the medical bay of base camp. It felt all too like returning from the Hydra factory in Azzano. Angie’s angelic face was beaming down at him as he blinked against the bright lights.

“Welcome back Soldier.” She gave his right hand a quick squeeze. “You had us all worried for a moment there.”

“Steve?” He looked around the bay in panic. There was no sign of Steve’s blond mop of hair anywhere. 

“Alive but barely. You did well to keep him alive as long as you did.” She grimaced.

“I did fuck all.” He spat out fiercely. The only thing he’d been able to do was find shelter. Steve was alive because of Erskine’s serum and Bucky knew it was his fault that Steve was hurt in the first place. 

“Now there. None of that. Finding that cave saved both your lives and you know it Soldier. Chin up.” Angie batted him over the head lightly.

“Sorry Ang.” He grumbled. 

She nodded and they fell into an easy silence whilst she checked his injuries. His left shoulder still had a faint scar but the damage under the skin was still prevalent. His movement was severely restricted and it hurt to lift his arm above his head. As he had predicted they had had to break several of the bones in his left arm and hand as they had healed too fast. Almost all of them needed resetting properly. His ankle was weak but the bones weren’t broken. The most pain he felt was in his chest. They were pretty sure one of his ribs had punctured his lungs. He was healing faster than he should but by all rights he should be dead. 

“Can I see him?” Bucky asked weakly when Angie had finished checking him over. She shook her head sadly. 

“I know you feel better love but you need to rest.” She was right. Of course she was right but Bucky didn’t care. He didn’t Steve. The last time he had seen him he was on death’s door. 

“No.” Bucky scowled. “I need Steve. Please Angie.” He begged her. She closed her eyes and sighed.

“Wait here. I’ll see what I can do.” She reached down to kiss his cheek and then fluttered out of the tent.

Now he was alone, Bucky wondered for the first time how long he had been unconsciousness. How much time had passed since that fateful day on the train? To Bucky it felt like only yesterday but logically he knew that it must have been longer. After all the Commandos had returned to Camp and been able to muster together a rescue party in the time that Bucky had been unconscious in the cave. That didn’t even take into account the journey back after the rescue and how ever many days he had been in the small hospital cot. 

“Can you stand?” Peggy was stood at the entrance to the tent. Bucky nodded, not knowing whether he could or not. He struggled to sit up in his cot and swung his legs so they were overhanging the bed. He ignored the black spots on his vision as the world started to spin. He was sure he was pale as the blood rushed from his head. Peggy raised her eyebrow but didn’t say anything. She knew how much this meant to him. Tentatively he shifted his weight forward, putting pressure on his damaged ankle. He gritted his teeth and hissed but ignored Peggy’s concerned looks.

“Barnes?” 

“It’s fine. Give me a hand will you?” 

He wasn’t too proud to ask for help, not if it meant he could see Steve. He needed to see Steve. He needed to see him alive. Peggy sighed and moved to help support his weight. He slung his arm round her shoulder and together they hobbled towards the private area of the medical bay. He’d known it was bad. He had seen Steve’s broken crumpled body underneath him in the snow but nothing could have prepared him for the sight of Steve lying unconscious on the hospital bed. 

One look at his friend’s pale yet peaceful face and he was instantly transported back to Brooklyn. Before the war, before the serum, before any of this hell.

And Steve was a skinny bag of bones with a dodgy heart and too much anger against the world. 

_“Steve?” Bucky whispered in the cold apartment. There was no sound except the odd car bustling passed the window outside and the wheeze of Steve’s heavy breaths. There were becoming weaker and the shine of cold sweat of Steve’s brow gave the blond a pallid sickly complexion. It had started with a slight cough. “Just a cough Buck.” Steve had said. “Nothing to worry about” Steve had said. God Bucky wanted to kill the idiot himself for being so damn stupid! They couldn’t afford the proper medicine so Steve had hidden the worst of his symptoms until it was too late. Bucky hadn’t even realised how sick his friend was until one day he could barely lift his head off the pillow of his bed._

_“Steve, come on pal you gotta eat something” Bucky tried again but there was still no response. He pressed the back of his hand to Steve’s forehead. It was too cold but there wasn’t any money left to heat the small apartment and Steve was already covered in every blanket they owned. Bucky let out a shaky breath, a cloud appearing in the cold air in front of him. He’d learned very early on in their friendship that almost every day could be Steve’s last but he always prayed that he wouldn’t be around to witness it. Bucky couldn’t imagine his life without Steve’s radiant presence in it. His life had been a world of black and white before Steve had stumbled into it bringing colour and magic._

_“Buck…” Steve croaked out and Bucky’s head snapped up. His lips were cracked with a blue tinge. His long eyelashes fluttered as he tried to open his eyes but he was unable to focus on anything._

_“Shh… Steve. I’m here. I got you pal. I got you.” Bucky murmured as he pressed his lips to Steve’s knuckles. It was a bold move but Bucky was sure that Steve wouldn’t remember if he ever survived._

_“Thirsty…” Steve’s voice was hoarse and weak. It damn well broke Bucky’s heart but the agony of seeing his friend like this was mixed with sweet relief that his heart was still beating. He rushed to the sink in the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Steve’s fingers curled around the air where Bucky’s hand hand been moments before._

_“Here you go Stevie. Careful now.” Bucky cooed as he lifted the glass to Steve’s lips. Steve made an attempt to scowl at him but it was a helpless attempt._

_“‘Mmm fine. Don’t need help.” He muttered as the water dribbled down his chin._

_“Sure you don’t punk. Just do me a favour and let me help. Your mother would strike me down if I didn’t help her little boy.” Bucky chuckled but it sounded strained even to his ears._

_“‘Mmm not little.” This time Bucky really did laugh. Here he was, basically on deaths door, and he was still picking a fight with Bucky over semantics._

_“Of course not punk. You’ve got the biggest heart I know.” Bucky brushed the sweaty blond strands of hair out of Steve’s eyes and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Steve smiled dopily and reached out for Bucky’s hand again which Bucky gladly gave him. He was just looking after his best friend. That was all this was, just a bit of hand holding between friends. The kiss on the forehead was something Sarah used to do when Steve got sick, that’s all. They were like brothers, that’s what everyone said._

_“Love you Buck…” Steve whispered as he drifted back to sleep. Bucky felt his heart stop and his cheeks flared with warmth at Steve’s words._

_“I love you too pal. I love you too.” He squeezed Steve’s hands and rested his chin on the lumpy mattress beside Steve and prayed he would live to see the dawn._

The morning after Bucky had gone to find the priest. Steve had only gotten worse as the chill of the night had set in and Bucky had woken with a start to find Steve barely breathing on the bed next to him. That had been the first time that Steve had been given Last Rites. It had been a miracle then that Steve had survived and it was a miracle now as Bucky looked at the scars that covered the blond’s bare chest. Thanks to the serum they would soon heal but for now it was a vivid reminder of the sacrifice that Steve had made for him, and supposedly for the universe if Heimdall could be believed.

“Sergeant Barnes?” Peggy touched his shoulder gently with her fingers. He shook his head as he was snapped out of his thoughts. 

“How long has it been?” Bucky asked still staring at the unconscious body of is friend.

“Two weeks. The whole incident has been classified. The press are not aware at Captain Rogers’s condition or the fact that you were ever missing and presumed dead.” Peggy responded professionally.

“Christ.” He ran his hands through his hair. His shoulder twinged at the motion but he ignored it. The pain he was feeling was nothing compared to Steve. “How long were we in the mountains?” 

“About three days. The Colonel wasn’t even going to send out a rescue party.” Peggy’s shoulders slumped as the weight was lifted from her. “I’m so sorry Bucky. We had no idea it was even possible you could be alive.”

“Heimdall changed your mind.” He stated. He’d known that the Asgardian must have influenced the rescue party. He remembered hearing his voice outside the cave. He’d insisted they were still alive even when the others had doubts. Peggy gave him a puzzled look and nodded. “Why did you believe him?”

“Honestly?” She looked a little sheepish. “We didn’t but he made the case that Captain Rogers’s body and blood was just as valuable to Hydra dead as he was alive.” 

Bucky scowled. It was logical. It was a great strategy in the war against Hydra. It was even brilliant, a way to convince the brass to undertake a useless rescue mission but it was also cold and calculating. It numbed Bucky’s heart and filled him with rage. He’d always known that was all Steve was to the men they served, not a person or even a number like Bucky was, but a resource. He was the serum that Erskine injected into his veins. He was a scientific miracle, a weapon to be used against Hydra and god forbid the enemy would ever get a hold of that weapon.

“James, I know what you’re thinking…” Peggy started to say but Bucky brushed passed her and knelt at Steve’s bedside without another word. He’d heard enough. She sighed but relented to his silence. “I’ll leave you two alone. Don’t stay too long Barnes. You need your rest as well.”

Bucky grasped Steve’s hand in his and reach up to brush the messy golden hair off of Steve’s forehead. One of the perks of the serum was that Steve’s hair grew much faster than before, making it almost impossible for him to keep it at the Army’s preferred short length. He managed to hide it under his navy blue helmet most of the time but there was no hiding it now. It was long enough to tuck behind his ears. It reminded Bucky of the smaller boy from Brooklyn who couldn’t afford a proper cut and wouldn’t trust his best friend with a pair of scissors. 

“Hey Stevie.” He whispered and for just a moment he thought that Steve’s eyelids would flutter open and he would be greeted by his beautiful ocean blue eyes. His hopes were short lived as Steve did not stir. He sighed and pressed a kiss against Steve’s palm. “You gotta wake up soon punk. You and me have got to have some serious words about you doing stupid shit ok?”

“I miss you Stevie. It feels like a lifetime ago since we were on that train together. I feel like I’m starting to forget the exact colour of your eyes. They are beautiful and blue as the summer sky. I’ve always thought that, since the moment I met you, but I can’t remember where the little flecks of green twist into the blue. I can’t remembered the exact sound of your laugh when Jimmy calls you Captain Spangles and I keep thinking to myself. What if I never get to hear it again?”

Bucky stayed by Steve’s bedside long after dark. He hadn’t even realised that he’d fallen asleep on crouch on the floor beside him until Angie was shaking him by the shoulders. 

“Come on Soldier, you need your own bed.” Angie pulled him to his feet. He winced as his ankle gave way underneath him but Angie caught him and dragged him bed to his own bed in the medical bay. He protested weakly. What if Steve woke up and he wasn’t there? “We’ll wake you as soon as he does. I promise.”

He begrudgingly trudged back to his bed. There was a note on his pillow, scrawled on the back of a torn up Captain America poster. He stared wistfully at the freckles on Steve’s face that were just about visible under the blue helmet. The poster was torn diagonally across Steve’s face, cutting across the bridge of his nose and under his left eye. He gently traced the edges of the torn paper before flipping the note over to read the messy handwriting. 

_Good to have you back Sarge. Don’t go scaring us like that again._

_\- Howlies_

In the corner of the note was a small and terrible sketch of Steve and Bucky holding hands. Steve had a giant disc in front of him with a lop sided star emblazoned on the front and Bucky’s army hat was crooked on his head. He chuckled and tucked the note under his pillow before lying down to sleep. 

Rest did not come easy. Every time he drifted off to sleep he was torn back to reality by the sounds of his own screams. Nightmares plagued his thoughts, dreams of torture and of trains. Dream where it had been Steve falling into the mountain below but Bucky had been stuck, his body wouldn’t move and Steve had disappeared into the snowy ravine. They were separated and the next thing Bucky remembered was his fingers turning to dust as the universe began to cease to exist. As soon as the dawn broke over the camp he returned to Steve’s bedside. His ankle felt better today and he could walk without any support. 

On the third day since he had woken up, Angie pulled him away from Steve’s bedside so he could eat with the rest of the soldiers. Apparently it wouldn’t do anyone any good if he let himself starve. He didn’t feel hungry anymore though. Normally his body would be begging for sustenance but he felt sick to his stomach with worry. The commandos did their best to keep his mind distracted but it wasn’t easy. The easy jokes that would normally have his muscles aching with laughter fell flat. He couldn’t think of a single word to say where normally he would be teasing and jesting with the rest of them. He just wanted to be back with Steve, to see his exquisite blue eyes open and sparkle like they always did when Bucky flashed him his signature charming smile. 

Phillips asked to see him after lunch. It was apparently urgent business. Bucky scowled but picked himself up off the ground and left the Commandos behind. He was ashamed to admit that he was grateful for the excuse to leave his team. He just wasn’t in the right place to talk to them right now. The war was depressing enough without him bringing the mood down even more. They deserved better than that. 

Colonel Phillips stood in the middle of his grand tent. Unlike most of the camp he had a proper mattress and bed frame. Steve was lucky enough to have a thin mattress that was thrown on the floor each night but most of the men and women had bedrolls and sleeping bags. Bucky guessed that there had to be some advantages to being a high ranking officer. He certainly didn’t envy the decisions they had to make. 

“Sergeant Barnes.” Colonel Phillips greeted him as he pushed his way into the tent. Bucky gave him a quick salute.

“Sir. You asked to see me?” He straightened his back and smiled weakly at his commanding officer. 

“I did. Please sit down.” The Colonel gestured to an old wooden chair in the corner of his tent. Bucky took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“I’d rather stand. Unless that’s an order Sir.” He raised his eyebrow at the Colonel. “Am I in trouble Sir?” He couldn’t think of any reason he would be in trouble. He’d been unconscious for the best part of two weeks apparently. There hadn’t been any time for him to do anything wrong, unless the brass had found out about his relationship with their star soldier. 

“Quite the opposite Sergeant Barnes. I’ve asked you here so I can thank you for all your hard work. Your unit’s success rate is unparalleled and it’s been invaluable in our fight against the Germans.” Colonel Phillips handed Bucky a sheet of paper. He had quick glance over the writing. It looked like statistics and data that they had retrieved since forming the Commandos with Captain America at the helm. 

“Thank you Sir. It’s a team effort though. I’m just one guy with a rifle.” He clenched his fists behind his back. Of course the Colonel would never give any commendations to Jimmy or Gabe or even Falsworth. They weren’t good old fashion American soldiers in Phillips’s eyes. 

“You’re the best Sergeant Barnes which is why I have a proposal for you.” Phillips handed him a second piece of paper. This one was a newspaper article about Captain America. There were rumours circulating back at home that Captain America had been killed in action and what would this mean for the war. Apparently some smart shit had leaked to the press that Steve had returned to camp on a stretcher and had not been seen since. 

“I don’t understand Sir.” Bucky replied truthfully. He knew Steve wasn’t dead. He had been with him that morning. Most of the external injuries were fading fast but he still hadn’t woken up. Angie and the other nurses couldn’t work out why. 

“The world thinks Captain America is dead. It had sparked mass panic and there has been a major decline in the money earned for the war. The morale in the camps are at an all time low and we’re starting to fall back where we should be attacking with full force. The world needs Captain America.” Colonel Phillips stated with the stone cold professionalism that many of the higher ranking officers had perfected.

“With all due respect Sir” Bucky hissed angrily. “Steve is in a fucking coma having saved my life.” 

“Steve is yes and we hope he will make a swift and full recovery.” Phillips didn’t react to Bucky’s outburst. “In the meantime, we need a new man in the suit.”

“What?” Bucky spluttered. There weren’t anymore super-soldiers. Bucky suspected he was probably enhanced in some ways but he was still a damn sight weaker than Steve. The only reason he had healed so quickly from his injuries was because Steve had taken most of the impact.  

“And we were hoping you would be the man for the job.” The Colonel continued. Bucky blushed and blinked at the Colonel. Sure he was a good soldier and a damn good shot but he wasn’t Captain America, even if he did look damn good in the uniform. Steve had insisted that he try it on on one very memorable night in Steve’s tent. 

“Wow… Sir. It’s an honour really but I’m not really sure I’m the best choice.” He stammered. Being Captain America would mean going straight back into missions and Bucky wasn’t sure he was ready for that. His shoulder still wasn’t a hundred percent and being away from Steve felt like a death sentence. 

“Nonsense. You already have the clearance for the team and you know how the unit works. You’ll be a man down whilst Captain Rogers is still in recovery but I have no doubt you can do this.” Phillips said in a tone that left Bucky with little room to argue. 

“Of course Sir. Thank you Sir.” He nodded. “Was that all?” 

“Yes Sergeant. Report back at dusk. Gather your men and suit up. We’ve received some fresh intelligence from our Swiss friend that I want you to scope out.” Bucky nodded reluctantly and gave a lacklustre salute. “Good. You’re dismissed.” 

* * *

Dum Dum let out a long whistle as Bucky emerged from Steve’s tent wearing his signature navy blue suit. It didn’t fit quite right, Angie and Peggy had already helped him take up the trousers an inch and he had to wear his own brown leather boots rather than Steve’s Captain America ones. There was also a ridiculous amount of space around his shoulders that had been padded out with an extra layer of protective gear and not enough space around his waist. He felt ridiculous wearing this outside the confines of Steve’s tent. He fought back a blush as he remembered the last time he’d tried it on at Steve’s request. 

“Looking good Sarge.” Morita cheered from where the Commandos were standing. 

“Don’t you mean Captain?” Bucky winked as he buckled up the helmet which was covering his brunet hair. As far as most of the soldiers were aware, he was Captain America now so whilst he was in uniform he had been instructed to wear the stupid blue helmet at all times. He was a sniper and blue, red and white did not camouflage well in the forest. He missed his own armoured suit. Sure it was still a dark navy blue but at least he didn’t look like a walking comic book character. 

“Let’s hear it for Captain America!” Jones yelled as the other soldiers around the camp slowly began to gather round. 

A loud cheer went up from the camp as they realised that their hero wasn’t dead after all. Bucky glared at his friends and suddenly realised why Steve had been so pissed with him after he’d pulled the same trick so many moons ago. His eyes flickered towards the medical tent where Steve was still helplessly unconscious and sighed. God Steve would have a field day if he knew what Bucky was doing right now. He was sure he’d never hear the end of it. 

Their mission was pretty routine at this stage, take down one of the last Hydra camps. Nothing they hadn’t done before but it felt alien going in without Steve. The shield felt heavy in his hands. He was sure that it hadn’t been so heavy before when Steve had thrown it to him in the midst of battle. They had become a pretty lethal team before the train. The shield, whilst it belonged to Steve, would be passed around the whole unit in an almost choreographed dance as they took down their enemies. Bucky and Steve probably used the vibranium disc the most as their extra strength meant they could really cause some damage as the bashed Hydra agents, but it had saved all their lives at one point or another. Bucky had always enjoyed picking up the shield before throwing it back to Steve but now it felt like it weighed ten times as much. It was like the weight of the world was in his hands. 

He’d fought with Phillips about his own weapons. Steve normally carried one small pistol for emergencies, favouring the shield as his weapon and trusting that the team would take any shots that were needed. Bucky had become Steve’s personal sniper for most missions. Falsworth did an admirable job of watching the others but Bucky’s main focus had always been Steve. So when the Colonel had tried to confiscate Bucky’s favourite rifle he had put up a fight. There was no chance in hell that he was going to lead the men into Battle with a dinner plate and a pistol. If Steve wanted to be that stupid then so be it but Bucky was a sniper first and foremost. He was keeping his guns, not to mention the set of knives he kept tucked away in his armour. 

What no one had counted on was the advantage this would give them over the Hydra agents. The agents had clearly been briefed on Steve’s fighting style and were completely stunned when Bucky pulled his trusted rifle off of his back and starting raining bullet down on them. They tried to shoot at his ankles which were left exposed by the ridiculously small shield but Bucky spotted the angle of their guns faster than should have been possible and a few shots to the head and the threat was eliminated. They flew through the base, looking for anything that they could bring back as intelligence and the Hydra agents didn’t stand a chance. They were one man down but they were operating in a whole new way. 

They returned to base camp victorious. The Hydra cell was burnt down to the ground and they had a whole hoard of their high tech weapons for Stark to take apart. There was still no new information on Red Skull though. It didn’t matter how many agents they took down, their frightful leader remained elusive. He had covered his tracks well and there was still no sign of him or his plans. He was planning something big, he had to be but every time they came close to getting the information from an agent they spat a “hail Hydra” and choked to death on cyanide. It was infuriating. Luckily, from what Bucky could tell, Arnim Zola had a better sense of self preservation. He had been close to Schmidt so if anyone knew would the Skull’s plans were then Zola would once Carter and Phillips worked out how to make him talk. 

Their return to camp was quiet. Most of the 107th were still out on their own missions. The camp had slowly moved through the forest as they managed to push the front line further into enemy territory. Bucky shuddered as he remembered his own time at the front and in the trenches. It had been hell on earth. He was grateful that he was part of the Commandos’ special ops team. Their missions were harder in some ways, they had less men and it was always a more intricate approach but the men in the trenches were the real heroes. 

It was a mind game out there. You never knew if you were going to be blown apart in your sleep, your feet were always wet and the boots did nothing to keep out the cold. The rations were brutal and time ceased to exist. He’d seen too many good men have their heads blown off in the trenches. He sent a quick prayer that most of his old team would survive the latest push and that they were just injured enough to be sent home. That was the dream for most men out there. Phillips had briefly offered Bucky a chance to leave after Azzano but the very next day Steve had quite literally danced into camp and Bucky had no intention of going back to a home without Steve Rogers by his side. So he had stayed and he would continue to stay until Steve finally gave up the fight. They would leave together. Peggy promised them she would help them leave together when the time came. 

Peggy came out to greet them as they made their way through the ghost town that was the camp. Her hair was uncharacteristically falling out of the pins in her hair and she had dark circles under her eyes. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Bucky ran the last few feet towards her and took her petite hands in his. 

“Steve?” He searched her tired eyes for answers. She chuckled quietly and squeezed his hands. 

“Still unconscious but alive.” She sighed and reached up to kiss his cheek like he’s seen her do with Steve before after they had returned to camp. “It’s Zola” She murmured in his ear. 

Bucky froze. Had Zola managed to escape? After all the shit they had been through to capture him alive and they had let him escape? He cursed and spun round on his heels. He scratched the back of his neck, a poor substitute for pulling on his hair that was still tucked away under his helmet. 

“What happened?” He asked as she gestured for him to follow her back to the Colonel’s tent. The Commandos followed a few paces behind, carrying their loot from the mission. 

“He’s been killed.” She stated as they pushed their way into the tent. The Colonel was staring at the large map on the table holding a thick folder in his hands. 

Once inside Bucky pulled off the helmet and shook his hair out, freedom at last. His hair was getting a touch too long for army regulations but he hadn’t had the time to get it cut. He’d have to ask Peggy later for her help. That girl was a miracle worker when it came to hair. “Suicide?” He asked. It would make sense. Every other agent had taken the easy way out once they had been captured.

“Shot. The angle was wrong for suicide.” Peggy passed him a photograph. 

Zola was truly dead then. Bucky’s stomach rolled as he took in the photograph. It was a clean shot to the head but there was no way Zola would have been able to twist his hand at the right angle to take the shot himself. That meant he had been murdered by someone in the camp. His presence in the camp had been highly classified and only a handful of soldiers had been notified of the Doctor’s capture. Bucky’s team were amongst the small number and would probably have been suspects if they hadn’t been away at the time. If Zola hadn’t been their only hope at finding Schmidt then Bucky would have been relieved to see the brains of his torturer splattered on the floor of his cell.

“Fucking hell.” He breathed as he passed the photo back. “What about Schmidt?” 

“Our mystery assassin left us a gift.” The Colonel said gruffly. He was clearly not too happy about the development. Bucky couldn’t really blame him. They had been chasing Zola for months and now he was dead at the hands of a mystery assailant. Bucky was starting wonder whether Heimdall had been involved. He had a habit of sticking his nose in places where he didn’t belong. 

Phillips threw the folder down on the table and Bucky gingerly reached out to flick through the pages. It was a fucking miracle. There were coordinates, scientific equations, photographs of some strange cube that appeared to be the energy source of Hydra’s weapons. Bucky felt sick when he read through the test results of experiments that Zola had conducted on soldiers like Bucky. It was gruesome and cruel, Bucky was damn lucky to be alive by the looks of it. He was pretty sure he was the only one that had survived the specialist treatment. 

“Sergeant Barnes?” Peggy was looking at him with worry clear on her face. He hadn’t spoken much about his time with Zola. It was easier to try and forget but here it was, laid out in front of them clear as day. 

“I’m fine. Where did you find this?” He batted away her questions, ignoring the hurt expression on her face. 

“Dumped on my desk this morning after we found the body. All the information we needed and more.” Peggy smirked. 

Bucky sighed. He had hoped they would have at least a couple of days rest before heading out again but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. He ran his fingers through his dirty hair anxiously. “So when do we leave?”

“First thing tomorrow.” Peggy had the decency to look apologetic but war was war and shit needed to get done.

“What’s our mission Agent?” Dum Dum asked. Bucky glanced behind him to see the men all rallied round. Steve should be by his side in this stupid suit. This was everything they been fighting for for months, almost a whole year, and now Steve wasn’t even here to see it. 

“We have a location on Schmidt. We need a team to scope the route and any possible weaknesses on the base before we launch an attack. We don’t have much time but it is imperative that we don’t go in blind.” Peggy handed them each a personalised file. Bucky flicked through his. He was in charge of leading the team and finding where the Skull would be lurking. It was an in and out mission with minimal risk and kills. Stealth would be their friend here. 

He sighed. “First thing tomorrow you said?” He asked and Peggy nodded. “In that case, with all due respect sir, ma’am, we need to rest up.” He needed to see Steve. He couldn’t leave again without checking in on his best friend.

“Of course. You’re all dismissed. I expect you all to get an early night. No messing about.” 

“Yes sir.” They all echoed and left the tent in single file. Peggy cleared her throat just as he was about to leave. He turned and gave her a questioning look.

“Hair.” She raised her eyebrow and smiled, rolling his eyes he pulled the stupid helmet back on and followed the rest of his team. One by one the commandos filed off into their own tents. When he reached his tent he looked around to check that the Colonel wasn’t watching him and that ran off towards the medical bay. The floor beside Steve wasn’t any more uncomfortable than his sleeping bag next to Dum Dum and he’d sleep better knowing he would be there if Steve woke up. 

The nurses paid no attention as he slipped through the beds towards Steve’s cornered off area. He shot Angie a quick smile on his way passed. She rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything. Steve looked so peaceful laid down on the bed. It was like he was just asleep after a long day. There was no sign of the injuries he had received from the fall. His skin now had a healthy flush to it and his lips had returned to their usual pink colour. The scars that once covered his chest were gone. Bucky picked up the clipboard at the end of the bed. It was Angie’s writing which Bucky was pleased about. She was a real doll and Steve liked her the best. He felt sick looking through the long list of injuries; multiple breaks to the back and rib cage, cracked skull, shattered pelvis, pierced lungs and extensive internal bleeding. He closed his eyes and forced the image of his boyfriend’s broken body out of his mind. He was better now. You would have to be blind not to see it. Still he was yet to wake up. Bucky supposed there was probably trauma that Steve’s mind was trying to recover from. Rationally he knew that Steve would wake up when he was ready but God it felt like a lifetime already. 

He pressed a gentle kiss to Steve’s lips. If this were a fairytale then that would be what woke Steve from his slumber but this was war and Steve eye’s remained shut. Bucky fell to his knees by Steve’s bedside and grasped his hand. It was in that position that sleep finally came to him, a restless and dreamless sleep. 

Tomorrow would be difficult so Fate, or was it Time herself, let the wounded soldiers sleep well that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that wasn't toooooo bad. No one is dead right? Steve will be back next chapter I promise. It felt really weird not having any of his POV but it was Bucky's time to shine apparently. I'm on tumblr @avengersbarnes if you wanna come cry over Stucky or MCU with me. Until next time!


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this has taken so long. I don't have a good excuse except for I got super anxious pre Endgame because not knowing what was gonna happen... I just couldn't deal. So I had to skip to other fandoms for a while. Anyway I've seen it now. It won't affect this story in the slightest and I won't make any comment on it. I do ask that you respectfully keep any spoilers out of the comment section. I hope you enjoy the chapter. It's been a long time coming. (Note it's super late and this has probably got mistakes that I haven't noticed whilst proof reading so if you catch any let me know and I'll make some edits.)

“Steve” A soft voice echoed in the darkness. Steve blinked as he struggled to open his eyes. His body felt lighter than he expected. He’d expected the fall to do more damage even with the serum. As his eyes opened he was almost blinded by light. He couldn’t remember Europe ever being quite this bright before. “Steve” The voice called again. He smiled brightly. He knew that voice. It was the voice of an angel.

“Ma?” He turned around quickly as he tried to find the familiar strands of blonde hair. 

Sure enough his mother was standing behind him. She looked as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair tied up as it always was. She was wearing a soft white dress, it bore a striking resemblance to her nurse uniform. Steve couldn’t help but chuckle. Even on earth she had been a saviour. She smiled softly at him, the crinkles at the corner of her eyes were less prominent and her skin had a youthful glow. Heaven had been kind to her.

That thought struck Steve harder than it should. If they were in Heaven then did that mean he was dead. He couldn’t be dead, Heimdall had said he needed to be with Bucky. He couldn’t leave him behind. He looked down at his own body and clothes. He was startled to see his body had shrunk back to the skinny, frail frame he had in Brooklyn. He was still wearing his Captain America uniform, even though it had been bleached to a brilliant white and it somehow still fit his smaller body. 

“How are you here? Am I - ” He began to question but his Ma cut him off. 

“No Honey. You’re not dead.” Sarah said as she gracefully strode forward and brushed a strand of his hair off his face. Steve felt a sob catch in his throat as he flung his arms around the woman he’d buried half a decade ago. 

“I’ve missed you Ma.” Steve mumbled into her shoulder,  suddenly felt grateful that he wasn’t the six foot wall of muscle that he’d grown used to. Seeing his Ma again made him feel like a kid again and it felt right that he had a body to match. 

“I missed you too, Sugar Pie, but you can’t stay here.” She breathed softly in his ear as her hands gently stroked his hair. Steve’s heart sank. She was right, of course she was, but could he really leave her so quickly after getting her back? He hadn’t realised how desperately he’d needed to feel his mother’s love over the last few months. The war was tougher than he had ever began to imagine.

“But I can’t leave you here.” His voice cracked. He hated appearing so weak. His mother had given up everything for him and he couldn’t even give her a hug without getting emotional. Bucky always said Steve was the strong one even before the serum but Steve couldn’t agree. He was weak. He always had been and he probably always would be. The serum just made it easier to hide. 

“You know I’m always with you my darling boy but it’s not your time yet.” Sarah pulled out of the embrace and gave him a loving look. Her green eyes sparkled just like Steve remembered. She place a small hand on Steve’s chest, right where his heart was beating. Steve blinked the tears out of his eyes and place his hand on top of hers. “James needs you more than I do sweetie.” She whispered wisely. Her words caused Steve’s heart to jump.

“Bucky…” Steve breathed. Bucky needed him. How could he ever be so selfish to even dream of staying here without him? He looked up at his Ma in a panic. Did she know about his relationship with Bucky? She had told him she was always with him so she must know. Even so, Steve knew he had to tell her. He’d never had the courage before she died to tell her. He thought he’d missed his chance when he threw dust over her coffin. “I love him Ma.”

To Steve’s surprise, Sarah laughed. It was a beautiful melodic laugh. It was a laugh that brought back a thousand memories like an old photo album. “Oh Steven. Did you really think I didn’t know? I’ve known you your entire life and you think I couldn’t see what was going on between you two.” Sarah ruffled his hair fondly and smiled. Steve couldn’t believe his ears. His mind went blank and he just stared at his mother. 

“You’re not mad?” He heard himself say. 

“Sugar Pie, how could I ever be mad at you for falling in love?” She kissed his forehead and grasped his hand tightly. 

“But it’s wrong for two fellas to fall in love.” He stuttered. He’d known his Ma was an angel but her love was once again proving to be a force of nature.

“Now I know you don’t believe that’s true.” She chided gently and bopped him on the nose with a laugh. She was right. He remembered the words he had said to Bucky back when he first admitted his feelings, just before their first kiss. The serum had fixed everything so it that meant there was nothing wrong with their feelings, with their love. It was the world that needed to be fixed.

“No but the world does.” He muttered under his breath. He felt his cheeks burn brightly under his mother’s gaze. It felt oddly nostalgic being told off by his Ma after so many years without her.

“Not all of it. Those boys of yours don’t seem to care and when did you start caring what the world thought of you. You’ve always stood up for what you believe in.” They both laughed at that. Steve remembered fondly the amount of fights he’d started just because some guys were being an ass to a lady or called him a fairy or some other colourful variation.

“I love you Ma.” He kissed her cheek and pulled her into a hug. His body was starting to ache. He knew he didn’t have much time left before his body pulled him back to consciousness. 

“I love you too, Honey.” She wrapped her arms around his body. He realised with a start his body was starting to grow. His mother was suddenly half a head shorter than he was and there were muscles in his arms once more. “It’s time for you to wake up now. Tell James to cut that hair of his and try to be careful Sugar Pie.” She began to fade as the light grew darker. Steve started to panic. He didn’t want to say goodbye. 

“Ma?” His arms fell through the air as she disappeared.  “Ma? His knees gave way underneath him as his body started to burn with pain.“Don’t leave me…” He whispered just as he blacked out. 

* * *

“Steve” A soft voice echoed in the darkness. Steve blinked as he struggled to open his eyes. He was hit by a strange sense of deja vu. His body ached and his head felt like it was spinning. This definitely wasn’t Heaven.

“Ma?” His voice croaked and he finally managed to open his eyes. The room was bright, lights shone down from the canvas ceiling of the tent. 

“You must have hit your head real hard on the way down Captain.” A voice that certainly did not belong to his mother laughed.

“What?” Steve mumbled as he struggled to focus on the figure in front of him. The blonde angelic form of his Ma had disappeared and had been replaced by a brunette. “Angie?”

“Hey Brooklyn.” She smiled brightly at him. He could still see the worry in her dark eyes though and he felt a twinge of guilt as he wondered how long he’d been asleep. “How you feeling? You gave us all a scare there.”

How was he feeling? Tired mostly, and sore. His joints ached and his muscles felt as if he’d been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. His head was spinning and for the first time since the serum the world was out of focus. Even his chest felt tight and Steve was reminded of the breathlessness he felt after an asthma attack. He drew a shaky breath and looked around the cramped medical bay. They had separated his cot from the rest of the wing with a bed sheet. He guessed being Captain America had its perks. His brow furrowed as he noticed Bucky’s hat sitting on the chair next him. 

"Where’s Bucky?” His boyfriend was noticeably absent from the room. He knew if their roles were reversed that Steve wouldn’t have left his side for the world. He wouldn’t be able to rest until Bucky opened his beautiful ice blue eyes. Panic started to rise in his chest. It hadn’t been enough. Even with Steve holding Bucky close as they landed and Bucky’s knock off version of the serum, his best friend hadn’t managed to survive the fall. Tears pricked in his eyes and he just couldn’t seem to breathe. 

Angie rested her hand on his leg. The sudden physical touch pulled him from the anxiety attack that was beginning to take a grip. “God you two are as bad as each other.” She muttered with a fond smile.  “It’s a wonder anyone is falling for your brothers in arms act.”

“Angie, Where is Bucky?” He repeated, whilst he appreciated her attempt at humour he needed an answer. He didn’t like how easily she dodged the question. Bucky had to be alive. He couldn’t lose him not after fighting so hard to be here with him. 

“Relax Brooklyn. He’s alive.” Steve let out the breath he had been holding and closed his eyes in relief. Bucky was safe.  “You broke his fall.” Steve nodded. He remembered catching up to Bucky in the air. He dove down letting his weight cut through the air. He remembered wrapping his arms around Bucky and Bucky’s screaming that they’ll die.  He remembered trying to turn their bodies in the air before his memory cut out and it went blank. “I must say, jumping off a moving train to your certain death is a new level of stupid even for you.” She chuckled. He rolled his eyes. Apparently Bucky had told his nurse friend all about their adventures before and during the war. 

“I survived didn’t I?” He tried to give Angie a lighthearted smile but his throat was still burning and he felt it turn into a grimace. Luckily for him Angie noticed his discomfort and passed him a glass of water from his bedside. 

“Barely. Barnes is gonna give you hell when he gets back.” She gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. 

He grimaced as he realised exactly how right she was. Bucky had yelled him for a lot less in the past. He fondly remembered Bucky following him all the way home from the movie theatre after a fight. The brunet had complained nonstop, barely drawing a breath, the whole way back about how stupid and reckless he’d been, about how Sarah Rogers did not nurse him back to health from his deathbed just for him to get killed in an alley. Steve had managed to tune out Bucky’s whining and eventually shut him up by pulling the brunet into a tight embrace and breathing a ‘thank you’  into his ear. Bucky had blushed beet red and promptly started muttering to himself about how damn lucky Steve was that they were friends. He had a feeling it wouldn’t be quite so easy to get Bucky off his back this time, and Steve could admit maybe he deserved it this time. 

“Gets back?” He asked. What did she mean ‘get back’? Steve knew Bucky wasn’t in the room but surely his team wouldn’t go on a mission without him. After all his was the leader and officially the only super soldier they had. He knew Bucky had been a soldier for months before Steve had arrived. He’d even seen the litany of scars that scattered Bucky’s skin, evidence of bullet wounds and close calls that all threatened to take his boyfriend’s life away from him. Their missions before hadn’t been quite as dangerous and specialised before though, with the exception of the accidental ambush by Hydra. Ok so maybe Bucky could handle himself without Steve but that didn’t mean that he had to like it. 

“He’s on a mission.” Angie stated. Her eyes glanced down at the floor. So she was hiding something that they didn’t want him to know.

“A mission?” He pushed for an answer. They stared at each other. Angie looked like she was searching for some kind of answer in Steve’s eyes. Eventually she must have decided that he wasn’t going to give up until he got what he wanted. 

“The world needed Captain America.” She admitted. Steve didn’t understand. The world already had Captain America. He was Captain America. He had the super strength to prove it. They even had a new blond actor in tights going around to finish the USO tour. Unless…

Bucky’s mission.

Bucky was acting as Captain America until Steve recovered.

“Huh. That’s smart.” He said dumbly. It wasn’t smart. It was incredibly stupid. Hydra didn’t hold back when ever Steve entered the fight. He supposed he did carry a giant target as his weapon and protection. The only reason he managed to survive was the strength and quick reactions the serum had blessed him with. Bucky didn’t have that luxury. Steve was beginning to get the feeling that they weren’t meant to survive this war together. It was what Heimdall had warned them about after all. He sighed as his eyes started to feel heavy. He’d been awake too long for his healing body. Angie seemed to notice the change.

“Somebody has to be. Now get some rest Spangles. Otherwise it will be my neck on the line.” She said as she made some last minute notes on his chart and gave his hair a quick ruffle. It had grown long whilst he’d been asleep. His Ma would have a fit if she could see it. 

“I’ll protect you from him.” He chuckled. He couldn’t imagine Bucky actually hurting Angie but he’d definitely make a show at being mad.“If only to save myself from Peggy. She’s a lot tougher than she looks.” Steve managed to give Angie a tired smile. Peggy couldn’t hurt him with the serum running through his veins but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try. He’d rather not have to face her wrath if he could help it.

"Yeah. She’s pretty great.” Angie sighed dopily. A wide smile on her face at the mention of her girlfriend. 

“You love her.” Steve stated. It was obvious. It was beautiful. He wondered how people could think that such pure joy could ever be against the will of God. 

“I really do. I thought I’d have to fight you for her you know.” Angie replied thoughtfully. Steve laughed tiredly. It was true that he found Peggy attractive, and he was pretty sure she thought the same about him. Maybe in some other universe they would have been together. It would have been a hell of a lot easier, much less sneaking around and flirting with people he didn’t love. Yes, it would have been easier but he knew in his heart in this lifetime, it wouldn’t have been right. He couldn’t let Bucky go that easily. He loved him too much for that.

“I wouldn’t have stood a chance.” He teased Angie. She blushed but shook her head in disbelief. 

“A nurse against Captain America. Be real Steve.” She poked him gently in the arm. 

He shook his head and laughed wearily. “I’m terrible with women.” 

“He’s right you know.” Peggy’s voice came from the makeshift doorway and they both turned to look at her. Angie’s eyes softened as the light of her life entered the room. Steve managed to give her a tired wave.

“English. Hey.” Angie breathed softly.

“There was never any competition my darling.” Peggy replied as she strode across the room. Her fingers brushed Angie’s cheek. “You were supposed to tell me when he woke up.” She chided. 

“Sorry Pegs. It’s not been long.” Angie said sheepishly. 

“And already gossiping about your love life. Honestly Ang. I can’t take you anywhere.” She laughed and Angie blushed. Steve looked fondly between the two of them. He hoped that one day people like them, like him and Bucky wouldn’t have to hide. The world deserve to see their love. It was shining far too brightly to be hidden away behind fake relationships and the darkness of the night. Peggy turned her attention to Steve and gave his hand a light squeeze. “Steve, it’s good to see you.” 

“You too Pegs. Sorry I worried you.” He apologised, the words slurring as sleep started to drag him back under. He did regret causing his best girl pain. He wondered if she had grieved for him. Did the Howlies think they had died when they fell from the train? It would have been a safe assumption. Now that he thought about it, how did he end up back at camp? Bucky had recovered from the fall quicker than he had. Was it Bucky that had pulled Steve’s body from the ravine back to base camp. 

“It isn’t me that you need to apologise to.” Peggy reminded him gently. 

“How is he?” Steve asked as he felt a twinge of guilt in his chest. His eyes hurt and he struggled to stay awake. It was becoming harder to keep his eyes open. Every time they flickered shut, Bucky’s eyes were looking back at him. The beautiful silvery blue eyes were so full of sadness and disappointment and Steve hated that he had been the one to cause it. He knew it was a delusion of his tired mind but there was truth behind it. Angie’s words that Bucky would give him hell echoed in his head. 

“It’s been difficult for all of us.” Peggy replied quietly. The trauma of Steve’s time asleep was evident in her voice. He blinked as he tried to focus on her words.  “At first he never left your side but people began to gossip. Rumours of your death spread around the camp like wildfire. We needed to take action. He’s been keeping busy ever since.” 

“When are they due back?” He asked, ignoring the black that started to creep into the corners of his vision. Sleep could wait until he knew about Bucky. Bucky was more important. He always would be. Until the end of the line Bucky’s voice echoed in his head. Steve smiled at the thought. Bucky always knew what to say. 

“Once they have all the information we need.” Peggy’s voice startled him back from the beginning of his dream. It wasn’t enough. He needed to know. He needed his Bucky. 

“Peggy…” He started to protest but she place a perfectly manicured finger on his lips. 

“Not now Steve. You’re barely staying awake and we need you back in the field as soon as possible.” Her tone left no room for arguing. 

Back in the field… with Bucky. That didn’t sound too bad. Maybe they could go back to their small apartment in Brooklyn instead. Bucky would like that. Steve thought that maybe they would be able to afford good pieces of meat from the butchers now, and vegetables that weren’t starting to go rotten. They could have fresh bread  in the mornings, with eggs and bacon. His salary from the USO tour alone would keep them out of poverty for the first time in their lives. They could cook together in their tiny kitchen, Bucky’s arms around his waist. Maybe he’d sit onto of their small kitchen counter and pull Bucky into a kiss whilst the food bubbled away on the stove. They could curl up together on a brand new sofa, one where you couldn’t feel the springs, and listen to the game on the radio, their legs entwined and hands sneaking up inside each other’s shirts. Maybe Steve could finally get a chance to buy some nice coloured paints and pencils. Bucky could model for him properly now, preferably with no clothes on. Steve would welcome the excuse to really study every inch of his lover’s body without the fear of someone walking in on them. 

They could have a life… 

Steve would like that very much indeed. 

It was with these thoughts of Bucky running through his head that Steve finally succumbed to sleep. 

 

* * *

 

Bucky was not sleeping so easily.

If it wasn’t the nightmares that kept him awake at night, it was the cold. It was a feeling of damp mud seeping through his worn out boots. It was the constant fear that at any time that dreaded blue light was going to tear up their camp. They had managed to scope out the mountain cave that Red Skull had made his base. It had been tough to get anywhere near the base and the Hydra agents that they captured and all bitten down on a damn cyanide pill before they could learn anything useful. Monty had been the one to suggest that maybe the bases weakness was the front door. Red Skull was too arrogant to believe anyone would dare try to attack so directly. So they spent a week marking out their route through the trees that headed down to the front gate. They made a note of where the soldiers were stationed and how fast it took for backup to arrive. Jimmy made a detailed plan of where Bucky or Steve, whoever was in the role of the Captain, would attack and when it would be best to defend. The blasters at the main gate would be difficult. The only thing that could with stand that was the damn shield. Bucky made a note to ask Stark about so modifications to the bike. What was the point of a shield if Steve was just a sitting duck on his bike? Once they’d mapped out the route they hiked around the base to make one last check for a way in that wasn’t suicide. Standing across the mountain they found their chance. 

A window.

Large enough for the commandos to smash through. Looking through binoculars they found the window opened into Schmidt’s own office. The chasm between the window and them made Bucky feel sick. He couldn’t even look at the drop without remembering falling through the air. He thought of Steve back at base in a deathlike coma. Steve had risked everything to get him here. He could jump through a bloody window if it meant defeating the mad man. 

So here they were returning to base with a suicidal plan that involved Captain America getting captured and the commandos flying on a zip wire across a mountain for the second time. 

Bucky did not feel too good about this plan but it was the only one they had. Now they just needed to convince Peggy and Colonel Phillips to band the 107th together as a distraction for Red Skulls army of men. 

Now they just had to wait for Steve to wake up. Bucky sighed as he prodded the campfire with a branch. Morita and Dernier were curled up nearby with Gabe and Falsworth,  trying to stay warm in their sleep whilst Dum Dum looked up at the stars. 

“You should be getting some rest Sarge. Your shift ended hours ago.” Dum Dum’s voice broke the eery silence between them. 

“That’s not working out too well for me. You can sleep. I got this.” He replied not looking up from the flames. “Join the pile of soldiers by the fire. No use in you getting cold.”

“Not the same without Cap. The man’s like a fireplace.” Dum Dum laughed. 

“Yeah well, Steve’s not here.” Bucky snapped back. His voice only cracked slightly. He was getting better at pushing the vision of Steve broken body out of his mind but it was never easy. 

“Hey now. No need for that tone. We all miss him and you know he’s getting the best care back at base. Plus with that magic blood of his you know he’ll be up and about in no time.” Dum Dum pulled Bucky’s branch out of his hands and tossed it into the woods behind them. 

Bucky couldn’t answer that. It hurt too much. His friends had so much faith in Steve, his Steve, and here was Bucky falling apart over the smallest mention of his name. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair. So he remained silent. The crackling of the fire the only sound. He could feel Dugan’s stare on the back of his neck but he never took his eyes away from the fire, mesmerised by the dancing flames. After a few moments he heard his friend sigh and the snapping of twigs on the ground indicated he had taken Bucky’s advice and decided to get some rest. 

Bucky was left alone with his thoughts in the dark forest in Europe, praying that someday soon he would see Steve’s gorgeous ocean blue eyes open once again.

* * *

 

“Sarge!” A voice snapped.

Bucky groaned into the hard ground underneath him. His cheek was stinging and he managed to hit himself in the face trying to brush away whatever was digging into his skin.

“Come on sleepy head. We gotta move out.” The voice barked again. 

“Steve?” It had to be Steve. Only Steve was this annoying so early in the morning and why did he have twigs on his face? Where was his bed roll? 

“Oh God. Jones. You try! He’s delusional.” A set of hands began to pull him to his feet. 

“It’s your fault for letting him take a double shift Dummy.” Gabe shouted back to his friend. “He’s gone and passed out with exhaustion.”

“Cap’s gonna whoop your ass when he wakes up Dummy.” A voice that Bucky recognised as Jimmy’s joined in. 

“Would you guys just shut up?” Bucky mumbled. His head hurt like a bitch and their bickering was not helping his mood. 

“Ah rise and shine Captain Grumpy.” Dugan cooed and ruffled his hair. 

“Get off you big lump. Pass me some sludge and we can move out.” He shoved Dum Dum’s arms from off around his shoulder and reached for the dark coffee pot that sat on the embers of the fire. 

“Coffee for our dear Captain!” Falsworth called cheerfully. 

“If you can called it that… “ Dernier replied in his thick accent. His English had been improving more and more each day. Although he still preferred to talk to Gabe in French if he was given the choice. Bucky thought that they secretly enjoyed making the rest of the Howlies paranoid by laughing and pointing at them intermittently in their conversations. 

“Coffee…now. That’s an order!” Bucky blinked the sleep out of his eyes and glared around at his team. Had they always been such shits? Bucky rolled his eyes at himself. Of course they had. That’s what family was.  

Soon enough Bucky had thrown the lukewarm brown sludge down his throat and the camp was packed up. It was time to go back to base. It was probably only another few hours of walking before they made it home. He pulled on Steve’s blue helmet and clutched at the tags that were resting on his chest. After their first mission with Bucky playing the role of their esteemed Captain, they had agreed to let him take Steve’s with the rest of the uniform. In the event that he ever got captured by the enemy they would have no reason to doubt they had captured the super solider instead of a fake. That was the official reason. In reality Bucky had begged Peggy to let him swap tags with Steve. The uniform wasn’t enough, he needed some kind of physical proof that Steve was gonna be ok. He needed that direct linked to the man who was his whole world. Bringing the cold metal up to his lips, they began to walk back to camp. 

“I’m coming Stevie…” Bucky whispered into the frozen air. 

The walk was hard and long but it was nothing they hadn’t faced before. Still, Bucky thought that Howard’s plane would have come in handy right about now. Unfortunately, Howard had been tied up in some other engagements and Colonel Phillips said their mission would be better off on foot. Bucky laughed at that. The Colonel never stopped thinking about money even when it meant saving lives. Bucky’s hair itched under the helmet and the shield felt heavy on his back as they trudged slowly back through the trees. Bucky walked alone at the front of the team, normally he would join in the laughs and jokes of his friends but not today. His head just wasn’t it in. Ever since the train Bucky felt a devastating emptiness in his chest, one that just couldn’t be ignored. The Howlies sometimes managed to distract him enough that he crack a smile. The missions had turned out to be a real life saver, you didn’t have time to grieve when you are dodging and ducking under the lethal blue blasts of Hydra agents. He was sure that without them he would still be glued to Steve’s side in the medical bay and logically he knew that would have sparked rumours about the two of them that were best avoided. If Steve’s best girl Peggy could function on a daily basis why couldn’t his friend do the same. 

The miles fell away under their feet. The constant beat of their boots hitting the cold damp ground ticked away like a metronome. Until finally the sun broke through the trees and Bucky looked up to see the green tents and benches from their home. Unlike the last time they had entered the camp, it was full of life. The whistle of old campfire songs, whilst men and women cleaned their boots and guns , sang in the breeze. The familiar smell of stew drifted through the air. It was no Brooklyn but it felt more like home than anything else had for weeks. He looked around at his men. They looked exhausted but relieved to be back home.

It was Dugan that spoke first, answering the question Bucky didn’t even need to ask. “We’re fine Cap. Go.” He smiled. 

Bucky nodded and all but ran towards to the medical tent praying to whatever God’s existed that Steve would be awake finally. He really really missed his boyfriend’s sunshine smile. He knocked passed a few soldiers that didn’t have time to move out of his way but there was no time to apologise. He barely even noticed Peggy talking to Angie by Colonel Phillips’ tent. He pushed the sheet out of the way and was greeted by a heavenly sight. 

“Steve…” He breathed as he pulled his helmet off. 

Steve was sat up in his cot sketching idly on the back of a poster. His fingers were blackened with charcoal. He looked tired but he was awake. Steve’s head snapped up and their eyes met from across the room. Bucky’s knees gave out as he fell next to Steve’s bed and his hands found Steve’s as their fingers intertwined. 

“Oh god Steve…” He sobbed into the blond’s chest as relief completely overwhelmed him. It was gonna be ok. Steve was going to be fine. “I missed you” He mumbled through the tears. 

“Hey Buck.” Steve’s voice was croaky but his smile lit up the entire room and honestly Bucky couldn’t remember anything being more beautiful in his life. 

“Don’t you ever to that to me again Rogers.” He chided as he brushed his fingers along Steve’s cheek. It was a miracle that the black and blue bruises had faded into non-existence. “I thought you were dead Steve. Can you even begin to understand how that felt?” 

“Yes.” Steve replied. His voice was quiet and broken. Bucky’s eyes snapped up to find Steve’s. 

“What?” He asked in disbelief. 

“I saw you fall.” Steve’s fingers covered Bucky’s where they had frozen holding the Blond’s cheek. “I saw you fall and my world ended”

“Stevie” Bucky breathed softly. God how could have been so stupid? Of course Steve knew. He pressed his lips against Steve’s. Steve melted into the kiss and they were finally together once more. “ Mm sorry Stevie.” Bucky whispered against his boyfriend’s lips.

“Me too. It was kind of reckless wasn’t it?” Steve laughed as his fingers stroked through Bucky’s hair. 

“Mhmm. You’ll be the death of me I swear.” Bucky huffed as he kissed Steve again. Steve kissed him back before pulling back and resting his forehead against Bucky’s. Bucky’s heart raced as his felt the soft warm air of Steve’s breath against his skin. He smiled and nuzzled his nose against Steve’s

“Till the end of the line.” Steve said in a hushed voice. His ardent adoration for his boyfriend was as clear as crystal in the small damp tent. Bucky gazed into Steve’s eyes, fondly counting the flecks of green and gold that speckled the blue. All he could see was the love this incredible man felt for him. Bucky’s heart swelled with pride and his own love for his idiot boyfriend. He may be damn reckless and stupid, but Steve was his.

“I love you too.” He kissed Steve’s forehead and closed his eyes, wondering how he ever got so damn lucky. “You know, this is just like old times.” Bucky said with a smirk. Steve scrunched his nose looked back at him in confusion.

“Old times?” He asked as he cocked his head. 

“Mhmm… You almost dying and sick in bed, me worrying like a mother hen and fussing over you.” Bucky bopped Steve’s nose. He couldn’t help it, the blond just looked too cute. 

“You worry too much.” Steve rolled his eyes and swatted Bucky’s hand away. 

“You don’t worry enough. I like looking after you. I thought - ” Bucky hesitated whilst he tried to find the words. “I thought you wouldn’t need me anymore you know. After all this” He waved his arms, gesturing at Steve’s body. 

“You thought” Steve stuttered in disbelief “Jesus Buck. You thought I needed you just because you helped patch me up after a fight?”

“And saved your ass a few times.” Bucky added quietly.

“God Buck. You know I thought you were supposed to be the smart one.” Steve took his hand and Bucky entwined their fingers. “You’re my best friend Buck. Even if you’d said no to us, I couldn’t imagine Steve Rogers without Bucky Barnes. I think I knew that from the moment you stepped foot in that alley”

“Yeah?” Bucky brought their entwined fingers up to his lips and kissed Steve’s knuckles. 

“Yeah it’s like that man said.” Steve smiled. “We’re soulmates.” 

Bucky’s heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest and he sprang forward to close the gap between them once more. The feeling of Steve’s lips against his would never get old. It wasn’t a deep kiss, there was no heat or passion bubbling under the surface, just love and relief and hope. 

“Hey Buck?” Steve asked playfully in between kisses. 

“Hmm?” Bucky murmured as his lips brushed against Steve’s cheekbone.

“You’re keeping the outfit right?” The blond winked and they both laughed. It was the first time either of them had truly felt this happy since they jumped off that cliffside all those weeks ago. Bucky supposed it was about time they caught a break. He rolled his eyes at his lover, instead of answering he pulled Steve into another kiss.

It was good to be home at last.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! I had a chapter plan... I like... half followed it? The characters just kept doing their own thing. You know how it is. Let me know what you think. If you wanna follow me on tumblr then it's Avengersbarnes for more stucky/MCU content :) 
> 
> See you next time!


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per previous chapters, there is a lot of dialogue in this that I have lifted from the film. This dialogue is not mine and I'm just borrowing it and interpreting it in my own way. This chapter in particular is very close to the film so apologies if there's not much new stuff here. It was necessary for plot purposes. Still, I like blasted through writing this chapter yesterday so if there are any errors let me know and I'll edit it. There's only so many times I can proof read before I go crazy :P I hope you enjoy it!

The forest flew past Steve in a blur. Even with his enhanced eyesight he struggled to keep tabs on where he was on the route. The motorbike hummed between his legs and the leaves crackled under the tires. Under his breath he sang an old folk tune that his ma used to sing to him. He wasn’t the best singer, lord knows Bucky told him that enough times, but the familiar tune was comforting to him. The rest of the Commandos were waiting on the cliffside opposite Schmidt’s office whilst Steve drove towards the front gate, alone. Bucky had tried to join him but Peggy decided that it was too risky for both of them to get caught. Especially when they were each other’s biggest weakness. Steve took a deep breath as he heard the growl of engines approach behind him. He kept his eyes forward on the path in front of him and continued towards the base. His shield felt heavy on his back, the weight of being Captain America was harder to lift than the vibranium disc. The familiar zap of Hydra weapons firing up made his heart thump in his chest as he tried to banish the flashbacks and nightmares that threatened to consume him. The shots bounced off the shield and Steve took the chance to look over his shoulder. He counted at least six Hydra agents following him with the devastating weapons mounted on the front of their bikes. The adrenaline was pumping through his veins, it was terrifying. It was addictive. He sent a quick prayer to heaven and to his Ma, begging them he would survive this. The stakes had never been higher and this was a long way away from beating up bullies in a back alley in Brooklyn. This time he just hoped he survived long enough for Bucky and the Howlies to drop in and save him because otherwise this really would be the end of the line.

He turned back to the dirt road in front of him and counted down in his end. He had to time every move perfectly otherwise this whole plan would fall apart. He flicked the switch on the keypad in front of him, thanking Erskine for his eidetic memory. Howard had only managed to show him what each switch did once before they ran out of time. It had been a rush to modify his bike in time for the mission, let alone debrief him on all the new features. The black cables shot out of the front of the bike and spikes dug into the bark of the nearby trees. Steve smiled in relief. It was successful. He heard two of the Hydra agents fall off their bikes. 

He counted another beat in his head before flicking the next switch as he felt the enemy motorbikes close in behind him. This was the weapon he’d been most excited about. There was a beauty in fire that Steve just never got used to. He could spend hours watching the campfire, the way the flames danced in the air and crackled on the wood. Sure it was devastating but it was warmth and passion and life. It was a contradiction, like a boy who grew up sickly being the picture of perfect health. The roar of flames shot out of the back of the bike. The heat was uncomfortably close and Steve could feel the vibranium shield glow on his back, as the warmth pricked against his skin. The motorbike was propelled forwards just like Howard said it would and Steve almost choked on the smell of burning flesh. Perhaps the fire had its downside after all. 

He turned to his left, if Bucky was correct then more Hydra agents should be approaching from the fork in the road right about….

Now.

As if like clockwork two more bikes pulled in front of him. Steve grinned and twisted the throttle of the bike. The sped growled under him and bucked forwards. He scanned the bikes in front of him for the weak point that Howard had told him about. Within a second he had located the pin and pulled. The bike span out of control and crashed causing an explosion behind him. Steve glanced behind him to confirm that was the last of the Hydra agents off his tail. When he turned back around he was greeted by a large Hydra tank guarding the entrance to the base. His stomach did a flip and he resisted the urge to turn the bike around. There was no going back now. He pulled the shield off his back and fixed it to the front of the bike. There was a satisfying snap as the shield locked into place and not a moment too soon as the tank began to fire up. Blue light filled the forest and rained hell around him. Trees were on fire and cracking to the floor, Steve could barely keep his eyes open as he peaked over the top of the shield. He managed to weave through the shots as the tank kept firing. He knew he had to get close enough for the rockets on his bike to break through the tank’s armour. This was a whole new level of reckless but soon enough he was within range and he flicked the switch. Rockets flew out the front of the bike and hit their target with deadly precision. The tank burst into flames and Steve hissed in pain as the bike drove past the explosion. He would definitely have a few third degrees burns after that particular stunt. He struggled to keep the control of the bike through the pain as he launched up the concrete ramp and landed in the Hydra base. 

Almost immediately Hydra agents swarmed around him. Deadly blue flashes lit up the whole camp and he ducked as one flew a little too close for comfort. He switched the bike’s controls to autopilot and sent it flying towards the second gate. It was a pity he would have to sacrifice such a beautiful piece of machinery but he supposed Stark could always make him a second one. He launched himself off of the bike, shield first into an agent who was scrambling towards a second tank. The bones crushed underneath the momentum and weight of his shield. He pulled himself to his feet and started to make his way slowly towards the gate as the bike crashed through the door in a mighty explosion. He had a pistol attached to his belt but he felt more at home smashing his fists and shield at the agents who got too close. Their shots bounced off his shield, some rebounding and disintegrating the agents who fired them. When he got the chance he would throw the shield with all the strength he had and watch it bounce off the tanks, and knock out the agents that weren’t paying attention before jumping up to catch it. He wasn’t sure when his brain had started to be able to make such exact calculations with the shield, he assumed it was a mix of the serum and having a sniper for his best friend. Bucky would probably yell at him for letting the his best form of defence go just so he could show off a little bit. The number of agents that surrounded him were starting thin and Steve was beginning to think he had gone too hard. The whole point of their plan was that he needed to get captured. They were going to drag him right into the heart of the base where no doubt Red Skull would want to gloat about Steve’s failure. He snatched his shield from the air and fixed it to his arm just as two Hydra agents with burning hot flame throwers approached him. Apparently he had thought too soon. He paused as he tried to work out if he could escape this but just as he was formulating a plan a new wave of agents suddenly surrounded him.

Well if he had to give himself up he guess now would be a good time to do so. He took a deep breath and stopped fighting. Two of the agents grabbed him roughly and pulled his arms behind his back whilst a third agent ripped his shield from his hand. Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He could snap his captures’ wrists and breakout of their hold without breaking a sweat but they didn’t need to know that. He pretended to struggle in their grip as they dragged him through the Hydra base. The idiots didn’t suspect a thing. 

“Arrogance may not be a uniquely American trait, but I must say you do it better than anyone.” Schmidt’s voice came from the darkness as he stepped out of the shadows. He no longer wore his face mask, Steve noted, favouring to embrace his new look. Steve suppressed a shudder at the thought that it could have so easily been him in Schmidt’s place. He wondered why Erskine had failed to tell him about that particular trait when they discussed the failure of his previous experiments. Schmidt stopped in front of him and Steve narrowed his eyes as he glared at the disgusting man in front of him.  “But there are limits to what even you can do, Captain, or did Erskine tell you otherwise?” 

“He told me you were insane.” Steve spat out angrily. This was exactly the kind of man Steve hated. He was a bully, an entitled son of a bitch who got off on stamping on the little guy. This was the reason he had signed up for project rebirth, the reason he had stormed a Hydra base looking for Erskine before they got the serum from him. It was the reason they had gone after Dr. Zola on the train. Steve was suddenly struck by a feeling that this might be the last mission for him. He was created to stop the Nazis and if he could do so, was there much point in keeping him around? The universe would probably find a way to dispose of him. Then again, Heimdall had said the universe depended on him staying with Bucky, whatever it takes. 

“Ah.” Schmidt sighed. He actually looked… disappointed? Or offended. Steve couldn’t decide which, it was strange to see any form of vulnerability on German. “He resented my genius and tried to deny me what was rightfully mine but he gave you everything.” The Red Skull paused but Steve remained silent. The longer he could keep Schmidt talking the better. It was give Bucky and the rest of them more time to get ready for their next attack. It would give the Colonel, Peggy and the troops more time to storm the base. He just had to keep him talking. It sent a chill down his spine though, listening to the madness in the German’s voice. It was obvious he believed in his ideals as strongly as Steve did. Only Steve’s morals didn’t lend themselves so easily to genocide. “So, what made you so special?” Schmidt asked him bitterly.

Steve laughed. It couldn’t help it. For so many years not one person, other than Bucky and later on Peggy and Erskine, had even looked in his direction. He was frail. He was weak. He couldn’t breathe right. His heart didn’t beat right. He couldn’t even see the colours properly like everyone else. In fact there was literally nothing on paper that would mean he was anywhere close to special. He was a mess.

“Nothing.” He admitted with a smirk. The Red Skull’s eyes flashed with anger at his response. He supposed that Schmidt was expecting a different answer, like he’d been the best soldier in camp or that he’d come from the richest family in New York. “I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.” He added to really add salt to the wound.

 A kid from Brooklyn was the truth. That’s all he had ever been, it’s all he was now if you really looked at him, an oversized kid from Brooklyn. It was the wrong answer though and Red Skull’s fist smashed into face. He heard his cheekbone crack and the taste of blood at the back of his throat. He barely had time to stop his head from spinning as another blow hit him. Pain seared across his face and he blinked away the tears. He’d forgotten what it was like to beaten up by someone so much stronger than him. He was instantly transported to the streets of Brooklyn where he had to use a trashcan lid as a shield. A third strike to the stomach brought him to his knees. The air was forced out of him and he heard the snap of ribs and a blinding pain in his chest. He choked out a breath as he crashed to the floor. He winced as he tried to take another breath and stared up at Schmidt. 

“I can do this all day.” He smiled up at his foe. It was a line he’d used over and over against men twice his size, against men who would happily beat him to a pulp. His Ma had taught him that once you start running they never let you stop so he never let them see how much they hurt him. It was infuriating to those who stood against him and to Bucky who desperately tried to protect him. 

“Oh, of course you can. Of course but unfortunately,” Schmidt reached for a pistol that was in his holster and aimed the weapon at Steve’s head,  “I am on a tight schedule.” The pistol whirred to life and glowed blue. 

Steve didn’t blink. He trusted his unit to have his back. It was now or never.

“So am I.” He smirked at his enemy for good luck before yanking the nearby Hydra agent to use as a shield.

* * *

The mountain top was bitter and cold. Bucky could barely sit still as they waited for their moment to attack. With his enhanced hearing he could listen into whatever conversation Steve would have with Schmidt. It was imperative that they didn’t jump too soon or too late. If they timed it wrong Steve would get his head blown off and Bucky felt sick at the thought. He froze as he saw two lackeys drag Steve into the office where Red Skull was waiting. He’d been gazing out at the mountain but Bucky and his team had stayed low and out of sight. Bucky sat on his hands to prevent himself from jumping into action the moment Steve came into view. Dum Dum patted him on the shoulder in sympathy. Bucky murmured what the two men were saying under his breath so that the rest of the Howlies could be kept in the loop. Schmidt accused Steve of being arrogant which made Bucky laugh. Reckless and stupid yes, but never arrogant. The fact the Skull was completely underestimating his boyfriend’s intelligence was a good sign. Most of their enemies saw Steve as a giant blob of muscle with no brain between his ears. They didn’t know that Steve had been outsmarting enemies twice his size for years. He knew exactly how to play an enemy and when to throw his weight around. Only now he actually had the body to back up his brain. Yes he was reckless and stupid but only Bucky was allowed to call him that. 

Bucky almost lost it when Schmidt hit Steve and his boyfriend fell to the floor. It was only the fact that Monty and Dum Dum were holding him back that stopped him from launching across the canyon immediately, new found phobia of heights be damned. Steve coughed and spluttered as he tried to regain control of his breath and Bucky’s heart was racing in his chest. That cough was all too familiar. The cough of an ice cold winter settling in Steve’s chest. The cough of pneumonia that threatened to take Steve’s life from him, leaving Bucky alone in the small damp apartment. 

“Stevie…” He whimpered as he pulled against Dum Dum’s arms.

“Get it together Sarge.” Dum Dum hissed in his ear before throwing him to the ground. The snow in his face was a cold reminder of their mission. 

“I can do this all day.” Steve said in a deadly voice that had Bucky’s heart pounding in his chest. 

“Now?” Morita asked as they watched the scene. Bucky did a quick calculation in his head. How long would it take for them to fly across the gap and smash through the window? 

“Not… quite” He breathed as he stared intently at Steve. 

“I’m on a tight schedule.” The skull pulled a pistol and took aim. 

“Now!!” Bucky yelled at the Commandos jumped into action. 

“So am I.” He heard Steve reply as the sound of their grappling hooks hitting the rocks echoed in the chasm below. 

Bucky heard the sound of a weapon firing and his heart stopped. “No!!” He yelled as they smashed through the window. Bucky shielded his eyes with his arm and flinched as shards of glass dug into the sleeve of his navy blue coat and pierced his skin. He landed easily on his feet and his eyes snapped up, searching the room for his boyfriend. Steve grinned at him and gave him a quick salute and Bucky sighed in relief. It looked like Steve had managed to block Schmidt’s attack. He pulled his rifle off of his back and rained fire on the remaining Hydra agents in the room with the Commandos by his side. It felt good. It felt powerful. This was his family and they were unstoppable. Schmidt made his escape and Steve let out a scream in frustration. Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he realised that Steve’s shield was not in its place on his boyfriend’s arm. Luckily Falsworth seemed to have the same idea as the Englishman made a dive for the floor and picked up the shiny vibranium plate. 

“Rogers! You might need this!” He yelled to get Steve’s attention fast as he flung the shield towards its rightful owner. Steve span round, grabbed the shield out the air and attached it to his arm in one movement that had Bucky feeling a little weak at the knees. If they both survived this he was gonna make sure they didn’t have to leave their tent for week. 

“Thanks!” Steve grinned before running off after Schmidt. Bucky’s gun clicked as he ran out of bullets. He swore and grabbed a Hydra weapon from a nearby body. It wasn’t what he was used to but it would have to do. He heard the rest of his team run after them at a slower pace as he caught up to Steve. The sound of Hydra’s footsteps thundering through the halls echoed all around them. It sounded like the drums calling them to their death and here was Steve acting like he was having the time of his fucking life. 

“We’re in! Assault team, go!” He heard Jimmy call into his comms device as he ran. 

They made their way through a maze of tunnels trying to catch up the Red Skull. That haunting blue light of Hydra was making every corridor glow with death but Bucky didn’t have time to think. He kept shooting down the Agents that got too close to Steve who wasn’t even trying to defend himself. God they were gonna have words about that once they got out of here. 

The Skull suddenly turned around and fired his own blue cannon at Steve who blocked the shot with his shield and Bucky hid behind Steve’s body. 

“You doing ok Buck?” Steve hissed as the impact of the shot sent them back slightly. 

“Could be worse.” He shot back as he rolled his eyes. “Now let’s finish this.” 

Schmidt was too far ahead of them. Even as they ran they weren’t going to catch up before he got through the doors. “Damn it.” Steve hissed and threw his shield after the German. Skull snuck through but the door was jammed behind him. They still a chance. They just had to run. 

Of course it was never that easy. They went to turn the corner and ran straight into a monster with burning hot flame throwers.

“Shit!” Bucky cursed and pulled them both to cover. In any other circumstance Bucky would have really appreciated the weight of Steve’s hot and sweaty body pressed up against him but unfortunately now was not the time to enjoy such luxuries. The heat of the flame glowed against their skin. The warm orange glow reflected off the sweat on Steve’s skin and Bucky thought his boyfriend looked like sin. 

“I love you.” Steve smiled down at him. His eyes were sparkling with adrenaline and the light of fire. 

“Oh no you don’t.” Bucky reached up and gave him a quick kiss. “No goodbyes. This is not the end of the line.” 

Steve stroked a gloved hand against his cheek and Bucky couldn’t help but lean into the touch. The sound of gunfire snapped them out of the moment. They both peered around the corner to see Peggy Carter looking like a damn angel with a machine gun. Bucky sighed with relief as Steve ran towards her. They were saved again. 

“You’re late.” Steve smiled down at their friend. Peggy swatted him in the chest and rolled her eyes. 

“Steve!” Bucky yelled over the sound of war. “We gotta get going Buddy.” 

Steve kissed Peggy on the cheek and turned back to face him. Together they grabbed the shield from the thick metal doors and ran through into what appeared to be a landing strip. A giant, high tech, plane was moving along the tarmac. The machinery was incredible, something beyond what even Howard could come up with. Bucky theorised that whatever was powering the Hydra weapons was seriously boosting the technology the German’s had. It was a wonder that they hadn’t won the war years ago with the advantage that they had. Hydra agents were everywhere and the plane was starting to gain speed. Even with the Serum there was no way they could get through this but apparently Steve hadn’t got that memo. Steve was charging ahead, battering the agents out of his way as he sprinted after the plane. Bucky was seriously starting to question his choice in best friend but he did as he always did, and followed Steve. He let out a roar and fired upon the agents that were swarming down on Captain America.

But it was too late. The plane was too fast even for them. Steve stumbled to a halt and Bucky almost crashed straight into him. Steve was breathing fast as he stared after the plane. 

“Damn it.” He hissed. 

The roar of a car engine came from behind them. To Bucky’s surprise Colonel Phillips was behind the wheel. Peggy gave him a smile from the back of the car.

“Get in!” Phillips yelled and the two soldiers jumped inside the very expensive looking car. Bucky was glad to have a moment to catch his breath. Even with the knock off serum in his veins, his legs were burning and his chest felt tight, even a super soldier had his limits. 

“I’m going to kiss him.” Peggy whispered under her breath into his ear. Bucky turned to look her in surprise. What on earth did that mean? That was a line they never crossed even for the damn cover story. 

“What?” He hissed back as Phillips pressed some button and the car surged forwards. Bucky’s stomach flipped and his head snapped back against the back of the car.

“It’s what they’ll expect.” Peggy mumbled so only him and Steve could hear. They were almost under the plane and Steve got to his feet. He looked between the two brunettes and the plane in front of him in a panic. Bucky pulled himself to his feet, struggling to keep his balance in the moving car. He nodded at Steve and patted him on the shoulder, hoping that Steve would understand. Bucky was giving him permission to do what he needed to do. They might die today but if they were lucky enough to survive they couldn’t start getting reckless and blowing their cover. Bucky made his way to the front of the car. He almost lost his footing as he balanced on the bonnet but he managed to hold on.

“Wait!” He heard Peggy call over the sound of the engine roaring in his ears. Bucky closed his eyes as he pulled himself up into the plane. He really didn’t want to think about Peggy and Steve kissing, no matter how much it was necessary. “Go get him!” 

Bucky glanced back and saw that Steve had the decency to look sheepish as he looked at Bucky in surprise. 

“I’m not kissing you!” Bucky laughed. Well not now at least but Phillips didn’t need to know that. “Now come on Cap.” 

He flung himself down so he was lying flat on the bonnet as the car sped under the propellors of the plane. There was a  sickening clang of the blades against the red, white and blue metal of Steve’s shield as he barely managed to avoid his death for the countless time that day. Once they were clear of the blades they leaped, together, towards the wheels of the plane. They jumped without a second to spare as the edge of the mountainside came flying into view and Bucky heard the screech of brakes from the car below. 

Bucky clung onto the wheels of the plane tightly. The cold wind was battering his body and he could keep his eyes open. He squinted at Steve who had his arms wrapped around the other wheel. He seemed to be ok which was what mattered. They were still together after everything Hydra had thrown at them. It was going to be ok. Soon enough the wheels began to rise back into the body of the plane. The room seemed dark compared the bright light that had reflected off the snowy mountains outside. Bucky let go and fell to the floor with a thud. 

“Bucky?” Steve asked, his voice was hoarse and he sounded exhausted. 

“Yeah. I’m fine Stevie.” Bucky replied as he stood up wearily. He looked around the plane in horror. There were bombs everywhere. Every missile had the name of a different American city. Chicago, New York, Boston. It would mean chaos for hundreds of thousands of innocent people. They had to stop this maniac before they had a chance to launch. “Jesus…” He breathed. 

“We can still stop it.” Steve, ever optimistic said as Hydra agents started running down from the main body of the plane. “Shit!” 

Bucky sighed. They just could not catch a break today. “Together?” He asked as he pulled a knife out of its holster, the only weapon he had left.

“Together.” Steve agreed as he pulled his shield from his back.

They made quick work of the agents of tried to launch the missiles. It was bloody work as Bucky stabbed his dagger into the throat of Mr Chicago and Steve managed to kick Mr Boston into the deadly blades of the missile he had tried to launch. Bucky winced as blood splattered the dark metal of the plane. That was a sight he was not likely to forget in a while. Steve panted as he tried to catch his breath. The agents were taken care of but they still had to finish their mission. Bucky picked up the shield which Steve had managed to drop in the heat of the battle. 

“You really should keep hold of this.” Bucky teased the blond. 

“Jerk.” Steve laughed. 

“Punk.” Bucky shot back and pulled Steve into a heated kiss. It wasn’t over but god damnit he deserved a kiss at the very least. 

“Bucky…” Steve groaned as his fingers tugged of the strands of Bucky’s hair. “Don’t start something we can’t finish.”

“Oh I intend to finish it.” Bucky nibbled at Steve’s ear. “Just as soon as we’re done here. Come on!” He grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him through the plane towards the cockpit where the Skull would surely be. 

“I hate you…” Steve muttered as he let himself be dragged through the ship. Bucky just winked at his boyfriend. 

“I know.” Bucky pulled Steve’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “I love you too.” 

Steve blushed underneath his helmet which never failed to make Bucky’s pulse race. He wondered if he would ever stop getting butterflies in his stomach when Steve looked at him with such adoration. He hoped he wouldn’t. They walked in a careful silence the rest of the way to the cockpit. If they had enhanced hearing then it made sense that Red Skull did too so it would not be easy to sneak up on him. 

Steve pushed the door open as silently as possibly and raised his shield. Bucky flipped the knife in his hand for good measure. He was really regretting not stealing another Hydra weapon on one of the agents they had killed. He was really gonna try and attack Red Skull, head of Hydra, with a knife. He was so dead. The room could be called almost beautiful, if they weren’t going up against their certain death. The window looking out onto the ocean below them filled the cockpit with a beautiful frosty blue glow. The room was quiet, too quiet. Bucky scowled as he scanned the room. The only sound was their footsteps on the metal floor. Steve started moving one side of the pilots chair and Bucky took the other side but to their surprise it was empty. Bucky looked up at Steve in panic.

“You don’t give up, do you?” Schmidt’s heavily German accent called out from behind them. Bucky spun round.

“Fuck.” He hissed under his breath.

“Nope!” Steve grinned as he popped the ‘p’. Bucky groaned internally. Why couldn’t they have just stayed in Brooklyn? 

Schmidt had a large glowing cannon aimed at them. For the first time in his life, Bucky really hoped that the enemy would take a shot at Steve rather than him. Bucky was shockingly completely unprepared for a fight. At least Stevie has the shield to protect him. The cannon whirred to life and Bucky jumped for cover behind the pilots seat. Luckily the Red Skull couldn’t resist taking a shot at Erskine’s biggest success. Bucky looked around for anything that could help him, but it looked like he really was going to fight with a knife. Meanwhile Steve was getting his ass kicked but a Nazi super soldier. Bucky peered round the chair and saw that Steve had managed to disarm Schmidt. The cannon had been kicked across the floor. Bucky took a deep breath and decided that it was time to take a page out of Steve’s book. He jumped towards Schmidt and landed on his back. His arms wrapped tightly around the German’s neck and he desperately tried to pull him away from Steve. 

The Red Skull yelled and threw Bucky off his shoulders. Bucky flew across the room and smashed his head against the wall. The world started to spin. He reached up to feel the damage and felt sick as he felt the warm moisture pooling in his hair. He looked at his fingers and sure enough they were covered in his blood.

“Steve…” He croaked as his vision started to fade to black.

“No!” He heard Steve shout as he passed out.

* * *

The fight against Schmidt was brutal. Steve was highly aware that he only had a short time scale to stop Skull’s plane and land it safely. Bucky had managed to distract Red Skull enough that Steve was able to get a few good hits in but he just wouldn’t stay down. The mad man yelled and throw Bucky across the room with an almighty crash. Steve saw red and smashed his shield into Schmidt’s face. 

“Steve…” Bucky’s voice snapped him out of his rage. It was weak and quiet, too quiet. Steve’s eyes found Bucky’s. There was so much fear screaming out in his piercing eyes. Steve glanced down and saw the blood on Bucky’s hands. 

“No!” Steve screamed. Not now, he couldn’t lose Bucky now. They had been through too much to get here. He scrambled towards his boyfriend but it was too late. Bucky’s body hit the floor. Schmidt took full advantage of Steve’s distraction and grabbed his pistol from his holster. Steve was barely able to raise his shield in time to deflect the shot. The impact of the shot sent the shield flying away from him.

“You could have the power of the gods!” Red Skull cried venomously as he fired shot after shot at Steve who danced across the beams of the ship trying to dodge the attacks.  “Yet you wear a flag on your chest and think you fight a battle of nations!” Steve ducked behind a pillar. He glanced over at Bucky’s still body. His heart ached and he wanted nothing more than to let Schmidt hit him but he had a mission to finish and he still wasn’t sure whether Bucky was still breathing or not. “I have seen the future, Captain! There are no flags!” Schmidt continued. Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Did the man ever shut up?

“Not my future!” Steve called back and threw himself across the floor. He dived and rolled as he landed, smoothly picking up his shield. He took aim and did what he did best, threw his shield with all his strength. The disc hit its target and Red Skull flew backwards smashing into the glowing blue stand which held the power source for the ship.

The cockpit was sudden glowing with the familiar blue energy in its rawest form. Steve could feel the static in the air and his ears were ringing. Bucky groaned from the corner and Steve’s heart leapt. Bucky was alive. It was the best news Steve had had all day. He glanced over at the pale form of his boyfriend just to make sure he hadn’t misheard. Bucky’s hair was almost floating around his face from all the energy in the air. He looked like an angel. 

“What have you done?” Schmidt struggled to his feet and grabbed the glowing blue cube of energy from its stand. “No…” He hissed under his breath as he stared at the cube. 

Steve wasn’t sure what to do. There was no telling how the energy cube would react to Schmidt holding it and he was in very real danger of Schmidt becoming even more powerful. If he managed to absorb the energy from the cube then they were doomed. Steve took the Schmidt’s distraction as a chance to catch his breath. His muscles were screaming at him to stop fighting, his ribs no longer ached with every breath but his chest still felt tight. He moved slowly towards were Bucky was lying on the floor. 

“Stevie…” His boyfriend mumbled. The word was slurred and weighted with sleep but he was alive.

“Shh.. Buck. I’m here.” He touched Bucky’s hair gently with his finger tips.

“It’s over?” Bucky slurred.

“Not yet.” Steve replied as the energy began to crackled and fizz in Red Skull’s hand. Bucky struggled to sit up to get a better look at their enemy. 

“Holy cow…” He murmured as they took in the sight in front of them. 

The energy cube appeared to have opened some kind of portal in the plane. Where there had previously been a metal ceiling above their heads, now stood a beautiful vision of the night sky. Steve had never seen the stars so  brightly. He wasn’t even sure whether they were the same stars, it could have been a whole different universe. It was beautiful. It was terrifying. Schmidt didn’t even seem to realise his hand had began to glow, almost fading out of existence not until he suddenly began to scream in agony. The cockpit was ablaze with blue energy and Steve had to shield his eyes from the bright light. Bucky turned his face towards Steve to shield his own eyes. A ball of energy engulfed the Red Skull and a beam of light shot up into the sky. Just like that the battle was over and the Red Skull was no more. The cube burned through the bottom of the plane before Steve could catch it and return it to its stand. Although that was probably just as well. The world didn’t need any more of the destruction that the cube seemed to cause.

Now they just had to work out how to stop the plane before it crashed into New York. Steve placed a quick kiss on Bucky’s hair before scrambling towards the console. He pulled off his helmet as he looked at the controls in a panic. He could fly a plane, Howard had shown him how but this was unlike anything he’d ever seen before. He pushed a few familiar buttons but nothing seemed to be responding. The energy explosion had fried the circuits. He couldn’t change the course that the skull had set. The only control that seemed to be responding was the height of the plane. He managed to make it dive a few feet before steadying the plane. 

“Steve?” Bucky asked as he limped up behind him.

“I don’t think we’re making it out of this alive Buck.” Steve admitted. They had to crash the plane. There would be no safe landing spot, not with all the bombs that were still on board. They could turn New York to ashes. Bucky shook his head and started pushing buttons on the console. The radio crackled to life and Bucky frantically tried to get the radio on the right channel. 

“Come in! This is Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers. Does anyone copy?” Bucky yelled into the radio as Steve struggled to keep the plane steady.

“Barnes, Captain Rogers, what is your…” Morita’s voice crackled over the speaker. Steve sighed. It must be serious if even Jimmy was using his rank correctly.

“Steve, is that you? Are you alright?” Peggy had taken control of the radio. Steve looked over at Bucky and grabbed his hand. Bucky squeezed back and placed a kiss on his temple. God he was so happy that the brunet was with him right now. He wasn’t sure he could do this without him. 

“Peggy! Schmidt’s dead.” Steve stated. He wouldn’t allow his voice to crack. They needed him to be strong now. They needed the information and if they were lucky then they might be able to find their bodies. 

“What about the plane?” Peggy asked frantically.

“That’s a little bit tougher to explain.” Bucky responded sombrely. 

“Give me your coordinates, I’ll find you a safe landing site.” Steve closed his eyes as he heard Peggy’s voice across the radio. She was obviously crying and it was heartbreaking. This would be the second time she had to mourn him and Bucky. Life had not been kind to them.

“There’s not going to be a safe landing.” Bucky admitted. Steve glanced up at his boyfriend, there were tears in his eyes. God he how he wished this could end another way.

 “But I can try and force it down.” Steve added. It was the only way. He glanced at the panel where their coordinates should be. It was blank, killed from the energy blast. They had no hope of rescue.

“I’ll get Howard on the line, he’ll know what to do.” Peggy cried. Her voice was desperate but still so strong. Steve regretted that she would get hurt by this. She deserved better. He was lucky that Angie would be there for her when he wasn’t.

“There’s not enough time. This thing’s moving too fast and it’s heading for New York.” Steve out into the clouds in front of them. They were flying by at an alarming rate. New York was getting closer by the second. “I gotta put her in the water.” Bucky let out a long breath next to him and buried his face into Steve’s hair. 

“Please, don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out.” Peggy begged him. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. He couldn’t keep this up it was breaking his heart. 

“Right now we’re in the middle of nowhere. If we wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die.” Bucky put his hands over Steve’s on the steering stick. 

“Sergeant Barnes…” Peggy started to say but Steve interrupted her.

“Peggy, this is our choice.” Steve felt his throat close up. “Good bye Peggy.” He switched off the radio. It was a cruel thing to do but he needed these last few moments with the man he loved away from the prying ears of the army.

“Steve…” Bucky’s voice was shaking and he looked like a ghost but even now Steve couldn’t think anything more beautiful than Bucky Barnes. 

“It’s the end of the line Buck.” Steve said softly. Bucky let out a sob and pressed his lips against Steve’s. It wasn’t a deep kiss, it was a goodbye. The last touch between lovers, between soulmates. 

“Now?” Bucky asked as he fingers pressed against Steve’s. 

“Now.” Steve nodded and together they pushed the control forward and the plane dived forward. Bucky gripped onto Steve’s hand as gravity suddenly seemed to vanish.

 The ice came flying towards them and Steve didn’t even have time to close his eyes before his whole world went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! There's like no Heimdall in this chapter. Just imagine he's helping Peggy and Phillips charge the base. He got both the boys to the plane so that's the main thing. Kudos and comments are always appreciated :) (Also this is so nearly complete and I'm so excited!)


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finished!!!!!!! I literally cannot believe it. I never thought I'd make it. Pesky Commandos making every chapter longer than intended and random one-shots set in the universe to distract me from the main story line. Anyway... this chapter is like super short (Sorry!!) but it's an epilogue and we're wrapping up here. I hope you like it. :D

Bucky gasped for air as he was shocked back to consciousness. He was soaked in ice cold water and surrounded by white coats. He blinked and took in his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was Steve crashing the Valkyrie.

“Steve!” His voice was hoarse and his throat hurt but he didn’t care. He rushed to his feet but stumbled almost immediately as his knees gave out. There was a strange tugging sensation in his arm and his eyes darted down to see and needle in his wrist. His heart started to race in a panic, why was it always needles when he woke up in strange rooms surrounded by scientists? He pulled at the wire attached to the needle and winced as blood pooled around the tiny wound. He pushed past the white coats towards the door, only focused on finding Steve. 

He had to find Steve.

His body betrayed him as he fell again and slipped on the puddles of ice cold water on the floor. He grunted at the impact and took a deep breath.

What the hell was wrong with him?

“The Captain is ok, Sergeant Barnes.” A man said calmly. Bucky focused his attention on the man. He had a long coat and eyepatch. He seemed like the kind of man who knew too much and shared too little. The man extended his hand and Bucky took it cautiously. He was pulled to his feet and helped backed to the bed in the centre of the room. He hated the way his legs shook with every step but he refused to let them see how much it bothered him. “He’s taking a little longer to thaw but his vitals are strong.”

“How…?” He started to say as he looked around the room properly for the first time since he opened his eyes.  His original question faded away. The tech in the lab was incredible. There was a huge television set imbedded in the wall. It was flat and crystal clear, a far cry from the boxes he had seen during the war. Even Howard’s technology was never this good. “What is this place?” He asked in awe as a new thought struck him. “or… when is this place?” 

The man laughed and gestured for Bucky to follow him. Bucky was reluctant to follow him. He really wasn’t sure that he trusted this man but there was always the hope that he would find Steve if he played along. He couldn’t afford to fight until the serum had started to heal his body, if it still worked at all. He was led through to another lab. Bucky rested heavily on the man’s arm, his legs felt like jelly and his head hurt like a bitch. 

Bucky inhaled sharply as they walked, or maybe hobbled is a more accurate description on Bucky’s part, through the doors into the second lab. Steve was lying on the table, his lips were blue and ice was still melting around his shoulders. Bucky held back a whine as he saw Steve looking so still and deathly cold on the bed. Is that what he had looked like before he’d opened his eyes? He remembered there had been a lot of water surrounding him on the floor and his clothes were still damp. He yearned to reach out and brush his fingers through Steve’s sopping wet blond hair but he didn’t know these people and they’d managed to survive the war apparently so now was not the time to get reckless. 

“It’s 2012. You’ve been asleep for almost 70 years.” Bucky heard him say. He was too busy staring at his Captain still frozen in the ice. There were heat blasters surrounding him and he was hooked up to all sorts of machinery. Stark would have a heart attack if he saw this. 

Wait.

70 years….

_Fuck!_

“Huh.” Bucky heard himself say. “Figures.”  

This was fine. 

He was fine. 

“Sergeant Barnes?” The man asked. He was clearly judging Bucky and assessing his reactions. What was this? Some kind of test run for when Steve woke up?

“Why me?” Bucky blurted out. 

“Excuse me?” The man seemed confused by the question but Bucky was sure his theory was right. He _was_ a test run. These people had no idea what effect the ice would have on their bodies or whether their minds would still be functional after so long, _70 years,_ in the ice. 

Now, Bucky would say he was a good guy. Sure he wasn’t Steve, he wasn’t Erskine’s shining example of a moral compass but he was alright. He tolerated a lot of shit in his life, more than Steve but people treating Steve like a weapon, like nothing more than a puppet really made his blood boil. He narrowed his eyes and stared the one-eyed man down. 

“Why. Me?” He hissed. “Cos the way I see it, Cap should have woken first.”

“He has a larger body mass Sergeant Barnes.” The man started to explain but Bucky cut him off. He did not have time for his bullshit. 

“He also runs hotter than the rest of us and heals faster than all of us but I have a feeling that you already knew that.” Bucky appraised the man’s reaction. He was good, barely even flinched at the accusation. “The heaters in my room were already turned off when I woke up. So you defrosted me first. Am I right so far?” Bucky raised his eyebrow. 

Still no answer. 

“So you defrost me first. Now I gotta know why? Steve’s more important to you government types so surely you would need your precious Captain America back over little old me. The answer is because you have no idea what’s going on in that brain of his. You have no idea whether he will even wake up or whether it is safe to try.” Bucky felt the strength return to his muscles as his serum started to do it’s work. He moved slowly towards the man. Bucky was shorter but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be intimidating. He’d killed more men in the army than most people would believe possible. 

“Go on.” The man said without blinking an eye. 

“So you wake up the sidekick. If I die or go crazy then you have another shot at getting it right with America’s sweetheart. If you get it right then there’s two miracles and everyone cheers for the Government or whoever you people are.” 

The man just smirked at him and Bucky saw red. He grabbed the man by his collar and pushed him backwards. 

“Who the fuck are you people and what do you want with Captain America?” Bucky snarled at the stranger. The white coats all drew their weapons that were hidden under the lab coats and Bucky was surrounded. He hissed in frustration and pushed the man away with more strength than necessary.

“At ease soldier.” The man chuckled as he stumbled backward. “You’re stronger than you look.”

“Yeah. You didn’t read that in my file?” Bucky raised his eyebrow. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Nick Fury. I represent an organisation called Shield.” The man said. 

“Shield? That’s one hell of a coincidence.” Bucky huffed.

“Strategic, Homeland, Intervention, Enforcement, Logistics, Division.” Fury counted on his fingers with a smirk. “The founder was determined that it spelled Shield, any guesses why?

“Steve.” Bucky replied without hesitating. “Captain America.” He added. It was probably more accurate. No one else seemed to care about the man behind the shield. 

“Bingo. Director Carter just wouldn’t budge on the name if the stories are to be believed.” Nick chuckled.

“Peggy? This is all her?” Bucky stared wide eyed. Wow, his friend had really done well for herself. “Atta girl, Pegs” He smiled proudly. 

“So you see, we don’t mean you or the Captain any harm, Sergeant Barnes.” Nick patted him on the shoulder. 

“I’ll reserve judgement for now. If that’s alright by you.” Bucky took a step back from Fury, a step closer to Steve. He glanced over at his frozen boyfriend. The water was dripping off the edge of the bed faster now and the blue tinge in his lips had faded back to the soft rosy pink that Bucky knew. “Can we have a moment?”

“Of course, Sergeant, but in case you’re wondering. I have some of my best agents on the other side of that door.” Nick turned to leave with a dramatic swish of his long coat.

“Great.” Bucky mumbled. 

He decided to ignore the fact that they were essentially prisoners of Shield and shuffled closer to Steve as the last of the white coats left the lab. As soon as they were gone he sank to the floor and grasped Steve’s hand like it was a lifeline.

“You gotta stop doing this to me Stevie…” He whimpered. It never got easier seeing the blond on the brink of death.

“They gone?” Steve’s voice sounded like heaven to Bucky. It was rough and a little shaky around the edges but to Bucky it was a choir of angels.

“You bastard!” Bucky cried as he hugged his lover’s chest “How long you been listening?”

“Director Carter eh?” Steve croaked. “What’s going on Buck?”

Bucky sighed. How was he supposed to explain to Steve that they were suddenly living almost 70 years into the future? He could barely rationalise the thought himself. Peggy had founded an entire Government agency in that time. Hell was she even alive?

“I don’t know doll.” Bucky answered truthfully. He brushed a strand of blond hair from Steve’s eyes and kissed his forehead. “But we’re not in Kansas anymore Toto.”

Steve laughed at him and pulled him down for a kiss. Bucky smiled against Steve’s lips, they were still freezing cold but it didn’t matter. They were alive. They had made it. “We’ll figure it out.” Steve mumbled against his lips. 

Bucky just hummed in agreement and nuzzled Steve’s neck. Heimdall had told them that they had to stay together otherwise they would be separated for a lifetime and here they were, a lifetime later, and still together. They had done it. They won. Now they had all the time in the world to figure out this future business and they could do it together. 

“I love you.” Bucky sighed happily into Steve’s chest.

“Til the end of the line.” Steve replied and his fingers weaved into Bucky’s hair. 

“Til the end of the line.” Bucky agreed.

* * *

Heimdall blinked as the now familiar white realm surrounded him. It was blindingly bright as always. A glowing warmth bloomed in his chest. He had succeeded. Barnes and Rogers were both safely in the 21st Century without any of Hydra’s meddling. If Time was to be believed then he had successfully corrected the first mistake. They were one step closer to defeating Thanos and hopefully to saving Asgard. 

“You did well little one.” A serpent-like dragon swirled round him as they shimmered into view. The realm was filled with colour and beauty. Heimdall smiled fondly at the creature as it’s scales brushed past his cheek. The raw power of the creature was radiating into the surrounding light but he could feel their joy, their playful happiness. 

“Thank you.” He bowed respectfully. 

The Asgardians may be hailed as Gods on Earth but Heimdall had a feeling that Time, this beautiful mythical being, was the real deal. He thought back to their first encounter, the creature had remained hidden from view. They were haunted by the pain that had been caused, the destruction of half the universe had not been kind to the creature. Now, Heimdall only saw happiness in their eyes and their voice was like the most beautiful folk song and they wrapped around Heimdall like a human’s cat embraced their owner. Heimdall had truly been blessed. 

“It is not over yet little one.” The creature hummed in his ear. Heimdall laughed and swatted them away. 

“It never is with you.” He rolled his eyes. “So where to next?”

The creature laughed and Heimdall felt his whole soul lift with glee. It was truly magical. 

“A lost boy with only a robot for a friend” The dragon’s laughed echoed as it faded away. Heimdall sighed. There was truly no rest for the wicked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!! Obviously I'm setting up for the sequel but I'm gonna take a break from this universe whilst I get some other ideas out of my head and onto paper but I will be back I promise. I've got to stop Thanos after all :D Comments and kudos are appreciated as always, you can follow me on tumblr @Avengersbarnes. 
> 
> Sidenote: I'm super tired right now so any mistakes here let me know and I'll edit. I've proofread as much as I can but my brain is putty and I just really wanted to share it. 
> 
> Anyhoo. See you next level!


End file.
